Unscripted
by starrylambs
Summary: Rachel Berry is a successful actress and singer. She left Lima in the rear view mirror a long time ago, what happens when her past catches up with her in the most surprising of ways.
1. Pillow Hugs

**Authors note: Well since my last story have gotten quite a few reviews I decided to try out another one. If you read it thank you! And if you review I love you. Please be gentle.**

XX

"Action!" came the shrill cry, rising above the hustle and bustle of people going about their designated jobs. The owner of the voice, was crouched low behind his camera, willing his vision to come to life. It was the sixth attempt by the balding man to shoot this scene, and so far it's successful completion was evading him.

"How could you say that to me? I am your wife, the mother of your children! And I have not ..nor could I ever be unfaithful to you. I love you. I've always love you."

"Cuuut! No Rachel! No, no no! You gotta give me something to work with here, that was amateur at best!" he practically screeched, his bloodshot eyes glaring harshly at her from above his thick-framed glasses, which rested halfway down his squashy nose.

"I know Alan, I'm sorry, really. I guess I'm just feeling a little worn out.

_Or a __**lot**__ worn out._

"Look honey, I know this has been tough on you" said the middle-aged man in what he assumed to be a fatherly tone, while casually slinging a beefy arm over her tiny shoulders, "but nobody watching that scene is going to deem it worthy of an Oscar" he glanced at her knowingly. Everybody knew Rachel would dearly love to win an Oscar, it was part of her plan.

_Damn him, he's right. His tone however is __**not**__ appreciated. Asshole._

He continued talking, blithely unaware that the lithe brunette was seriously considering investing in a voodoo doll with his face on it.

"I mean sweetheart, it's as if your reading something from the back of a cereal box rather than declaring your undying love and devotion for your husband" he criticized lightly.

_I don't even eat cereal._

"Your problem is that your not ..passionate enough. You need that fire, that spark. As though your world might just end if you don't reach out and touch him right there in that instant. I know you have it in you." He smiled condescendingly, patting her on the head before resuming his original position behind the camera with an expectant gleam in his eye.

_Yeah? Well you will have it in you too when I shove my foot up your ..._

The brunette quelled her anger and sighed. She just wanted to get the hell out of here. Out of this studio, out of this city. Out of this life.

The short woman allowed her eyes to drift shut and immediately tuned out the surrounding din that constantly accompanied her wherever she went. She tried to remember what love felt like. Did it even exist? She used to think so, but life had worn her down. And her knight in shinning armour, had always turned out to be nothing more than an idiot in tinfoil.

She delved inside herself, probing those tightly repressed memories that had once been so close to her heart. The only memories that brought her any form of comfort or happiness these days. She would regret this later, but right now she had a job to do. People expected her to be professional, to show up, do her job and not to complain. She had built a career on it. When she had started off on Broadway, she was convinced that nothing could stop her, and she was right, she garnered fame, money and every award that could be won. Once at the top she thought she would feel accomplished, happy, but the path she had chosen had little room for anyone else and she felt more alone and isolated than she ever had. Singing didn't make her happy anymore, and so she left. Taking a year off and travelling the world trying to rediscover who Rachel Berry was. When she returned, she had an empty house and a stack of messages, one by one she had gone through her mail sorting them into two piles. **Friends **and **work.**

The friends pile was small. What she had found however was a letter from a former business associate who wanted her to make the leap from Broadway to the big screen, at first she refused, but then the bills began mounting up and she realized she needed something to keep her from fading from the public eye. So she took up her first role and loved it. Acting gave her a chance to completely change who she was, take on a whole other persona, reinvent herself. It helped with the pain and loneliness that clouded her now. And she was good at it, as her first movie began receiving worldwide praise and attention, the offers began flooding in and so here she was on the set of her eight consecutive film, trying to feel something she wasn't sure even existed.

Completely ignoring her burly co-stars painfully transparent attempt at flirting, she allowed her mind free reign. Free to rewind the last ten years. She had just turned sixteen, happy for the first time in a long time because she had joined Glee Club. She wasn't accepted exactly, merely tolerated, but to someone whose daily routine consisted of a trip to the dumpster and a slushie facial, it was a definite improvement. She had been the star and everything was falling into place. Ignoring the pang of longing in her heart, the budding actress pictured her former team mates and whispered their names one by one, a silent mantra in head. Comforting her.

Finn, Puck, Mercedes, Kurt, Brittany, Santana, Tina, Artie ..at this point she felt her brain pause momentarily then stutter back to life, muttering the name of her once enemy. Q-Quinn.

"I'm ready." She announced, strutting to the edge of the set and preparing her dramatic entrance. Something she had perfected since the age of one. The silent mantra now beginning to fuse with the dialogue for her upcoming scene. Their faces flitting briefly in and out of her minds eye. She was Alan open his mouth and say something but she was in the zone and completely focused on her task.

Finn, Puck, Mercedes, Kurt.

The former singer burst throw the stage door with angry tears clouding her vision.

"How could you say that to me? I am your wife, the mother of your children!"

She sensed the directors approval and felt a familiar rush of exhilaration.

Brittany, Santana, Tina, Artie.

It felt like a game of Russian roulette within her mind, each empty chamber opening to reveal another forgotten face.

"And I have not ..nor could I ever be unfaithful to you!"

Q-Quinn.

This time the chamber wasn't empty and she felt the lead pierce her skin.

"I love you. I've always loved you."

"Aaand cut!" beamed the broad-bellied director. "Excellent! Now that is what I'm talking about! I don't know where that came from Ms Berry, but I strongly suggest that you keep it going."

The brunette smiled graciously, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the corner of her sleeve and trying hard not to linger on the final snapshot in her head, confused at how the streams of thought had melded together. She then reminded herself of her resolution not to over think things and snapped back to reality. Well to some sort of reality at least.

"And that is a wrap, you are all free to get drunk, congratulations!" announced Alan happily. "Safe journey."

_I suppose I can let the voodoo doll slide for now._

The young actress didn't need to be told twice. While the rest of the cast and crew seemed content to loiter around chatting easily amongst themselves, the star knew she would much rather be at home enjoying some precious downtime. This notion was confirmed when she narrowly avoided her co-stars attempt at conversation with her as she fled the studio.

Hurrying to her small trailer, the brunette quickly grabbed her things and rushed to her car. Pressing a button on her keys causing the blue lights of the BMW nearby to flash, dazzling her momentarily, and got in. She groaned at the relief her feet felt as she relaxed into the leather seat. Quickly adjusting her seatbelt, she pulled out of her parking lot. Heading for home.

Ten minutes later, the small brunette made a sharp right turn and wend her way up the steep sloping pathway towards her three story haven. Pressing another button, the garage door slid open and she eased the car inside. The only spot taken up in the four car garage.

Shutting the door carefully behind her, she entered the warm body of her home and kicked off her shoes, flopping exhaustedly onto her huge squashy couch and began gently massaging her aching feet. The brunette remained like that for a few minutes , breathing in the rich smell of the various perfumed candles dotting the house.

Feeling abruptly bored, she lunged ungracefully for the remote and flicked lazily through her five hundred plus channels. Nothing could hold her attention for too long however, and she found herself drifting to sleep right there on the ridiculously comfortable couch.

Knowing she would regret it tomorrow, she dragged her unwilling body off the couch and checked all the doors and windows were securely locked. An annoying necessity which came with living alone. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, she tugged her lagging feet up the stairs and into bed. As a final act, she clapped her hands together once and the lights went out. The sound activated lights had quickly become a routine, the novelty wearing off as fast as the thrill.

It was in her bed that night, sleep attempting to lull her under, that her heart began the familiar ache. She knew it would come, welcomed it even, because it meant that she felt _something._ The names swirling through her brain, a vicious whirlpool, invading her every thought. Always stuttering on Q-Quinn. The ex-cheerleader, difficult even in memory.

She fell asleep clutching her favourite pillow tightly against her, trying to pretend the object was hugging her back.

She awoke in the same position as the night before, yawning widely, somehow still exhausted. However she knew once awake, she could never quite manage to fall back to sleep and so the brunette rolled out of bed and padded downstairs. The pillow lay abandoned on the cold side of the bed.

She swept down the staircase and headed straight for the kitchen, immediately preparing herself a cup of coffee to help with the drowsiness she still felt. As she allowed the coffee to cool slightly, a red blinking caught her eye and she pressed the button on her answering machine, expecting a call from her PA. Sure enough it was.

"Um hi Rachel. It's Emily."

The brunette rolled her eyes. Emily knew she was the only one to call her everyday, without fail. She appreciated the attempt though.

"I've just been contacted about a new movie deal. It's meant to be pretty big news. The director owes you a favour, apparently you helped him out one time with tickets to some Broadway shows, and there is a lot of hype surrounding this movie, specifically Oscar type hype. And the movie hasn't even started production yet."

The brown eyed girl shifted her weight, tilting her ear towards the machine as though it would help her hear more clearly. Her interest was pique.

"Well anyway, I got the producer to send me the script, which I have in my hands at this very moment. I'm making condensed notes and then I'll drop them by later today. So expect me around three. I'll speak to you later. And ..congratulations on your latest wrap."

The machine beeped and the brunette smiled, Emily was good at her job. She would have to be, in order to keep up with Rachel's sometimes ridiculous demands, apparently the pretty red-head enjoyed a challenge. Or so she said. Rachel had the sneaking suspicion that her once arch-enemy now turned best friend Jessie St. James might of had something to do with it. He worried about her, maybe this girl was his way of keeping tabs.

_Yeah that or my charming personality._

The actress snorted at how idiotic that sounded even to her, and glanced at the clock. Two o clock. She slept in way later than usual, though it wasn't surprising considering the amount of work she put into everything she did. It was just the way she was programmed. Deciding to end the brief self analysis that had just occured, the brunette made her way upstairs to take a shower and get dressed.

An hour later, the freshly made up woman entered the kitchen and put on another pot of coffee, just as the doorbell rang. The brunette shuffled waited a moment, and only moved once she heard the bell sound again, she didn't want Emily to think she had just been waiting for her to arrive or anything. She opened the door with a scowl and eyed the bubbly redhead.

"Oh it's you." She muttered before walking back inside and leaving the door open.

Emily knew not to take whatever Rachel said personally, and the star heard the door click shut as her PA'S heels clicked loudly against the marble tiles, following her into the kitchen and taking a seat at the breakfast bar.

"Yes it's me." Chirped the enthusiatic woman "Now I have the notes all made out and I've already made a no comment to every magazine that contacted me just in case you don't want to do it."

The brunette took the notes and quickly scanned the first page, she felt her eyebrows raise as she read.

"Do you have any questions?"

"I'm a lesbian?"

"Well It's good you finally came out of that closet then." Smirked the redhead deliberately misinterpreting the question.

"Oh ha ha. Very funny, I meant in the movie"

The PA giggled slightly at the lock on the brunette's face and then regained her composure as she remembered what her job was.

"That is correct. In this movie you will play a teacher who falls in love with one of her female students." She confirmed seriously, before asking "is that Ok?"

"Sure. I mean, it's fine whatever it's just a job right?"

"Yeah just a job" echoed the younger girl dutifully "so do you have any further questions, because I should really be getting back to the office?" questioned the redhead, already gathering her things and walking towards the door.

"Oh. Well um has anybody I know been cast yet? What about the student I'm meant to fall for?" snorted the brunette, accompanying the girl to the door.

"Yes well that part has actually just been cast, a relative newcomer I believe, she is meant to have blown them away in the auditions. She actually beat out Dakota Fanning for this one"

The former singer frowned. This girl must be good.

_Not as good as me of course._

The star added in her head.

"So I'll be here to pick you up at nine o clock tomorrow morning for your interview with Word magazine. OK?"

The brunette nodded still lost in thought as she watched the redhead getting into her car.

The engine started and the singer suddenly thought of something.

"What's her name? This oh so amazing actress?" she yelled above the noise.

The younger girl thought for a moment before yelling back.

"It's Quinn. Quinn Fabray."


	2. Damn whiskey

**AN: So wow thank you for reviews and all the story alerts and favourites, please keep them coming. Just to let you know this is slightly AU so Quinn was never pregnant. Please review.**

**XX**

_Quinn. Quinn Fabray._

The moment the brunette had heard those mind-reeling words, her knees gave way and she slumped pitifully against the oak polished front door, thankful that her assistant had not stayed to witness the meltdown. The blonde's face immediately flooding her mind with images. Invading every thought that presented itself to her. She couldn't handle this. She couldn't handle her past.

The actress lay there unmoving as the expected tears came, and she began to shake violently, moments away from a panic attack.

_Of all the people in the world ..how the hell ..Q-Quinn Fabray._

Her mind was working overtime, replaying every taunt, every snide remark, every piercingly cold slushie facial the cheerleader had directed at her. The tirade of images melding together so much so, that she found it difficult to tell where one torturous event ended and the other began.

_How could this happen? What kind of sick karma is this?_

The shaking girl had believed that she had firmly put everything to do with Lima locked tightly away, in a dark secluded area of her mind, that she only ever accessed once extremely intoxicated, or when she needed the emotion for an acting job, like last night. But this news, this bombshell had caused the turning of the key, the opening of a locked door somewhere inside her and every memory, every hope and dream she had felt in high school were now free to chase each other around her brain. Some had even overflowed and were now slowly leaking into her heart. She could already feel them dripping, soaking in, blotting her like ink from a pen. She wasn't sure if these marks could now be erased. She was too tired to fight them anymore.

She felt her breathing return to normal as this realisation flooded her, the memories now slowing, lingering on faces and smiles. She thought this was worse than the blur, it was making her feel things that hurt her, they weren't real, these people weren't her friends. They had all hated her, the memories were playing tricks on her, pretending that she was happy back then. She remembered them whispering, pointing, laughing. She remembered ..

"Q-Quinn .."

As she spoke the name aloud for the first time in ten years, her former tormentor came into sharp relief, the spiteful smile spread across her face as she mouthed some of her favourite nicknames at the trembling brunette. Rachel felt herself scan the picture in her minds eye, remembering how every blonde hair had been held perfectly in place by that high strung ponytail, how her teeth were so white they blinded people against the hidden fangs underneath, fangs that loved to taste the fear induced haze she had created for the younger Rachel Berry. The brunette shuddered lightly as she continued her exploration of the former cheerleaders face, she frowned as she reached her eyes. Her mind had created multi-coloured orbs, unable to ascertain which colour was in fact the correct shade. She couldn't remember what colour her eyes had been. Maybe because she had been too terrified to look the girl properly in her face.

The tanned girl huffed in frustration, she wanted to hate every inch of Quinn Fabray, and here was a piece missing, a piece she wanted to loathe, but couldn't. This wouldn't do, she wanted to remember what it was like to be glared at, to be seen as nothing more than a piece of dirt on the end of a name brand shoe. She needed to remember what eyes had pierced her during every dance number, every lunch-time in the cafeteria, every bus ride to competitions, every night before she cried herself to sleep.

The brunette abruptly leapt to her feet and ran towards the stairs, pausing halfway as a thought occurred to her, she retraced her steps and instead headed for the kitchen. She padded single-mindedly across the tiled floor and threw open the cabinet beside the fridge, reaching inside, she rummaged for a few moments before she felt her hand make contact with cool glass. Once she had established a firm grip on the bottle she pulled it out and studied it, half full. Perfect.

Bottle in hand, she left the cupboard door ajar and once again made her way to the stairs, rushing up two at a time as she cradled the heavy object under her arm. It wouldn't do to drop it now. Not when she really needed it. She practically jogged across the softly carpeted landing and through her open bedroom door. Tossing the heavy bottle onto her bed, she went straight for her walk-in closet, passing silk gowns, leather pants and an extensive shoe collection until she was at the very end of the small room. Before her was a chest of white drawers, simple and elegant. She gripped the cold polished handle and slowly pulled it open, inch by inch the inner drawer was being exposed, much to her anticipation.

She finally yanked the whole drawer open and her eyes fell upon the only thing that rested inside. A single book. She reached inside and gripped the thick hard-backed surface and turned it over, circling the bumpy lettering on the cover.

**McKinley High School Yearbook.**

She cringed at the happy, smiling faces on the cover. Anyone would think this school was full of content teenagers, that nothing bad or dramatic ever happened here. They would be wrong. She gazed at the faces one by one, she recognized a few, didn't recognise more. She wondered what they had been thinking about as they posed for these snapshots, were they now somewhere looking at this book like she was and shaking their head at it's hypocrisy. Or were they like Quinn, not even sure where the hell their book even was anymore. Not caring.

Not that _she _cared of course. She just wondered.

The brunette closed the drawer and carried the thick book back through the closet and onto the warm bed. She reached for the first page, ready to turn it, when her eyes fell upon the discarded bottle. Reaching out, she uncorked it and took a healthy swig, grimacing as the whiskey burned a trail down her throat on the way down. She felt it dip into her stomach and warm her.

She decided to take a swig after every couple of pages, surely that would be enough to block out some of the pain. And so it went.

Drama club. She had been in that damn thing for two days before she realized what a waste of space it, and everyone in it was. She was the best one there, why was she the only one that could see that?

_Swig._

Science club. This one had only lasted a day, she had reasoned herself into joining, panicking that she had no plan B if her obvious talents failed her and she might actually need grades. That was until a particularly powerful rendition of Don't rain on my Parade had convinced her there was no need to worry. She was sure to be discovered. And so went her brief dalliance with Science.

_Swig._

Gardening club. This club had actually managed to hold her interest for a few weeks, that was until somebody had threatened her with a shovel when she tried to point out that her flowers were in fact blossoming far better than everyone else's and that they should all take tips on angling their lilies in such a manner that the sun can reach them. She got her revenge by sneaking back in during lunch and destroying everyone's flower patches. That would teach them to ignore her obviously superior flower whispering skills.

_Swig._

The football team. Ahhh, she was wondering which page was going to unearth this little gem. She had fortunately, never become part of such a catastrophic mixture of bad football and overactive testosterone. To her rather extensive knowledge, they had failed to win even a single match during the time she spent at McKinley. She glanced at Puck's leering profile, he had turned out to be alright in the end. Perverted and creepy, but alright nonetheless. Standing beside him, equally tall and stupid was Finn Hudson. The worst quarterback to grace the halls of McKinley in living memory. He too was harmless, maybe a little sweeter than Puck, she had afterall dated him for quite a while. But there had been no spark, no will to maintain the relationship long distance. He had wanted them to remain together in Lima, she obviously declined. New York was her destiny. Always had been.

The brunette knew that the first of the cheerios seven pages began next, they had always been after the football team in the yearbook. She braced herself. What for? She wasn't really sure.

_Swig. . Swig. Swig._

She shakily turned the page, prepared to confront those penetrating eyes for the first time in ten years. Her gaze immediately zoned in on Quinn. Perfect bubble-gum smile in place, proud as punch to have retained her position as head cheerleader, regardless of Santana's continued persistence. The brunette looked at her eyes and let out a growl of frustration. Of course this picture wouldn't get her any closer to the colour, it was black and white. Had she simply not realized? Or, had she been seeing things in black and white for too long.

She threw the offending item across the room and studied her bottle. It was almost gone.

_Oh well. Waste not want not._

She chugged the rest of the smooth liquid down and dropped it on the bed, her whole head was now dizzy. The room was spinning and she didn't like it. She briefly contemplated phoning Jesse and pouring her heart out to him, but he was probably busy, and she felt like this is something she should have learned to handle a long time ago.

The brunette spied the previously abandoned pillow and hugged it tightly against her again, trying to block everything out so she could just think. She couldn't do this movie, not with Quinn. Not her. She would just have to call Emily and tell her to cancel it. No harm, no foul. She immediately picked up her bedside phone, ready to call, when something stopped her. Her fingers hovered mere inches above the buttons as their earlier conversation played out in her head.

"_It's meant to be pretty big news. The director owes you a favour, apparently you helped him out one time with tickets to some Broadway shows, and there is a lot of hype surrounding this movie, specifically Oscar type hype._

She wanted that Oscar.

She frowned and rolled over, shutting her eyes against the sunlight streaming through her bedroom window.

_I really want that Oscar. I don't want to work with Quinn._

The brunette absentmindedly rubbed her temple as she tried to think, the alcohol not helping with the confusion.

_Maybe I could get her fired?_

That was certainly a possibility, she had the power to pull it off. But what would the press think? Surely they would just about have a field day. She could almost picture the headlines now.

"**Diva Berry strikes again"**

"**Berry to land Oscar as co-star is sacked"**

"**Rachel Berry rains on Quinn Fabray's parade"**

She snorted at her own logic. Maybe she should run this by Emily, maybe the PA could find a cheap assassin online.

_Or an expensive one. _

Her smirk faded as she realized that she needed to make a decision and fast. She could quit now and win an Oscar later, but movies like this don't come around very often and she wasn't getting any younger. And anyway, she was Rachel freaking Berry, nobody intimidated her anymore. It was the other way around now. Why should Quinn be any different? This wasn't high school anymore, and the advantage was clearly with her. She would just do what she always did, her job. Maybe it would be Rachel's wrath that the blonde would now quake before. Revenge was sweet.

With that comforting thought, the brunette rang her PA before she could change her mind.

"Hello?" chirped Emily happily. God did this girl ever have a bad day?

"Emily.."

"Rachel?" Well dawh.

"Uh hmm."

"Are you alright? Your mumbling."

The actress frowned.

_I am not mumbling. _

"Me? I'm fiiinee. Don't worry about me, now about this movie." Slurred the brunette, trying to get the damn girl back on topic.

"The lesbian one?" questioned the redhead, obviously disturbed at the girls inability to speak coherently.

"Right again! I bet your good at twenty questions. Anyways tell them that I'll do it."

"Are you drunk?" exclaimed the PA. It was only five o clock.

"What? How dare you!"

"Rachel?"

"Maybe a little." She admitted begrudgingly, staring at the empty bottle of whiskey on the ground. "But I still want to do the movie, so have my people tell their people. Or whatever it is you do."

"Very well. Is their anything else that I can help you with?"

"Were you ever in gardening club?"

**XX**

The brunette woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, her mouth felt like noon in death valley and she was still wearing the clothes she had on yesterday.

Never a good sign.

She reluctantly rolled over and eyed the alarm clock. Ten o clock. She had fallen asleep a few minutes after she made that phone call to Emily. She must have been out for around eleven hours.

_Damn whiskey._

The brunette gingerly made her way downstairs and poured herself a glass of water. She gulped it down thirstily and immediately had another. It soothed her headache slightly and her throat was no longer parched. A good sign.

She grabbed a banana and began absentmindedly eating it as she watched the sun trickle through her kitchen blinds. She just never knew where to look when eating a banana.

She was broken out of her reverie by the sound of a car approaching.

_Emily._

The brunette took her time eating the fruit, before discarding the peel in the nearby dustbin, slowly making her way to the door.

Emily greeted her warmly with a huge smile before taking in the other girls haggard appearance. If she noticed that the clothes were the same as the day before, she didn't show it. She merely instructed the brunette to shower and change before their meeting that day.

"What meeting? I thought I was off today?" questioned the brunette tiredly, annoyed that Emily had neglected to tell her.

"Well you did say you wanted to do the movie right?"

The actress blinked.

"Oh god. _That _meeting.."

"Yes. _That _meeting. Now go get changed, I'll wait for you down here."

The brunette climbed the stairs, mumbling about whiskey and assassins.

The shower had woken her up and the nervousness and fear had returned ten fold. She watched her hand shake as she applied the finishing touches to her makeup, and tried desperately to remind herself that this was an acting job. She just had to _act _confident and aloof. Everything would be ok.

XX

"So..." began the brunette, fiddling nervously with the belt buckle in her limo as they drove towards her worst nightmare.

Emily turned to look at her, expectant.

"I-is ..Q-Quinn going to be there today?"

The redhead quirked an eyebrow. She had never heard Rachel Berry stutter before.

"I would expect so. She is your co-star after all." The younger woman answered calmly.

"Yeah your right." Mumbled the brunette "co-star .." she turned her face towards the window and watched with a growing sense of panic how the buildings swished passed them, carrying her towards her former tormentor. The memories had started flooding back the moment she woke up that morning, she felt the ink etch deeper and deeper into her heart, circling her lungs, squeezing the air out of her. She remembered the last time she saw Quinn.

_It had been just after graduation. Rachel had been hugging Tina, each promising that they would stay in touch (which they didn't) and that they would never grow apart (which the did.) She had turned and spotted the blonde a few metres away, standing with her parents, who seemed to be arguing about something. The blonde had looked miserable and she noticed Rachel watching. The younger Berry had offered the taller girl a small smile, the cheerleader looked blankly back for a moment before glaring at her with as much contempt as she could. That look frightened Rachel and she averted her gaze. When she looked back. The blonde was gone._

She had never seen the blonde after that day. And she never looked back.

The brunette was broken out of her reverie by Emily gently touching her shoulder.

"What?" asked the lithe actress impatiently.

"I said, we're here."

The older girl swallowed and looked out the window, sure enough the car had come to a standstill just outside a swanky hotel where she was destined to meet the producer.

Emily got out and opened her door, the brunette slid out gracefully and onto the cold hard pavement which led to the entrance.

They walked in, side by side.

"He said he would be at a table in the back" the redhead informed her, leading the nervous girl through the foray and towards the restaurant.

"Is she here too?"

Emily didn't hear her, as she was already scanning the tables for a hint of this famous producer. Her eyes lit up as she spotted him waving her towards him.

"There he is come on" she said leading the brunette towards the table.

Rachel walked slowly, her eyes locked on the blonde that was sitting with her back to them. This was it, she was about to meet Quinn. Did she know Rachel was working with her now? Did she looked the same? Was she married?

All these questioned floated through her mind as they got closer to the table. Her heart pounded in her ears and she felt her palms grow damp as she clenched them in anticipation.

"Ahhh Ms Berry and Miss Woods glad you could make it." Spoke the middle-aged man cheerfully. "Allow me to introduce my companion .."

The brunette held her breath and looked at the floor as the blonde turned towards her.

"This is Miss Waters, she will be in charge of hair and makeup for this film" the man informed them.

Rachel's head shot up immediately and she exhaled in relief, Quinn wasn't here. Maybe she pulled out. It wouldn't surprise her really. She should have expected this. She felt herself turn on auto-pilot as she greeted the couple and took her seat with a smile. She was frustrated, the eyes were still a mystery.

The foursome made small talk and ordered lunch, Emily asked the usual questions and the man who came to be known as Gerry was in the middle of a particularly boring answer when the brunette heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Hi, I'm so sorry I'm late, traffic was terrible" panted Quinn apologetically.

"Nonsense, nonsense" said Gerry kindly "your right on time, take a seat. This is Miss Waters, that charming redhead is Miss Woods" he stated with a wink in Emily's direction "and this I'm sure you have heard of her is Miss Berry." He gestured at the stiff brunette with the air of having pulled a rabbit out of a hat.

Quinn's smile faltered and her eyes widened in amazement.

"Rachel?"

The brunette brought her gaze slowly up from where it rested on her plate to meet hazel eyes currently staring at her in shock.

_How could I ever forget._


	3. You've changed?

"Rachel?"

The moment she had heard her name spoken in such a shocked tone, the brunette's eyes had snapped up from the table cloth she was absent-mindedly fraying, and she found herself gazing into those hazel-green eyes once more. She didn't know how she was meant to react, what was the appropriate response to your one-time enemy? And in such a unique situation.

Stupid Quinn.

She was older now, her face had matured perfectly of course. She looked like she had just stepped from the pages of some swanky fashion magazine. The brunette's eyes narrowed spitefully as she continued her study of the blonde. The years had been good to Quinn Fabray. No wrinkles, no blemishes. She was just as flawless as she had always been. The shorter girl quickly glanced down, momentarily surprised that Quinn wasn't wearing her patented red and white cheerleader's uniform. Hell she was even surprised that Santana and Brittany weren't here, hovering somewhere nearby, pinkies intertwined as the Latina sent scowls her way.

Just as this thought occurred to her, the brunette nervously studied the restaurant reflexively, ready to flinch should the Latina aim a slushie her way. Of course there was nobody there, and after a final peek beneath the table, the actress was satisfied that Quinn would be the only danger in this scenario. Not that, that was comforting, not by a long shot.

She met the ex-cheerleader's gaze once more, still unable to ascertain the exact shade, they're were flickers of hazel, green and eve some brown, nestling between the two. She needed a new word for those stupid eyes. Green ..hazel ..

Grazel.

The brunette mulled this new found word around in her mind, testing it. After a brief deliberation, she deemed it satisfactory, for the moment at least. Something more permanent would need to be established for future hate. Abruptly, she wanted to say it aloud, to see if it rolled off her tongue like she imagined it would.

They're was something different about those eyes now though, as they surveyed her neutrally from over the flickering candles between them. They were bright, vivid even. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, which only served to annoy her more.

No more than two seconds had passed since Quinn had spoken.

The actress broke out of her reverie, when she felt a sharp pinch graze her knee.

_What the ..?_

She looked to her right and saw Emily give her a pointed look.

_Oh crap. What did she say again? Think Berry. Ok ..eyes..grazel ..Santana..slushie.."Rachel?"_

Bingo.

"Hello Quinn."

Rachel chuckled internally as the blonde's newly dubbed grazel eyes widened even further. There was no mistaking Rachel Berry's voice. Not when you had to endure it five days a week for three years.

"I didn't know you would be here." The blonde stated, calmer now as she allowed the situation to soak in.

_Great back to square one. Gearing up for idiot response number two. What the hell do I say back to that?_

The brunette fumed furiously as she tried to decide whether Quinn was being nasty or inquisitive.

She decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. For this, at least.

Should she say the same thing back? Lie? Or be honest and let Quinn know that she wasn't completely blindsided by this, that she knew the other woman would be Quinn and she still came.

Decisions, decisions.

The brunette felt herself standing before a fork in the road, unsure of which path would cause the least amount of pain. The game of Russian roulette which had lain dormant now resumed with a vengeance, the barrel echoing dully with each rotation. Her stomach was suddenly engulfed with wings, strong, flapping wings that fluttered into every crevice, searching for an escape route. Wanting to be anywhere but here.

"Disappointed?" asked the brunette, a hint of a smirk playing at her lips. She wanted to know, but feared the answer.

She had decided to test the waters, why not give the blonde a chance to get her digs in early, if they were going to come, might as well be prepared.

Gerry chose that moment to interrupt.

_Idiot._

"Ahhh I see you girls are already acquainted?"

Thank you Captain Obvious.

"Oh you could say that" smirked the brunette trying to decipher what the blonde was thinking, she was frowning slightly at Gerry. What would her answer have been?

"**More than disappointed manhands.."**

Yeah probably something like that, she was probably putting it mildly herself.

"Very good. Well, while I have you both here, I would like to discuss something with you. We would like to make a ..change of sorts in regards to the movie."

The brunette's attention was immediately diverted. Her Oscar was at stake dammit!

"Changes? What changes?" questioned Emily aware that Rachel was probably in mini-meltdown as they spoke.

"Well I have discussed it with my colleagues" began the broad-bellied man hesitantly, "and we have decided to alter the characters slightly."

The dark haired actress leaned forward, entirely focused on the man in front of her, vaguely aware that Quinn was still staring at her.

"While the characters will essentially remain the same, we have decided that Ms Berry's character" he motioned towards Rachel, almost colliding with her face because of her close proximity, "will also be portrayed as a student. Teacher-student relationships have been done in the past and well, but we want this story to be unique, and there isn't that many films out there dealing with teen sexuality and confusion over gay feelings they may be experiencing. We would like this to be original."

Rachel allowed herself to exhale, this was fine, not much of a change really. Though she would have liked to play a teacher if she was honest.

"And Miss Fabray" continued Gerry, now shifting slightly the better to see her. "We would like you to play a cheerleader, or reason for this is that one of the girls, you, will be playing a popular girl firmly established in the hierarchy who falls for an outcast of sorts."

Quinn glanced nervously at Rachel who was following every word with rapt attention, a disbelieving frown deepening with every syllable.

"I believe you had a cheerleading background with the legend that is Miss Sue Sylvester?" he questioned.

She nodded.

"Yes."

"Great woman. To still be doing what she does at her age .." he trailed off admiringly.

Emily cleared her throat pointedly and he shook his head.

"Right so, this adjustment shouldn't be too much trouble for you I'm assuming Miss Fabray."

Quinn eye's narrowed slightly and she returned the mans grin with a tight smile of her own that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Rachel meanwhile had exploded internally.

_A cheerleader? Are you kidding me! Next thing you know I'll be the lead singer of a crappy show choir destined for failure with a teacher who seems to love nothing more than singing Journey and creeping everybody out. Are they going to make me wear animal sweaters too? This is unacceptable. I can't work with her. I can't do this again._

"Good. Now I don't know about you but I'm starving, let's eat." He beamed happily before tucking a napkin safely beneath his chin and eyeing his chicken hungrily.

The meal was mostly silent, the occasional brave attempt at conversation by Gerry fell flat, and he too resumed his meal in silence. Rachel kept her eyes trained on her own salad-filled plate, but she could feel Quinn still watching her, practically burning holes in her head. Emily had glanced at her nervously once or twice, she almost wished she could see her face right now, she was sure to get a good laugh. She was probably as white as a ghost. Maybe Quinn was a ghost, cause she was sure doing a good job of haunting the hell out of her.

The brunette glanced up surreptitiously, eyeing the blonde opposite her for some sign of paranormal activity. Surely if she were a spirit she wouldn't be able to hold that fork? Or maybe she was some sort of a demon. Yeah, a demon fit better. The taller girl had barely touched her food, she was merely pushing it from side to side, a habit she had gotten from high school no doubt, silently judged in the cafeteria with every morsel that passed her lips. They all knew about Sue's diet regime.

After a few more minutes, Gerry smacked his lips appreciatively and called for the cheque.

"Well that was splendid. I know how to pick em' ey girls?" he asked with a wink.

They both mumbled an incoherent response which he took as an affirmative and beamed.

"Good. My apologies ladies, but I have an important meeting in half an hour that I really must make. Unless of course, you have any questions about your new roles?" he glanced at both girls inquiringly.

_Your damn right I do chicken boy!_

The brunette glanced at Quinn who's eyes were glued to her plate.

_I can't say it in front of her. So not classy. Besides, that would let her know that she's got to me. Which she hasn't .._

"Very well, Miss Waters if you will" he offered a broad arm to the older women which she accepted gracefully, and the two of them left the table and began wending their way through the sea of tables and towards the front door."

Rachel knew that she had to do something before he left.

"Emily would you kindly inform Gerry that I would like a meeting with him as soon as possible." The brunette asked with a polite smile.

"Of course Miss Berry." Replied the confused redhead , quickly rising to her feet and rushing towards the double doors.

The tanned girl watched her for a moment, then turned back to face the table, just as Quinn looked up from her plate. She seemed almost surprised to see the suddenly empty table. Recovering quickly, she plastered a small smile on her face.

"So, the famous Rachel Berry huh?"

The brunette snorted and glared at her.

"What sick of manhands now that I'm a somebody are we?"

The blonde flinched.

Rachel awarded herself a mental fist pump.

"I'm not that person anymore Rachel." She answered, gazing at the brunette with apologetic eyes.

"I was a bitch in High school."

"Yes you were. And now, just as I'm on the precipice of winning an Oscar, you crop up again. Do you live to make my life miserable or am I just really unlucky?"

The blonde tilted her head to the side, surveying the brunette.

"I didn't even know you would be here. It's hardly my fault they decided to cast me, I went for an audition just like you."

_Could she be more irritating. Ugh._

"But your disappointed." Stated the brunette.

"That wasn't a question."

"I knew the answer."

"You assume too much." Observed the blonde.

"Not really."

"It wasn't a question."

The shorter girl huffed and glared.

"But I bet your happy now. Quinn Fabray head cheerleader, reliving her golden days of waving pom poms around a field."

The taller girls eyes narrowed and she glanced at her nails in an attempt to remain calm.

"Your assuming again."

"That's because it's true. I bet those days of being in charge of a mass of half-starved, brainless sheep were the best years of your life." Spat the brunette.

"Your right. Those were the best years of my life, but not for the reasons you think" the blonde answered, maddeningly calm.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about your romance with Sam the golden boy, that must have been fun for you. Finding someone as spineless as your mindless followers, I mean he must have been to stay with a cold-hearted bitch like you."

The taller girl attempted to conceal her flinch this time, but Rachel saw it. Screw the fist pump, she needed some confetti canons after that jab.

Emily chose this moment to make her reappearance. Panting and huffing as she approached the table, having run four blocks to catch up with Gerry's car.

"He said he would be delighted to meet you on Friday at three." She choked out, reaching for her bottle of water thirstily.

The brunette nodded to herself, still watching Quinn who had begun to gather her things. She paused for a moment to meet her gaze.

"You know you don't need to meet him."

"What are you-?"

"I'm not doing the movie. I'm going to call him and tell him that I'm pulling out."

She smiled lightly at the brunette's shocked expression.

"I told you Berry. I'm not that sort of person anymore. So no need to get me fired."

And with that, the blonde was gone.

Emily gulped as she downed the remaining dregs of water and glanced at the actress who still hadn't moved.

"Rachel? What the hell was all that about?

**XX**

The brunette returned home an hour later and headed straight for the fridge, grabbing a bottle of wine and a bag of potato chips, before collapsing on the couch. That encounter with Quinn had exhausted her, physically and emotionally. She felt like she had jogged ten miles down memory lane, and then run over by a truck.

At least she was rid of her now. No more nasty surprises on the horizon. Just Oscars and alcohol.

With that in mind, the brunette began to drink.

Two hours and two bottles of wine later, Rachel was trawling the internet, drunkenly searching for each button, stabbing them one at a time. She was going to Google Quinn Fabray.

Wikipedia you rock.

**Quinn Fabray, born in Lima Ohio ..yada yada yada. Raised in a strictly religious family ..bla bla bla. Attended McKinley High School, bleugh.**

Ahhh here it is, her list of movie roles. She flicked through them hungrily, wondering how they had never crossed paths before this, the blonde had worked on some big movies with some big names. Was she so self –involved that she only noticed things that directly affected her? She clicked on one at random and began to skim the description.

_A young girl, falls in love with the town outcast in a powerful love story bla bla bla._

Hang on. This was _also _a lesbian movie?

Interesting.

What was it called again? She quickly scrolled up and read the title.

Living sin.

A devilish smirk appeared on the brunette's face as she stared at the name. Picking up her phone she dialled her assistant's number.

A half an hour and yet another bottle of wine later, and Rachel was settled on the couch immersed in the movie.

Quinn was an amazing actress. Though she was loathe to admit it. It was a poignant love story and had the brunette completely hooked after the first five minutes. She was just shoving a particularly large handful of popcorn into her mouth when she choked and spluttered.

Sex scene.

Quinn Fabray was rolling around half-naked on her TV screen.

_Oh my god._

The actress gently massaged her throat, eyes still glued to the screen.

When it was over, she found herself reaching for the remote and rewinding it. Again and again.

And again.

After the sixth time re-watching it, the brunette continued watching the remainder of the film, crying at the final scene as Quinn's character is laid to rest. Her death the result of a horrific car crash.

It really was a great movie.

Quinn's moans filled her ears.

A _really _great movie.

She shook her head and stood up, glaring at the empty wine bottles. Alcohol did strange things with her brain.

She made her way gingerly up the stairs and climbed fully-clothed into bed, hugging her pillow close to her chest. Something was nagging her, and it wasn't until half-asleep that she realized what it was.

Quinn's eyes looked different because there was no hatred in them anymore.


	4. Necklace

**AN: Thank you for the reviews so far! Keep them coming they're like crack to be, seriously.**

**So I thought I would shake things up a bit in my next chapter, this is just a filler really. A bit of the past. Let me know what you think **

**XX**

_Without him the world around me changes, a world that's full of happiness that I have never known.._

The brunette opened her eyes to the sound of her own voice, drifting through the speakers of her custom made alarm clock. She turned over and beamed at the tiny device, it was much nicer than the regular beep beep beep. Was there any better way to wake up then to have _the _Rachel Berry belting out a heartfelt rendition of On my Own? She didn't think so.

She sat up slowly, testing the waters. She had a mild headache and a parched throat, not too bad after practically inhaling four bottles of wine the night before. The brunette rolled out of bed and shuffled towards the floor length mirror to survey the damage.

Panda eyes and bed hair, still though nothing she couldn't fix with a shower and some carefully applied makeup. As she gazed into her own dark brown eyes reflected back at her, she had a sudden flashback of the first time she had ever felt the burning taste of alcohol. It seemed funny to her that Quinn had been at fault.

_It was senior year and Rachel had been invited to a party at Puck's house. She had been excited, her first party since ..well ever. She had spent hours trying and re-trying on clothes, she had to get this right, for once she needed to blend in. Look like she belonged. The singer had finally settled on a short black dress that fell just below her knee, it hugged her curves perfectly and she was surprised at how it complimented her._

_She added a slight wave to her hair and allowed it to flow over her shoulders and tickle her chest, a small silver necklace rested just above her plunging neckline. Usually she would have donned her Finn necklace, but it had been stolen from her locker last week. She didn't really see who would choose to steal it, but she thought it was just as well, their relationship was coming to a close. She topped her outfit off with a pair of killer black heels that set her outfit off perfectly. _

_Finn had arrived to pick her up at eight thirty sharp like she had told him, and they had left for the party together. The moment they arrived at the house, Rachel grew nervous. She could already hear the thumping of the music coming from just beyond the front door, people were strewn across the lawn, making out or simply passed out. This really wasn't her scene. But in the next moment, Finn had grabbed her hand and led her into the devils layer._

_Needless to say, Finn abandoned the brunette within minutes of entering and she found herself wandering alone through the mass of bodies that filled every inch of space. After much elbowing and "I'm sorry excuse me's" she managed to fight her way through the patio door and onto the empty decking in the back yard. Sighing, she took a seat and wondered what the hell she thought would be different. What just because she was invited to a party that people would actually talk to her? That she would somehow become one of the accepted? She knew in her heart she never would._

_Just as she was contemplating sneaking home early and singing a song about it, the back door slid open and somebody stepped out, shutting it behind them. The brunette didn't bother turning around, whoever it was would probably just ignore her anyway._

"_What are you doing out here?"_

_Rachel spun around so fast she almost got whiplash._

"_Quinn?"_

_The blonde merely nodded, surveying Rachel through half closed eyes. She was totally buzzed._

"_I-I'm out here because ..it's a bit much for me in there." Admitted the brunette, gazing at the house uncomfortably, before turning to face the cheerleader again._

"_Why are you out here?"_

"_Same reason as you." Shrugged the blonde nonchalantly, trying not to sway as she made her way towards the steps where the brunette was perched. _

"_What?" she added at the brunette's sceptical expression._

"_It's just .." shrugged Rachel "all this is kind of what you do right?"_

_The blonde frowned._

"_I-I just mean that-"_

"_Your right." Realized the taller girl._

_The singer was stunned. _

"_I am?"_

"_You are." Confirmed the cheerleader with a slight hiccup. "This is what I'm supposed to do, drink, have fun, make fun of people like you." She pointed to a pot plant nearby instead of her intended target._

"_So why aren't you?" asked the brunette slightly wary that the blonde was sharing her thoughts seemingly without a filter._

_The cheerleader carefully sat down beside the smaller girl and closed her eyes for so long the singer was beginning to wonder if she fell asleep. She was just about to poke her, when the blonde spoke._

"_Because I'm tired."_

"_Do you want to lie down?" wondered the shorter girl._

_The blonde snorted slightly before fixing Rachel with her penetrating._

"_No Berry. I'm tired, I'm tired of doing all this" she gestured at the house and herself in the same movement. "I'm tired of drinking and pretending to have fun."_

_The brunette didn't dare to breathe, did Quinn Fabray actually have non-shallow feelings?_

"_I'm tired of making fun of you Rachel."_

_The shorter girl gasped dramatically, trying to meet the blonde's gaze to see if she was telling the truth._

"_Why do you do it then?" she questioned breathlessly._

"_Because It's what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to be the cold, heartless bitch that slushies geeks and dates the most popular guy in the school"_

"_That doesn't sound very fun to be" the brunette pointed out._

_Quinn smiled lightly, tilting her head to meet the shorter girls gaze._

"_It's not."_

_Rachel returned her smile and they fell into companionable silence. It was comfortable, they didn't need to fill the silence._

"_I wanted to have my first drink tonight." Admitted Rachel snorting slightly._

_Quinn turned to look at her before smirking devilishly._

"_Well Berry, its your lucky day." The blonde informed her, before producing a bottle of vodka from nowhere._

_The brunette eyed the bottle warily, she wasn't so sure about this now that it was right there in front of her._

"_C'mon take a risk" winked the blonde before taking a swig herself and spilling a little in the process. "Oops" she giggled lightly before pushing the bottle into the other girls hand "your turn."_

_Rachel tilted the bottle and brought the neck of it to her mouth, she could taste Quinn's cheery lip-gloss on the tip as she swallowed the foul tasting liquid and felt it burn a path down to her stomach._

"_Ew." _

_Quinn cracked up and grabbed the bottle back. _

"_You need to drink a bit more before it loses the paint remover taste" the taller girl informed her seriously._

_They passed the bottle back and forth until it Rachel was seeing double, double Quinn was interesting._

_They lay back and watched the clouds for awhile, making ridiculous pictures out of the wispy puffs._

"_That right there is me accepting my first Oscar" the brunette stated proudly, before shifting to see if Quinn agreed. The blonde was frowning about three inches to the left of where the tanned girl was pointing._

"_I think it looks like an Octopus. I like Octopuses." _

_Rachel was mildly offended, but the innocent look on Quinn's face caused her to crack up._

_Quinn looked at her. _

"_Why are you laughing at me?"_

_Rachel took one look at the blonde's haughty expression and descended into further hysterics. _

_The blonde huffed and fell silent with a small smile playing on her lips._

"_What time is it?" asked the taller girl suddenly._

"_Umm, it's twelve." Answered the brunette, checking her phone._

"_Oh crap. I have to go, my curfew is in a half an hour." The blonde stated, dusting herself off slightly as she stood._

"_Oh. Well I think I'll stay here for a while" the brunette said happily, gazing up at the swaying form hovering above her._

"_Suit yourself Berry, goodnight." _

"_Goodnight Quinn."_

_The cheerleader opened the door and turned around to look at the brunette once more._

"_Oh Rachel?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Nice necklace."_

_And with that the blonde was gone._

_Rachel felt happier than she had in a long time and went to sleep smiling vaguely, the taste of vodka and lip-gloss still clinging to her lips._

_The next day at school the brunette watched Quinn approach with a grin. Her "hello" was lost in the torrent of purple slushie that clouded her vision. She gagged and spluttered staring at the cheerleaders outstretched hand uncomprehendingly, realizing too late that she held two cups. The second one hit her faster, pooling about her neck and dripping down her clothes before soaking the floor beneath her with the frosty drink._

"_See you in Glee manhands" the blonde spat before walking away._

**XX**

Rachel shook her head and banished the memory, she wasn't that person anymore. She was famous, she was loved, nobody could take that away from her now. Not even Quinn Fabray.

The brunette jumped as her phone vibrated in the pocked of her jeans. She slipped the small cell from it's denim prison and flipped it open impatiently.

"Hello?"

"Rachel it's Emily, I'm just calling to remind you that you have lunch with Gerry today."

_Oh joy._

"Right. Thanks Emily."

"My pleasure Miss Berry. Is there anything else you need?"

The brunette frowned at her reflection.

"Gerry really likes Quinn doesn't he?"

There was a short pause before Emily recovered.

"Be honest Emily, no matter how you think I may feel about her"

She could practically see the assistant nodding.

"Yes Miss Berry he does. While I arranged our meeting yesterday he told me how excited he was about having the two of ye working together. He said he thought ye would have great chemistry on-screen. He told me that the storyline is good, but the two of you would be the ones to bring it alive. And Oscars would follow."

_I want that Oscar._

The brunette pinched the bridge of her nose. That's what she had been afraid of.

"Thanks for the honesty I guess." She mumbled bitterly.

_God damn Quinn Fabray. _

"Rachel are you OK? Do you need anything?"

_A time machine._

The brunette exhaled shakily, knowing what she needed to do.

"Can you get me her address?"


	5. Picture Perfect

**AN: As always, thank you for the reviews. I have changed the rating to give myself a bit more freedom in regards to sex and language and that sort of thing. Not that I'm saying there will be sex, you'll just have to wait and see. ;)**

**XX**

Rachel took care as she got dressed. She wasn't going to make it easy for Quinn to find something to sneer at. Gone were the days or argyle socks and puppy sweaters. She wasn't the pushover she used to be in High school. She did the intimidating these days.

_Badass Berry._

Emily came to pick her up shortly after two, because after all, she wasn't going to show up without a witness. Just in case old Quinn came out to play ..possibly wielding a shotgun or something equally horrific.

As they drove, the brunette's leg began to jingle nervously, something it hadn't done in years. Emily raised an eyebrow at the offending limb, but decided not to comment. It seemed the assistant sensed that now was not the time for idle chit chat. She still had no idea why they were going to Quinn Fabray's apartment, but that's what Rachel wanted and what she wanted, she invariably got.

They drove a further ten minutes before the car came to a stop, the engine was cut and Emily turned to face the nervous brunette.

Rachel was freaking out.

It was one thing to have lunch in a public place with her, it was another thing entirely to visit her home. She was effectively walking into the lions den, and it terrified her.

Her dark brown eyes were wide as she stared unseeingly at the oak partition that separated them from the driver. Her palm were sweating as she hastily rubbed them against the cold leather seats and huffed in irritation at her body's betrayal of the calm composure she was hoping for. She could almost hear Emily biting back the millions of questions she longed to fire at her. Maybe it would help, she could tell her to mind her own business and the redhead would quiver in fear and order would be restored.

But she didn't.

They sat their silently for a moment longer, then Rachel became annoyed.

_It's just a goddamn apartment! Who cares what she thinks. I'm head bitch now._

The brunette pushed the door open and slid out, graceful and smooth.

Emily, who jumped at the unexpected movement, scrambled awkwardly out of the car, tripping over her own feet in her haste to reach the brunette, who was marching purposefully towards the entrance of the well-kempt building.

_Nothing _like Rachel's little slice of heaven of course, but it did have a certain charm, she supposed.

The actress paused at the front door, apparently there was some sort of buzzer system. She hadn't anticipated it, and was mildly frustrated, they were going to lose the element of surprise.

"Emily" murmured the brunette, gesturing disgustedly at the row of shiny silver buttons.

The redhead immediately sprang into action, rushing forward and pushing the button for apartment number seven. Not that Rachel was interested of course, she just happened to be looking that way.

"Who is it?" came the clear voice of Quinn Fabray, drifting from the small speaker beneath the neat row of names.

"Hello Miss Fabray, this is Emily Peters, Miss Berry's assistant. May I come in?"

The brunette wondered briefly what would happen if Quinn said no. She eyed the building, it didn't look to hard to scale.

After a short pause, the blonde's voice returned, slightly higher than before.

"Is she with you?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

_She has a name Fabray._

Emily glanced at the brunette, who nodded, her throat didn't seem to be working very well at the moment.

"Yes. She's here."

The speaker fell silent and Rachel was just about to turn around and head home when the buzzer sounded.

She let them in.

**XX**

The duo exchanged a glance before making their way through the door and inside the cosy elevator. It was the kind of elevator that played soft music as you went, the brunette felt herself relaxing as the melody lulled her.

They reached the third floor and the doors parted, revealing a nicely lit hallway. The white polished door stood at the very end of the carpeted corridor.

_How mysterious of her._

After what felt like an hour, they reached the door and Emily lifted a hand to knock.

"Wait" said the brunette quickly, grabbing the startled assistants arm.

The redhead nodded and retracted her hand, letting it fall carelessly to her side.

Rachel stared at the door, picturing the heartless cheerleader that had made her life a living hell for three years. Then she pictured the mature, put together women that sat in front of her at the restaurant, telling her that she had changed.

_We'll see._

The brunette took a deep breath, raised her own shaking hand, and knocked. She then stepped behind Emily, making it appear as though the assistant had done the knocking.

They both heard the blonde run to the door and smirked as they listened to her pause inside the door, trying to regain her breath and probably berate herself for being such a dork.

Quinn pulled the door open and her eyes immediately found Rachel's.

"Hi" she said, then smiled at the anti-climatic greeting.

"Hello" replied Emily cheerfully, "I hope you don't mind the sudden intrusion."

"No intrusion at all. Come in." She replied with a small smile, stepping aside to make room for them.

Rachel hesitated until Emily poked her squarely in the back.

"T-thanks." She mumble, making her way into the spacious entrance hall.

Quinn seemed to be a fan of white. White walls, white ceiling, white carpet.

_How virginal. _The brunette thought with a snort.

Small pictures dotted the walls, but they weren't the usual, a meadow here, a waterfall landscape there kind of cliché stuff. They were intimate, personal, as though you were watching them happen before your own eyes. Shots of children playing undisturbed in the street, bent over marbles and their own scuffed shoes, a young boy asleep in the middle of a field, his friends climbing trees in the distance. They were mesmerising. To Rachel at least.

She paused at the final photo. It was beautiful, a woman smiling into the camera, her eyes dancing with mirth, her own golden hair flowing gently about her face.

It was simple. It was perfect. It was Quinn.

"That was a few years ago. The wrinkles are missing" joked Quinn lightly, peering over the shorter girls shoulder to see what she was looking at.

_If you have even one wrinkle on your face, I'll eat my Grammy._

Rachel shivered as the blonde's warm breath tickled her neck.

They stood for another few seconds, staring at the photograph, until Quinn moved away, leading Emily to the living room.

The brunette wanted to know who took the photo, but she wasn't going to ask, she just followed the two women into the room and took a seat beside Emily. She glanced around the room, it was cosy. That was the only word she could use to describe it. It felt homey and lived in.

A three piece set of chairs sat spread out along the room, the three seat facing the two seat, they were light cream covered with a beige shawl and purple pillows. Not exactly textbook, but they worked for this room. The pictures continued in here, all along the walls, giving the room a fuller look. A small glass coffee table sat between the two couches, magazines and pictures spread out across it. The brunette didn't spot any personal photos anywhere, maybe she kept them in her bedroom or in an album or something. As Quinn's bedroom occurred to her, she rechecked the room, searching for a sign of where it could be, she could spot the kitchen door easily enough, and one she distinguished as a closet, so that left one door that had to be the bedroom. She stared at it for a few moments before Quinn distracted her by sitting down.

Quinn sat opposite them with an expectant smile, waiting for one of them to speak.

Emily waited for Rachel to reveal why they were here, but she didn't, she merely sat there watching Quinn watch her.

Eventually the blonde cleared her throat and spoke, still gazing at the brunette.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of a meeting with Rachel Berry?"

The brunette rolled her eyes, already annoyed.

Emily couldn't help but stare at Rachel as well, she was curious too. She watched as the brunette shifted slightly before answering, her foot beginning to shake again.

"Have you called Gerry about terminating your contract yet?" the actress asked in a business-like tone.

"Not yet. I was actually going to call him today, before .." she gestured at them as way of explanation.

The brunette nodded and glanced at Emily, who was practically straining something to understand where this conversation was going.

"Emily would you mind waiting outside while I talk to Miss Fabray?"

The redhead looked disappointed but nodded her assent and quietly shuffled from the room.

"Whoa, your willing to be alone with me? This must be serious." Joked the blonde half-heartedly, she was slightly worried about what the brunette was getting at.

"Don't."

"What?"

"You heard me, don't pull out, do the movie."

The taller girl always shook her head. She settled for tilting it to the side and squinting at the brunette.

"Why?"

"Does there have to be a reason? Can't you just do what I ask?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Fine." The shorter girl relented.

"Here's the deal, I want to win that Oscar, you already know that of course. I've done a little digging and it seems your the right girl for the job, Gerry loves you, and your other movies have received nothing but praise. In short, your a good actress. I want this Oscar and you can help me get it."

The blonde tucked her hand under her chin and surveyed the brunette wearily.

"Cut the crap Rachel."

"I'm sorry?"

"There are a lot of great actors out there, some worse and some better than me. I'm sure if Gerry tried, he could replace me in a heartbeat, so what's this really about?"

"I've told you."

"If your not going to be honest, I don't see the point in helping you out." The taller girl replied, settling into the chair and crossing her arms defiantly.

Rachel huffed and mimicked the blonde's movements.

"I don't know what you want me to say here."

Quinn remained silent, examining her nails calmly, waiting for the brunette to speak.

"This is ridiculous, I've already given you my reasons for wanting you to do this movie, you don't want my advice? Fine! I'm leaving."

With that the shorter girl, stormed from the room, giving Quinn a strong sense of déjà vù as she remembered all the times the teenage Rachel Berry had turned the same trick.

The blonde sighed and held her hands in her face, maybe she was wrong.

"We have good chemistry .."

Quinn's head shot up and she saw Rachel standing in the doorway, shoulders slumped in defeat. The blonde didn't dare breathe.

"We have good chemistry, and ..I would feel more comfortable with you than with a stranger." Admitted the brunette in a small voice.

The blonde nodded.

"Why couldn't you just say that in the first place?"

"Because the last time I opened up to you, I got hurt."

The taller girl cringed, remembering.

"I'm sorry about the slushies Rachel."

The brunette nodded, turning to leave, the blonde gazing at her retreating form, which stopped just before the door, with her back still to Quinn the shorter girl took a deep breath and spoke.

"It wasn't the slushie that hurt."

And with that, she was gone.


	6. Of all the coffee shops in all the world

Rachel felt good, which was saying something. She usually spent her days in a near robotic state of numbness, doing things because she had to, answering people's questions with the right answers. But today was different, ever since Quinn Fabray had breezed so casually back into her life, she felt invigorated, like she needed to do something that mattered. The blonde had clearly moved on and was living her life, so why shouldn't she? She felt accomplished, like she had solved some puzzle that had been nagging her for a while now, had done what she needed to do, and nothing would stop her from getting that Oscar now.

The tiny brunette lay in bed, feeling refreshed, lighter than she had in a long time. She stretched with a sigh of contentment and bounced happily down the stairs wandering about the house looking for something to do, she was stir-crazy. How could she do something amazing when these walls restricted her. She eyed the excercise bike by the couch, maybe she'd break it out for old times sake.

Ugh effort.

She quickly decided against it, opting instead to go shopping. How she loved shopping.

She got showered, dressed and made up in record time, jumping into her car a half an hour later and making her way into the city. It's not like she hated LA, really she didn't. It just wasn't New York, where her heart was. She put up with living here because that's where the work was, but she went back to her land often enough. She spent last Christmas there with her two Dads, they came up to see her for a week here and week there, though not as much as she would like. She supposed it was partially her fault, she never went back to Lima, she couldn't.

When she left Ohio, she really left. No tearful goodbyes, no return trips, no burying a time capsule full of fond memories to come back and dig up when she was old and gray. No. The day she was driven to the airport to begin her new life in New York, she didn't look back, not at her childhood home, or the park where she had first been taunted for having two gay fathers, not even the McKinley High school, which had been both a haven and a prison.

_Goodbyes were also bypassed. No normal teenage scenes of a group of girls huddled together, crying and holding eachother, all swearing ferverently to write each other every day. Sometimes twice. As usual, Rachel's graduation day was everything but normal. _

_With Finn, the breakup had been too raw for him, he avoided her like the plague. She prefered it that way, she didn't want to have to pretend she was going to miss him. Puck and Santana had simply smirked at her, their way of showing emotion she supposed. It was a nice attempt all the same. Britanny, had hugged her, as did Tina. Both promising to stay in touch, that they would all visit eachother, remain friends. Needless to say, that didn't happen. Mercedes offered the brunette a fistbump and a cheery "ciya around Berry" before rolling Artie towards the place Tina stood waiting, the shy boy twisted slightly in his chair to give her a half-hearted wave. Ironically enough, Quinn was the only person that said goodbye, not with her words or even a text message. No, with her eyes. The brunette had been elbowing her way through the crowd, searching for her fathers, she had left them by the stage, both crying hysterically as their baby graduated of course. _

_The shorter girl didn't know what made her turn around, she had sworn that somebody had called her name, but when she did turn, she couldn't locate the source of the voice. That's when she saw Quinn, tall and elegant, standing between her parents as they bickered about something or other. She wasn't surprised, everybody knew how the blonde's parents acted. The brunette met the taller girls gaze neutrally. Their gazes remained locked for a few moments, both remembering their night of friendship at Puck's party. At least Rachel was. The blonde dropped her gaze for a moment, seemingly thinking something over, ignoring her fathers question. The brunette frowned, waiting, for what she wasn't sure._

_After what felt like an hour, the cheerleaders eyes slowly raised themselves to once more pierce the brunette's. Then she smiled._

_Rachel didn't know how to respond, the smile was wrong, all wrong. They were enemies, they hated each other, Quinn was the one that reminded her of it everyday, slushies, taunts, name calling. It didn't make any sense. It confused her. That smile said a lot of things Quinn never could, sorry and goodbye. _

_But that small, subtle smile, meant more to the brunette than all the other goodbyes put together. And so, even though it didn't make sense and it felt wrong. She smiled back. _

_Quinn disappeared after that, swept into the crowd. _

_And that was the day that Rachel left Lima forever. _

XX

The brunette reached the mall within ten minutes, she circled the lot, searching for her favourite parking space. She was a creature of habit. First row, seven across. To her annoyance, her space was already occupied, by a motorbike no less. A black shiny, dangerous looking motorbike.

She glared at the offending vehicle, before parking two spaces down, huffing at the injustice of it all. Everybody who was anybody knew that Rachel Berry parked there. Though judging by the look of it, the driver was probably some young guy who thought her was gods gift to the world.

Locking her car, she made her way to the front door, glaring at the bike again as she passed. She headed straight for the nearest shoe shop. Shoes did wonders for the soul, she had always believed that. She felt odd walking around by herself, usually she had Emily shadowing her, nattering away on the phone, shouting at people so Rachel wouldn't have to. Well, actually she usually took the calls because the brunette would make whoever it was cry and vow that they never work in the business ever again. Rachel Berry left a trail of destruction in her wake.

The tiny girl made her way into the shop and breathed deeply, smiling as the smell of leather hit her.

Down to business.

Two hours and ten boxes of ridiculously overpriced shoes later, the brunette collapsed in a nearby cafe, she shoved the bags safely beneath the table and grabbed the menu. She wanted a coffee, but not a normal coffee, she was on a roll today, she wanted something that suited her mood.

After a few minutes, she decided on a cup of green tea, sheerly out of curiosity as to how it would taste.

Abandoning her bags at the small table, she gracefully made her way to the counter, money at the ready. She placed her order and paid, then stood to the side, patiently awaiting her order. While she stood, she people watched, it was something that had entertained her since she had been a young girl.

"Green tea?"

The brunette frowned out the window, she had just seen a familiar whiff of blonde hair.

Quinn?

A second later, she was gone.

The tiny girl shook her head and wondered if she was seeing things.

"Green tea?"

The brunette jolted out of her haze and turned to accept the tea, just as she spotted the cup and grabbed it from the counter, she turned and collided with someone, hard.

"Oh I'm so sorry" she said immediately, watching in horror as her tea fell to the floor, slowly spilling everywhere.

She bent quickly to scoop up the cup and repair the damage.

A hand appeared from nowhere, handing her a bunch of tissues to help mop the puddle.

"Thanks." She said gratefully, beginning her assault on the tea.

"Your welcome."

The brunette's head immediately shot up at the voice.

Standing above her, grinning sheepishly was Quinn.

"Quinn? What are you doing here?"

"Same as you. Daily coffee fix" she admitted, holding up her own white plastic cup.

The brunette merely nodded, realizing how obvious the answer was.

"That was my fault by the way" she pointed at the wet tissues the brunette was still holding "I wasn't watching where I was going. Let me get you a new one"

The shorter girl nodded dumbly. Still in shock at Quinn's sudden appearance.

The blonde, turned to order and glanced back at Rachel frowning.

"What was it that you ordered?"

"Um.. Green tea."

The taller girl raised an eyebrow, amused, but otherwise decided not to comment. She accepted the tea and paid, telling them to keep the change.

Old Quinn would never have done that. Hell she would have batted her eyelashes to try and swing a free one.

Quinn handed the brunette the cup with a small smile.

"Thanks"

They stood uncomfortably for a few moments, having run out of things to say.

"Well I guess I better go, it was nice seeing you Rachel."

"I ..yeah. You too." Replied the shorter girl.

The blonde turned to leave and Rachel found herself frowning. She didn't want her to feel like she had to leave.

"Quinn .."

The taller girl turned with a questioning look.

"It's ..I have a table, you know if you want to ..join me?" she cringed at how it sounded, of course Quinn wouldn't want to have coffee with her.

The blonde smiled, surprised.

"I'd love to"

Rachel smiled and led the way to the small table, beside the window. They each took a seat and sipped their drinks, unsure of how this should work. Rachel decided she should start, after all she was the one who initiated this impromptu meeting.

"So filming begins next week, that should be interesting."

"I guess." The blonde replied unenthusiastically.

"You guess?"

"I'm kind of nervous about it" the taller girl admitted.

"But your a great actress Quinn?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow.

"From what I've heard from ..other people" the brunette backtracked quickly, not wanting to admit she had done a little research on her co-star.

"Thanks. But those roles were from relatively unknown movies, this movie is big. I mean, your in it so it must be" she joked good-naturedly.

The brunette snorted.

"I'm just saying that ..it's going to be getting a lot of attention and I want to do a good job."

"I don't think your giving yourself enough credit, I mean they obviously saw something in you that they liked, otherwise they wouldn't have offered you the part right?"

It just wouldn't do for Quinn to be nervous, this movie had to be perfect. That's why she was comforting her right now..yeah.

"I guess your right. It's just a little intimidating, I mean I've seen your movies. Your really good Rachel, and I'm not just saying that to make amends" replied the blonde, meeting the brunette's gaze.

The brunette smiled at the praise.

"It took a lot of work. I sort of let a role take me over, it's like when I sing. I become a different person." The shorter girl shrugged.

"I feel like I should be writing this down."

"I'll be happy to give you tips Quinn, my co-stars regularly ask for my assistance in such matters."

The blonde eyed her amused.

"What?" asked the brunette defensively.

"You sounded like you were giving a speech in Glee Club there."

Rachel huffed.

"You all needed those speeches, lest ye become lazy and complacent"

The blonde chuckled lightly, before looking down at her cup and sighing.

"I'm sorry Rachel."

"For what?"

"For everything. The slushies, the insults ..just everything."

The brunette looked at the blonde, she had wondered when this apology was coming.

"It's Ok."

The taller girl shook her head wonderingly.

"How can you just forgive me after all I put you through?"

"Oh I haven't forgiven you, not by a long shot." The brunette replied calmly.

"Then why all this .." the blonde asked, gesturing at them.

"Because you told me you changed. That you weren't the same person you used to be."

"That's true" replied the blonde, frowning.

"So I'm giving you a chance."

"But ..?"

"A chance. You don't need to complicate it."

The blonde closed her mouth and nodded.

"Ok then." Agreed the brunette.

They fell silent for a few moments before Quinn noticed something.

"What are you doing?" questioned the blonde curiously.

"Nothing" the shorter girl replied hastily, tearing her eyes away from the window.

"You people watch too?"

The brunette turned to face the blonde surprised.

"You do?"

The taller girl nodded with a small smile.

"I make up conversations between people."

"What do you mean?" the brunette asked confused.

Quinn smirked and shifted closer, pointing out the window to a couple arguing just outside the window.

She cleared her throat and deepened her voice comically.

"**No Martha, I do not want to join a swingers club"**

She then put on a high pitched girly voice to represent the middle-aged woman.

"**But Magnus, our sex life has become so boring lately!**

"**That doesn't mean that we need to join a swingers club!"**

"**So what do you suggest, because we already tried everything in the Karma sutra"**

"**Maybe we should buy some of those .." **she lowered her voice to a growl** "those sex things" **

Quinn wriggled her eyebrows much to the brunette's amusement.

"**Oh Magnus your right. I don't know what I was thinking. I love you"**

" **I love you too woman"**

Hilariously enough, the couple outside the window hugged and walked away hand in hand.

Rachel and Quinn collapsed in a fit of giggles, clutching the table for support.

"Oh ..my ..god" gasped the brunette delightedly. "Why didn't I ever think of that"

"Please, as if Rachel Berry has enough time for sitting down and making insane conversations up about people walking by.

The brunette snorted, trying to calm down.

"Maybe not now, but I am clearing my schedule for tomorrow" she joked, finally regaining the use of her voice.

Just then, Rachel's phone rang.

"See what I mean" the blonde joked lightly.

Rachel smirked and opened her phone. It was Emily, wondering where she was. A few moments later, she hung up and glanced unhappily out the window.

"I have to go" she admitted sadly.

"I understand." The blonde smiled.

The brunette looked at the smiling Quinn.

"I had fun today."

"Me too."

The shorter girl smiled in return, before grabbing a napkin and scrawling her number on it.

"Just in case you .." the brunette trailed off uncertainly.

"I'll call you" the blonde cut her off, stowing the napkin in her bag.

The actress beamed and stood.

"I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah you too."

Quinn watched the brunette leave and smiled.

The couple outside the window were now kissing.

**XX**

Rachel spent the rest of the day doing interviews and trying to calm down Emily, who had been so surprised to find the brunette's house empty that she considered calling the police, and the navy and anyone who would listen really.

She returned home late that night, swinging by McDonalds on her way. Her job meant that she rarely got to eat junk food, but she was feeling adventurous today. She got home and ate on the couch, watching whatever caught her eye and feeling oddly at peace with the world.

She had decided to rent another one of Quinn's movies and enjoyed it immensely. It was a genuine mystery as to how in the world the blonde would be insecure. The girl was gifted for sure.

As soon as the movie ended, the brunette yawned widely, finally feeling ready to sleep. The actress turned off the lights and climbed into bed, thinking about her conversation with Quinn. They could have been friends in High School, great friends even.

Just as she was about to fall asleep her phone buzzed.

She groaned and rolled over, grabbing her cell from the bedside table.

_**Do you think Martha and Magnus will be in the same place tomorrow? –Q**_

Rachel smiled and quickly sent a reply.

_**Could be. I guess we'll never know –R**_

She sat up, sure a reply would be fast. And she wasn't disappointed.

_**Unless .. –Q**_

Hmm.

_**Unless what? –R**_

Where was this going?

_**Unless we go there. Purely for exploratory reasons of course. –Q**_

Smooth Fabray.

_**Are you asking me to meet you for coffee? –R**_

Two can play at that game.

_**It depends are you saying yes? –Q**_

That's the million dollar question.

_**Change that coffee for a drink and you've got yourself a deal. –R**_

She didn't really like green tea anyway.

_**Deal. I'll see you tomorrow, good night Rachel : ) –Q**_

_**Goodnight, Quinn. –R**_

The brunette fell asleep with a smile on her face for the first time in a long time.


	7. Just one drink, right?

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews, favourite storys and story alerts. The more reviews I get the more I want to write so keep them coming please :)**

**XX**

Rachel had changed her outfit at least ten times in the space of an hour. She had applied and reapplied her make up no less than three times, and she had actually lost count of the amount of times she picked up the phone to text Quinn and tell her she couldn't make it, that something came up she couldn't get out of. The only thing that stopped her was the thought that Quinn would be disappointed if she didn't come, it sounded odd but Rachel Berry was still a people pleaser, she wanted people to like her. And judging by how lonely her existence was at the moment, she was in no position to pass up friends.

If Rachel was honest with herself, and she rarely was, she would have to admit that despite the nervousness she felt, she was actually looking forward to this da ..drink. Quinn had been so different yesterday, so mellow and carefree. It was a welcome change to the bitchy head cheerleader that's for sure. Rachel couldn't remember the last time she had seen the blonde smile so much, especially in her presence.

In High school, the taller girl would have a permanent scowl etched on her face, a warning to all, this bitch is in charge. It was that very scowl that Rachel had endured for so long.

Her mind wandered briefly to the picture in Quinn's apartment. The brunette felt that the snap represented the blonde's mindset right now. It was so natural and free. She still wondered who took it, obviously somebody who knew what they were doing.

_Not that Quinn Fabray could ever take a bad picture._

I mean seriously, nobody looks good in class photos, the whole process is designed to keep teenagers miserable and depressed, ever small box was homage to the disaster that was High school. Whenever picture time rolled around, Rachel would spend the entire day fixing her hair, perfecting her makeup and smoothening her outfit to within an inch of it's life, but even then the pictures came out bleak and sometimes scary.

Then there was Quinn, picture perfect. Not a hair out of place, proudly donning her cheerleading uniform, all capped off by a dazzling smile that seemed to sparkle right off the page.

And here was Rachel, about to meet her for a casual drink. She had a brief moment of panic.

_What if this is all a joke. Fake movie, fake friendship, fake Quinn. Oh dear god, I'm being Punk'd aren't I? Any moment now Ashton Kutcher is going to come running in my door brandishing a camera and yelling "gotcha!" isn't he!_

Just as this thought occurred to her, she glared at the locked bedroom door. Surely he wouldn't be stupid enough to mess with _the _Rachel Berry. Apparently he was.

The doorknob rattled and shook, breaking her out of her momentary staring competition. She gasped and scanned the room, looking for something to hit Aston with. She spied a high-heeled stiletto peeking out from under an earlier discarded dress and snatched it, pointing the heel at the door and trying to remember fight scenes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

_What would Buffy do?_

The handle finally turned and the door swung open. Rachel tensed and raised the shoe higher, holding her breath, ready to launch herself at the man-child.

_I don't remember his hair being this long .._

Then he spoke.

"Miss Berry?"

She jumped slightly.

"Emily?"

_Oh for the love of ..do people knock anymore?_

"Yes it's me. What are you doing with that shoe?" came the wary reply, who was eyeing the offending item with some fear.

"What this shoe? Oh, I was just getting ready to go out." She shrugged as though that would explain her strange behaviour.

"Oh yes, your drink with Quinn Fabray. Are you too friends now?" the redhead wondered aloud, they had seemed more like enemies at the restaurant meeting.

"Something like that." She muttered vaguely, finally lowering her make-shift weapon. "Can you help me?" she added miserably gesturing at the piles of clothes strewn about the room.

Emily beamed and rolled up her sleeves.

"I thought you'd never ask."

**XX**

"Wow" breathed Emily an hour and several tantrums later.

_Yeah, wow. Where has Emily been all my life._

"I look nice?" the brunette asked unsure.

"More than nice Miss Berry, your smoking! If i do say so myself" she added with a smirk.

Rachel had to agree. She felt beautiful.

Emily had selected a short black dress that hugged her lithe form. Apparently, the brunette had "killer legs" and she needed to "work them."

The outfit was completed with a modest pair of black diamond heels that made her legs seem even longer. Her hair was delicately curled and fell in long chestnut waves down her back and hugged her face. Her makeup, which consisted of smoky eye shadow and cherry lip-gloss perfectly set off her dark brown eyes.

All in all, Rachel felt amazing and it showed in her walk. She was used to people complimenting her on her looks and feeling flattered, but this was the only time she truly felt she deserved it.

"Your amazing Emily"

The red head beamed.

"I've always been interested in fashion, it was fun to have a willing model."

The brunette cocked her head and surveyed the dress again.

"From now on, you are my personal shopper. All fashion decisions shall be yours and yours alone."

Emily's eyes bugged out of her head.

"That is of course, assuming you want the job."

"Of course I want the job! Thank you Miss Berry."

"Call me Rachel."

"Thank you Rachel."

The brunette nodded her approval.

"Your welcome" she smiled warmly, "Is the car outside, I wouldn't want to keep Quinn from checking out my "killer legs" " she winked cheekily.

**XX**

Rachel arrived at the bar at seven o clock on the dot. They had both decided on a small but charming bar on the outskirts of the city. Rachel didn't want to run the risk of the paparazzi following their every more.

She breezed into the bar, ignoring several gawping faces and immediately her eyes sought Quinn.

The blonde, who had been sitting near the back in a secluded booth saw her first and waved her over.

Rachel gracefully made her way to the table and sat down. Then her jaw dropped.

Quinn looked absolutely amazing. Her hair was also curly, falling over her shoulders in a stream of silky softness. The shorter girl wanted to touch it, but resisted the urge. That would be weird. She was wearing a mid-length cream dress that fell just above the knee and dipped dangerously low at the front.

"Rachel?" said the blonde eyeing her nervously, she hadn't spoken or moved at all for a whole minute.

_Oh crap ..I'm staring!_

"Quinn hi sorry! I was just lost in ..thought. You look amazing Quinn."

The taller girl blushed profusely.

"You can't compliment me when your sitting there looking like _that. _I mean god Berry, if I knew that's what was hidden under all that argyle .." she trailed off unsure of how to finish the sentence.

Thankfully, Rachel took pity on her and smiled.

"Now that we have established how hot we both are" joked Quinn "time for a drink?"

Rachel nodded her agreement and they flagged down a passing waiter.

"Yes I'll have a vodka and coke please" said Quinn sweetly before turning to see what Rachel would order.

"I'll have the same" the waiter nodded and quickly jotted down their orders "and a shot of tequila please" she added quickly.

"What?" she asked in response to Quinn's raised eyebrow, "It helps me relax, which we may need tonight. It is us after all."

The blonde considered it.

"Good point. Make that two." She shouted after the retreating waiter who waved to say he understood.

"So how has your day been?" Quinn asked conversationally.

Rachel had a sudden flashback of herself holding the stiletto and waiting to attack.

"Oh you know, nothing exciting just stayed home really. You?" she replied as their drinks arrived and she took a small sip.

"The same as you. Except well, I spoke to Santana for a little while"

The brunette choked on her drink.

"S-Santana's here?"

"No, no!" replied the taller girl alarmed at the brunette's reaction "On the phone, she lives in New York ..with Brittany."

Rachel relaxed now that she knew the Latina wasn't within a hundred mile radius of them.

"Brittany huh? So their still inseparable I suppose?"

"You could say that .." Quinn smiled fondly. "They actually got married last year."

Rachel choked again. She had to stop drinking while Quinn was talking.

"They WHAT!"

"Sssh, keep your voice down" whispered the blonde surprised.

The brunette looked around, sure enough the whole place were eyeing them warily.

"Sorry ..I just ..what?"

Quinn smirked a little.

"Oh come on, your telling me that you didn't notice how close they were in High school?"

"Well no. I mean yes of course I did, but I thought they were just experimenting of something. I mean Santana and Puck .." she trailed off confused.

Quinn shook her head.

"Puck and Santana never actually had sex, she used him as her cover story and he got to pretend he was sleeping with a cheerleader. Win, win."

"Oh, well that certainly explains a lot."

Rachel had often caught Santana glaring at Puck when she thought nobody else was looking.

"But, wait, what about Brittany and Artie was he in on this little charade too?"

The blonde frowned, remembering the unlikely relationship.

"Actually no, that was real, they dated. Though Brit never slept with him, he just told Tina that to make her jealous. Brittany got tired of pretending so she figured if she made Santana jealous enough, that they could become a proper couple."

Rachel was still confused.

"But Brittany and Artie broke up and they never came out?"

"B loved her too much Rachel. She couldn't stand seeing San so unhappy, so she agreed to wait until after graduation to tell their parents."

"That's sweet. "said Rachel, locking eyes with Quinn. "I mean loving someone so much for that long and not being able to tell anyone about it."

"Yeah" agreed the blonde, returning her gaze.

Somebody beside them coughed and they broke eye contact.

"So ..what about everyone else?" asked Rachel breaking the silence.

"Well Artie and Tina got married and had two kids, they still live in Lima. I talk to Tina from time to time they seem happy. "

Rachel smiled, glad the couple had finally found each other again.

The blonde grinned in return before continuing.

"Finn moved to Boston with his girlfriend, last I heard they were engaged and planning on getting a bigger house together. Mercedes lives with Kurt and Blaine in New York. The three of them have had some small Broadway parts and they've just been offered a record deal.

"That's great!" enthused the brunette, ashamed that she had never even tried to regain contact.

"Yeah, it is. And then there's Puck.." she trailed off snorting.

"Oh come on what is he doing? Selling used cars?" the brunette prompted.

"He's still living in Lima and he's married."

Rachel's eyebrows shot up in disbelief.

Quinn laughed at her expression.

"That's not even the weird part."

_Ok, I'll bite Fabray._

"What's the weird part?" she wondered, still in shock that somebody had managed to tame Puckerman.

"His wife is Lauren Zizes."

**XX**

"and then he got sick all over Santana's brand new car!" the blonde gasped out between laughs.

Rachel slammed her drink on the table and howled with laughter.

"oh my god what did she do to Puck?" she slurred, trying to keep Quinn in focus, she was seeing double.

Not that she _minded _seeing double of Quinn.

_Wait ..what?_

"She threw him out, robbed all his clothes and made him walk home in his underwear!" the taller girl snorted adorably, her hair falling into her face as she studied her empty glass wondering where her alcohol kept disappearing too.

Then she looked at Rachel who was actually slapping the table in-between bouts of laughter.

"I think I'm gone dry" she giggled tipping her glass upside down to prove her point.

"Well that just won't do, we need to get you wet" replied the brunette already raising a hand to call the waiter over. Then she froze.

"I didn't ..I didn't mean that" she blinked guiltily.

Quinn who had been attempting to hold in the laughter suddenly exploded. Her ribs were killing her and she could barely breathe. She was actually bent double trying to get some oxygen into her lungs.

"Berry you perv" she giggled still unable to catch a breath.

Rachel was just about to plead her innocence when she felt a smirk coming on.

"Oh shut up Fabray, you know you love it."

The blonde immediately stopped laughing, eyeing the brunette in disbelief.

"W-what?"

Rachel couldn't hold her poker face any longer and descended into hysterics, falling back on the chair and bringing the table cloth with her, causing Quinn to crack a smile.

"oh very funny Berry, I'll get you back."

The brunette wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"How about you scratch my back and I scratch yours?"

Quinn smacked her lightly on the arm.

"Ow."

"You deserved it. Now be quiet, I think they want to throw us out of here" the blonde tried to whisper and failed miserably, she practically shouted the sentence.

Rachel glanced at the bar, sure enough the staff were all gathered together muttering and pointing at them.

As if we can't see you pointing morons.

"They can't kick me out. I'm Rachel Berry!"

The blonde snorted at the indignant tone.

"Oh come on Barbara, let's go to a club. I feel like dancing!"

**XX**

A half hour and yet more alcohol (Quinn had managed to sneak their drinks into the cab from under her dress, something she learned from April Rhodes no doubt.) and the girls were standing outside Angel Lane. The cue was a mile long and Rachel huffed importantly before dragging a giggling Quinn to the top of the line.

"Evening boys" she purred seductively, or what she thought was seductive, "any chance you could let me and my friend here in" she gestured at the blonde who was bowing and curtseying to the amused crowd.

The bounced looked hesitant so Rachel moved in for the kill.

"Look I don't want to make a big deal over this or anything, but we're famous and we want to party so kindly step aside."

The beefier bouncer on the left squinted at her.

"Rachel Berry?"

Ahhh, a fan.

"The one and only" she winked at him.

"My girlfriend loves all your movies and she has everything you have ever sang" he exclaimed, shocked that she was stand in front of him.

"That's so sweet. I'd be happy to sign something for her if you let me inside" she hinted, now struggling to keep Quinn in the same spot.

"Of course, of course. Right this way Miss Berry." He ushered them inside.

"Thank you" she grinned before dragging the blonde through the door.

After signing a piece of paper for him and promising him she would return to the big screen soon, Rachel set off in search of Quinn, the blonde could certainly pull a Houdini when she wanted too. She had vanished into thin air ten minutes ago and was yet to reappear.

She checked the bar first, nope. Next she checked the toilets, double nope. That left only one place to search.

The brunette made her way unsteadily to the dance floor and immediately spotted Quinn twirling and dancing in the centre of a group of salivating guys.

As soon as she spotted Rachel, the blonde latched onto her for dear life.

"Help me, these guys do not understand the meaning of the word "no" " she whispered frantically.

The brunette wrapped her arms around the taller girls waist and pulled her close.

Quinn blinked and then put her arms around the shorter girls neck.

"Thanks for keeping my girlfriend warm boys" winked Rachel cheekily.

Quinn giggled into her shoulder.

"Whoa, that is hot!" said one guy who looked as if all his Christmases had come at once.

"Yeah, well I'm not buying it" said another who looked a lot like Finn, he even had the same moronic tone to his voice.

"You hear that baby?" the brunette said loudly "they don't believe us"

She felt Quinn giggle again and pushed her back just enough to meet her gaze.

"Guess we'll just have to show them"

Rachel closed her eyes and leaned forward, expecting to place a chaste kiss on the blonde's lips, what she wasn't expecting was for the other girl to meet her with so much enthusiasm that she took her breath away.

Rachel's brain disengaged and she was there, kissing her back, running her tongue along Quinn's soft warm lips and begging for entry. The blonde moaned and opened her mouth, granting Rachel access, the brunette gently sucked her bottom lip before sliding her tongue inside, they weren't battling for dominance, they were getting acquainted, memorising ever last touch and taste.

Their tongues locked in a dance, twisting and swirling, breaking away then coming together more forceful each other.

Rachel ran her hands up the blonde's sides, coming to a rest at the base of her neck where she fisted the golden locks, running her fingers through the delicate softness she found. She imagined that this must be how it felt like to touch a cloud.

The brunette felt Quinn's hands circling random patterns on her back and forgot everything.

She forgot that she was Rachel Berry. She forgot that she was in a club full of gawping people. She forgot the stupid boys who had led her to this moment.

She forgot everything but Quinn.


	8. Memory, what memory?

**A/N: Soo, I've been stalking Lchat as usual and saw that a few people wanted a quicked update, I am more than happy to oblige, especially when I know that people are having as much fun reading this as I am writing it. I am a complete softy so I decided to throw a chapter together before I hit the hay just for y'all.**

**Ps. In keeping with this sappiness, I would like to dedicate this story to the love of my life, and my inspiration.**

**XX**

Quinn woke up to a thumping headache, sore throat, and felt like her eyes were hanging somewhere around her ankles. She was vaguely aware that she should get up and take some painkillers, but knowing and doing are completely different things. She kept her eyes closed shut, trying to block the world out for just a little while longer. Her head however had other ideas.

_**Thump.**_

Ugh.

_What the hell happened last night? Why did it feel like little tiny men with drums had taken up residence in her brain?_

She felt a hundred years old, or as old as a dinosaur, they are pretty damn old. She used to be able to jump out of bed after a heavy night of drinking with a smile on her face, ready to face the world, not a hangover in sight. Now she felt like sleeping the entire next day after a couple glasses of wine, it was pathethic, she was twenty six not seventy. Hell even seventy year olds were doing better than her these days, scooting by in their high-tech wheelchairs and flashy spectacles, mocking her as she struggled valiantly by on foot. The next time she would put a stick in their wheels, see how you like it then grandma.

She snuggled tighter into her pillow and tried to put the pieces together. She had been at a bar with Rachel Berry, of that she was sure, she had marked it in her calendar because, well that's just how lame she was. And because, how in the world could anyone forget a dress like that. The way it just seemd to hug every inch of her ..

_Umm..moving swiftly on .._

She vaguely recalled the two of them giving the other customers an inpromtu performance of Bust a move complete with their own freestyle chorepgraphy moves. Schuester would be impressed, Mike Chang however would probably beat their asses for tainting the art of dance with their drunken flails. She should never be left out on the town again, scratch that she should never be left outside the door of her house ever again. She should be confined to a small metal cage in a basement somewhere and drip fed nothing but Journey songs until she gnawed off her own arm to drown the torture out.

Maybe that was going a little too far.

Then again, she also remembered screaming at the waiter that the ladies toilets had run out of toilet paper and she had, had to "shake herself dry"

Rachel had got quite a few laughs out of that one. That is until, she also had to answer the call of nature and came out minutes later with the newly stocked paper towels dangling from a high-heeled boot. Quinn had let her get as far as halfway through the crowded pub before bursting into laughter and elbowing the people beside her to draw their attention to the hilarity of the situation.

Needless to say, that couple enjoying their anniversary dinner promptly left the bar in disgust.

Or maybe it didn't go far enough. Maybe she should be offered up as sacrifice to Sue Sylvester, she could be the woman's new assistant, cleaning all the cheerio's dirty laundry, polishing the extensive trophy collection, removing naked butt sweat marks from the chair in her office. All the while hiding her drunken shame in the one town where everybody was just as bad as each other. Maybe it could be like a family bonding session, her mother and father would drink scotch until they passed out and Quinn would knock by her vodka until she was once again dancing to novelty rap.

This was not looking good, and those were only the parts she remembered, she was scared of the missing pieces that were tucked away somewhere, only to resurface when she was in the middle of something important, like working. Yeah that would be it, she would be working on a scene, or maybe doing an interview for some high profile magazine and out of nowhere the memory would hit her and she would remember and promptly proceed drop everything she was doing to curl up into a ball and die of embarassment. The press would get a kick out of that.

_**Quinn Fabray collapses in photo shoot, sources say she was humming Gold digger and attempting to dance the robot.**_

She couldn't decide if she wanted to know what happened or not. The expression "the truth will set you free" didn't really apply to the situation. It was more like, "the truth shall come back to bite thee in the ass". Goddamn alcohol, she was giving it up. No really, she could do this, she would go to meetings, introduce herself as a recovering alcoholic, meet nice people named Sally who had twelve children and used them as beggars to fuel her cocaine habit. And hey after a year she would get a nifty sobriety chip, she could put it on her keys or something. It might even be a nice conversation starter, meeting a random stranger in the frozen foods section of the supermarket, fighting over the last bag of peas when suddenly you see their chip swaying on their keychain, you find out he's a recovering heroin addict and has been for the past three years. He wins, so you hand over the bag of frozen peas.

She was rambling, she needed to get up, the coffee machine was practically screaming her name.

The blonde cracked one eye open and blinked, everything was white. Realizing that she was lying face down on her pillow, she closed her eye and rolled to the side. She was going to do this quickly, like ripping off a band-aid, quick and painless.

She opened both eyes at the same time and blinked in rapid succession, her eyes adjusting to the harsh light invading the room. She hastily wiped them and tried again, success. She could see again! Look there was her bed, and her TV, and her photo of Rachel Berry, and her lamp and –

_Wait ..what? Why the hell is there a picture of Rachel Berry in __**my **__room?_

Quinn's eyes immediately shot back to the photo, there was no mistaking that megawatt smile, there was Berry in all her glory, smiling up at the camera as though she hadn't a care in the world.

_Ok let's think about this logically Quinn, either Rachel Berry has somehow managed to break into your house and leave a photo of herself on your bedside table, or else ...your not in your house, which must mean .._

"Morning."

The blonde jumped violently at the unexpected sound and fell out of the bed, landing on the cold wooden floor with a flump.

"Oh my god Quinn I didn't mean to startle you, are you okay?" asked the bewildered brunette, hurriedly helping a flailing Quinn back to her feet.

"I'm fine! I'm good, I just ..why am I at your house?"

The brunette let out a sigh of relief and then frowned.

"I'm not sure"

"What do you mean your not sure"

"What do you mean, what do I mean? I mean I'm not sure. I can barely remember anything from last night."

The blonde sighed and resumed her place on the bed. It was so warm and comfortable, like her own private cocoon.

"Yeah I know what you mean, I'm getting small flashbacks and let me tell you, they are not pretty"

The brunette cringed and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I know I've been getting them too, the last thing I remember is you loading us into a taxi and pulling these two glasses out from under your dress." She scrunched her eyebrows adorably trying to remember "I think you stole them" she finally finished with wide eyes.

Quinn snorted, she had never so much as robbed a candy bar in her entire life.

"You did too."

She raised an eyebrow at the brunette's reply.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not times infinity."

"Did too times infinity plus on- ..oh for goodness sake Quinn we are not five years old."

"Well I'm not" she mumbled.

Rachel decided to ignore the blonde in her quest to make her remember what she had done.

"Look I had just gone to get us the drinks when I realized that my wallet was still at our table, I told the waiter that I would be right back with the money and that's when you pulled a Winona and then waddled out the door screaming "screw your birthday cake April Rhodes got two bottles up here" "

"And then I flagged the nearest taxi and pushed you inside! Oh my good I remember now" exclaimed Quinn, covering her mouth in horror.

"What the hell is wrong with me"

"Don't beat yourself up, some people just can't handle their alcohol that well." Smirked the brunette, watching the mortified blonde send a scowl her way.

"Berry you have got to be kidding me"

"What?" she replied confused.

Quinn rolled her eyes and turned to face the smaller girl with a smirk of her own.

"Are you honestly saying that you don't remember your little pole dancing session last night?"

The brunette shook her head.

"Your lying."

"Am not."

Rachel rolled her eyes and Quinn relented.

"Ok fine, I'll refresh your memory. We came up with a game where we each have to swing a free drink off the ugliest looking waiter in the place, I had just received my free drink by giving one guy my phone number"

Rachel opened her mouth to interrupt.

"Fake number"

The brunette closed her mouth and nodded, wondering what the hell she had done to get hers.

"Well you decided that you wanted your free drink so you started giving this rather obese waiter with sweat patches a lap dance, don't worry you didn't actually touch him, you used a pole."

"Well that's a relief. Sort of."

Quinn giggled at the brunette's expression.

"Wait I don't remember there being any poles there?" the shorter girl questioned.

The blonde giggled harder than ever as she replayed the scene in her head.

"Well there wasn't, you had to improvise."

The brunette's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What do you mean "improvise" "

"Well ..there was this old guy sitting a few seats down from us, he had a cane .."

Rachel's eyes bugged out of her head and she practically choked on thin air.

"I lap danced using a senior citizen's cane?"

"Not quite."

The actress huffed at Quinn, she was being infuriating with all these cliff-hangers.

"Well then what happened?"

"He didn't want to let go, so you two sort of had a tug of war."

Rachel had to ask.

"Who won?"

"He did. I distracted you by telling you that your free drink had arrived."

"Oh."

In reality, Quinn had bought the drink and pretended that it was free and the brunette had earned it fair and square. And to be honest, she did, not that many people would go to those lengths for a lousy shot of tequila. Same old Rachel Berry, never backs down from a challenge. That was one of the things that Quinn had found so endearing about her. Even in high school.

A comfortable silence settled around them and they studied each other quietly, each wondering why the hell they had never been friends in High School, clearly it would have been a blast.

It was then that Quinn remembered

_Oh yeah, I was a bitch._

"Rachel?"

"Hmm?"

"We didn't do anything..stupid last night did we, I mean besides the stealing and attacking old people bit. It's just ..I can't remember anything after that taxi ride, it's kinda unnerving."

Rachel knew what she meant.

"I agree, it is slightly uncomfortable to think that we were so trashed we can't even remember half of the night."

Quinn frowned, trying to remember, all she was getting was flashes of blaring lights and distant music, nothing solid so far.

_Oh well, I'm sure if it was important I would have remembered it._

"At least we're home safe and sound. Well, in your home that is."

Rachel nodded her agreement then brightened up.

"Want some breakfast? I for one could eat a .." she searched for the right word to finish the sentence. "A ..table."

"Seriously?"

"What? I'm a vegan I can't just go around saying I want to eat a horse."

"That doesn't make you a wood chipper Berry."

"Whatever let's just go downstairs."

The blonde rolled out of bed for the second time and followed the shorter girl through the door.

They were almost to the bottom of the stairs when the brunette spoke over her shoulder.

"A gingerbread house?"

Quinn smirked.

"Well it's better than table."


	9. Truth or Dare?

Authors note: Sorry that I haven't updated in a while but I have also been busy squeeing at the awesomeness that was the Extra video. So much Achele *insert happy face gif here* Anyways I decided to throw a chapter down just so I wouldn't get burned at the stake lol.

In the next few chapters I'm thinking of writing a dinner reunion type thing with all the Glee clubbers, let me know what you think.

XX

Rachel sighed and softly shut the door leaning her forehead against the cool glass, Quinn had just left and she missed her already. No she missed her presence, not her. She was just bored that's all, she needed something to occupy her mind.

She wanted to do something, maybe she should call Jesse, they hadn't spoken in awhile and she missed hearing his voice, even if he was slightly snooty. She knew that he was a good person, he had just been hurt in the past, even by her.

The brunette snorted as she remembered the three weeks they had spent dating, he came out to her in college. She had already known, he had more Barbara Streisand posters than she had, at first she was puzzled and then she decided to observe him, she started noticing the little things that sent her gaydar into overdrive. For one, he used more product in his hair than Mr Schuester and Kurt combined, and he cried throughout ever single movie they watched together, including the horrors. He was gay. He was _so _gay.

She picked up the phone just as it started to ring. She nodded to her herself.

I see my sixth sense is still finely tuned.

"Hello?"

"Good morning Miss Berry, how do you feel?"

"I told you Emily call me Rachel. And in answer to your question, i feel like a dump truck has backed over me. Twice."

"That bad?"

"I'm not finished."

"Oh well please continue then."

Thank you.

"I feel like a dump truck has backed over me twice, and that somebody has ripped off my head and used it as a bowling ball also using my limbs as the pins, until little birds begin circling my head and mocking me with their sprightly chirping. Does that answer your question sufficiently?"

Emily sounded like she was trying not to laugh, she settled for making a sympathetic noise down the phone to appease the pity-seeking brunette.

"Yes Rachel, I believe it does. Aside from the painful-sounding hangover, how was your night?"

Rachel paused, trying to find the right words to describe how she felt.

"It was ..nice." she finally mumbled, gazing at the wall in thought.

"That's good." Came the vague reply from Emily who sounded as though she was typing something out while she spoke.

Well look at her multi-tasking la di dawh.

Rachel frowned uncertainly. She hadn't said it right.

"No."

Emily glanced at the phone confused.

"No it wasn't nice, well it was nice it's just .." she struggled for a moment trying to figure out what she wanted to say, eventually she smiled.

"Emily have you ever ..ever just gone out with someone and you just click. Like you've been friends your whole life. That's what it's like, it's so comfortable so _familiar, _like you have nothing to worry about. She has this presence that just .. I don't know, like she eases your troubles, you feel guilty if your not smiling when your with her. I forget where I am ..who I am, and all I can focus on is how happy I am in that moment, you know?"

The redhead fell silent, listening to the steady breathing on the other end.

"And Quinn makes you feel like that?"

Rachel's quick intake of breath told Emily that she had forgotten that she had a listener. Eventually she heard a small cough.

"Yeah, she does."

XX

Rachel replaced the phone on the coffee table after speaking to Emily and resumed her seat on the couch, glancing at the clock and sighing.

It's only six o clock and I'm already climbing the walls in boredom. I am bored out of my goddamn mind!

Just as she was seriously contemplating calling Emily back just to have someone to talk to, she felt her phone buzz in her jeans pocket and rolled to her left, gently easing the tiny device from the pocket. She smiled as she saw who the sender was.

Are you as bored as I am right now? –Q

She read my mind.

That depends. How bored are you? –R

I'm watching my third re-run of friends in the space of two hours. –Q

Oh my.

Oh my god, you must be bored. How do you propose we solve this dilemma?-R

Rachel was getting excited to see what Quinn would come up with. She didn't seem like the type to go for the obvious dinner and a movie solution.

Hmm ..I think I just might have the very thing to save us. –Q

The brunette smiled.

And I don't suppose you want to let me in on this plan of yours? –R

Nope. I'll kidnap you at seven, that cool? –Q

Rachel snorted at the blonde's playfulness.

Kidnap me? I'll go willingly to get away from this banality. See you soon. :) –R

But kidnapping is so much more fun! I'm counting the minutes ;) –Q

The brunette blushed, she had always been a sucker for winky faces, they were just so ..suggestive.

Nevertheless, she quickly bounded upstairs determined to make herself look presentable.

And hour later, and the brunette was dancing nervously by the front door, awaiting Quinn's arrival. She had opted for a slightly more casual look than last night, donning a pair of figure hugging jeans and a low cut black top, one of her favourites.

She couldn't explain why she was so nervous, she knew the moment that door opened Quinn would act as her own personal drug, calming her until she felt constantly giddy and content, it was intoxicating.

Just as she was checking her reflection in the back of a candlestick holder, the doorbell rang signalling the blonde's arrival and she hastily made her way to the door.

Flinging it open, she immediately beamed at Quinn, who like her had worn jeans and a light cream top that suited her perfectly.

"Hi" smiled the shorter girl, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Hi yourself." Came the reply.

"So are you ready to go?"

"Almost. Come inside for a second I just have to grab my purse from upstairs." Replied the brunette practically dragging the blonde over the threshold and pushing her towards the couch.

"I'll be right back, make yourself comfortable!"

Quinn chuckled at the brunette's enthusiasm and took a seat on the admittedly comfortable couch, surveying her surroundings with interest, she hadn't taken a proper snoop that morning, she had been way to groggy to even think about inspecting further than the kitchen where she had the nicest pancakes known to man.

Her eyes fell upon a familiar box and she immediately stood up, making her way towards the TV.

"So this mystery location isn't muddy is it because I just bought these shoes and I'm rather fond of them. I also firmly believe that there should be advance warning for situations such as these before I dress inappropriately or –" the brunette stopped short, half-way into the living room, as she caught sight of Quinn crouched beside her TV. She appeared to be holding something.

"Quinn?"

"Do you enjoy seeing me half-naked rolling around in my underwear?"

"What are you-?" Rachel's eyes widened comically as Quinn held the DVD aloft smirking.

"I didn't enjoy ..I mean I did enjoy the movie, not your underwear, not that your underwear isn't ..attractive it's just .."

"Whoa, whoa Rachel breathe. I was just teasing you, I'm actually flattered that you've even heard of any of my movies. I thought that after High School you just blocked me out, ignored any sign of me or what I was doing." The blonde admitted sadly.

Rachel eyed Quinn, sensing her mood.

"Quinn, while I may not have had your phone number or remained in contact with you, I assure you that I knew exactly what you had done with your life. I knew that you were an actress and I knew roughly where you lived, which is a lot more than I can say for my other former Glee clubbers put together."

Quinn looked up and met the brunette's gaze.

"Why did you keep tabs on me? Why not anybody else?"

Good question. Why did she have to ask me that, I don't know okay I just did it!

"Honestly, I don't know Quinn. I just always had this need to know if you had escaped from Lima like I had. Just morbid curiosity I guess."

Quinn nodded, indicating she understood, she did the same with Rachel.

"I have all your movies."

The brunette blushed at Quinn's sudden confession.

"Really?"

"Absolutely, I always knew that you were going to make it Rachel, and so did everybody else. Their actually sort of proud of you. I know I am."

Rachel snorted.

"I find it highly unlikely that Santana is proud of me."

"She actually has your entire CD collection hidden in a box underneath her bed."

Rachel's eyes widened in disbelief.

"No way!"

"Oh yes, and the only reason I know that is because Brittany found them one day when she was looking for her pink fluffy handcuffs and looked under the bed. Brittany actually has a life-size poster of you that she talks too."

"Well that's ..flattering I guess."

The blonde merely smiled, allowing the brunette time to collect her thoughts.

After a few moments, Quinn cleared her throat and glanced at the shocked brunette.

"So are you ready for this mystery plan" she wriggled her eyebrows cheekily.

Rachel giggled and gestured to the door.

"Lead the way Fabray!"

XX

"Ok are you ready for the big reveal?" the blonde giggled, holding her hands carefully over the brunette's eyes and leading her inside the small building.

"Yes, yes show me!" the brunette practically squealed, slightly unnerved by her lack of vision, this was still Quinn Fabray after all let's hope there were no man-holes nearby.

The blonde positioned Rachel just right and tried to beat box out a drum roll, which failed miserably causing Rachel too practically snort into her hand.

"Ok on my countdown ..three ..two ..one"

The blonde lifted her hands quickly and the brunette gasped she couldn't believe it.

"Oh my god you brought me to a .."

Quinn nodded excitedly, her eyes never leaving Rachel's.

"A karaoke bar! Quinn how did you know that I love karaoke bars!"

The blonde merely gave her an "are you serious look".

"Okay maybe it was kind of obvious but ..nobody has ever brought me to one before. I'm a karaoke virgin" she lowered her voice to a whisper and glanced around as though somebody would throw her out.

"Well you love to sing and I love to hear you sing so I thought this was a perfect solution, I'm glad your happy. How about a drink?"

The brunette nodded and they both made their way to the small bar at the opposite side of the room.

"Two shots of tequila please" shouted the blonde, making herself heard over the loud din.

The brunette nodded her agreement.

"Your a fast learner"

"Something to take the edge off"

"Don't tell me head bitch Quinn Fabray is nervous? Oh I forgot your not that person anymore" teased the shorter girl accepting the shot the blonde handed her.

Quinn quirked an eyebrow and downed hers in one, licking her licks appreciatively.

"Oh don't worry I'm still the head bitch when I want to be ..Berry."

Rachel watched Quinn walk away with a small smile gracing her features, why did she have the feeling that when she woke up tomorrow she would have memory loss again.

But that didn't stop her from swallowing the bitter alcohol and trailing after Quinn. A bus couldn't have stopped her.

She found the blonde in question moments later, sitting at a table near the front with two more shots of tequila awaiting the brunette's arrival.

Where the hell did she get them shots from?

Rachel took a seat and eyed the alcohol warily.

"Where did you get them?"

Quinn picked up her glass and winked.

"April Rhodes remember?"

The brunette chuckled and immediately stopped worrying, it would do her no good, not when she was already fighting a smile.

"Hooligan" she muttered half-heartedly before downing her own.

She had a feeling this was going to be one of _those _nights.

XX

"Raachel why are you swaying?"

The brunette lifted her head from it's place on the table and squinted at the blonde.

"What?"

"I said ..wait what did I say? Oh yeah, why are you swaying? It's like your on a ship, haha your a pirate!"

"Quinn I am no such thing! And I am not swaying, you are and have been for several hours now."

The blonde smiled vaguely.

Nice try Berry.

"You seem to be mistaken Berry, your the one who is swaying, I am sitting perfectly still, I mean look at me!"

Rachel watched as Quinn swung dangerously from side to side, still convinced that she was as still as a statue.

"Your swaying cause your drunk Fabray"

"I've only had two drinks!"

"Yeah in the last twenty minutes, how many did you have before then hmm?"

Quinn fell silent with a pout.

"Oh now don't pout, it isn't very lady like" the brunette giggled, attempting to lift the blonde's lips into a smile but poking her in the eye instead.

"Ouch!"

"What happened? Who is it?"

"Rachel you poked me in the eye"

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did, just now you reached out and poked me in the eye. I can't believe it."

"You have me confused with someone else."

"I saw you!"

"How could you see if your eye was all poked?"

Quinn pondered this for a moment.

"Rachel your right, I'm sorry I guess I was just confused."

"Apology accepted. Now can we sing a song?"

"Suuureee let's go!"

The two girls scrambled on stage in the middle of someone else's song and wrested the microphone from his terrified grasp.

"Don't worry I'm a professor I know what I'm doing" declared the brunette sizing up the DJ as she spoke, wondering if he was up to the challenge of playing her song choice.

"She means professional, she is a professional" clarified Quinn who was also giving the young DJ the stink eye until he blushed and looked away.

"You there" slurred the brunette, pointing at a spot a full metre away from the terrified DJ.

He looked around bewildered.

"She's talking to you punk" explained the blonde , she was having the time of her life.

"Y-yes?" he answered with wide eyes.

"Me and my ..friend here" she indicated Quinn who blew him an imaginary kiss which Rachel drunkenly intercepted and pretended to put into her pocket for later. "We want to do a duet, are you able to work with us here?"

He nodded, eyes transfixed on the heavy microphone swinging through the air as she stumbled.

"What song are we doing?" asked Quinn, realizing they hadn't discussed this crucial matter.

"Don't worry I got this" smirked the brunette, as she leaned towards the DJ to whisper her request, he simply nodded, immediately beginning to sift through the stack of songs in front of him.

"Positions!" cried the brunette before wobbling dangerously and using Quinn as a leaning post.

"Oops sorry Quinn"

"That's okay let's do this thing" came the excited reply, she wondered what the song could be.

The opening chords began to play and a small smile crept across Quinn's face as Rachel entered "diva mode"

The next thing she knew Rachel was facing her, their eyes locked as she sang the opening lines.

Now I've had the time of my life  
No I never felt like this before  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
and I owe it all to you

Brown eyes locked with hazel as Quinn sang he part, so choked up with emotion that she didn't know if the words would come out.

'Cause I've had the time of my life  
and I owe it all to you

Rachel smiled and turned to face the crowd, but found herself searching for Quinn's eyes once more as the song continued.

I've been waiting for so long  
Now I've finally found someone  
To stand by me

The brunette pointed at Quinn and giggled as the crowd started to join in, they hadn't expected the singing of two drunken girls to be this good. Both of them sang the next verse, gazes locked once more.

Now with passion in our eyes  
There's no way we could disguise it secretly  
So we take each other's hand  
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

Rachel reached out and grabbed the blonde's hand pretending to swoon as the crowd whistled and cat-called. It didn't matter, they couldn't take their eyes off each other, they tuned everything thing out, it was just them and the music, they were sixteen again. Quinn sang the next bit, firmly gripping Rachel's hand as though it was her lifeline.

So I'll tell you something This could be love because

Their voices came together, melding into one another perfectly as though they had been doing this all their life.

Cause I had the time of my life  
And I've searched through every open door  
Till I've found the truth  
and I owe it all to you

They both stretched out the last note, their hands swinging carelessly between them as they revelled in the moment. The song ended and the crowd got to their feet, clapping and stomping their feet.

Rachel looked out over the crowd and smiled, she missed this. And looking at Quinn who was smiling in a vague sort of way at her sea of admirers, she had to admit that though she never thought she would, she had missed Quinn.

XX

"Bars should never close" complained Rachel lolling against the window of the taxi, watching the streets slip by as though by magic.

"Yeah where are we supposed to get more alcohol?" agreed the blonde whose head was resting on the brunette's shoulder.

"I have some at my place" the brunette suddenly realized, "which is good because your staying with me tonight?"

"I am? Why?"

"Because I don't want to be alone while I'm this drunk you know how clumsy I am even when I'm sober"

"Your right. I must stay to protect you"

"I'd appreciate it."

"And to drink some more."

"Yes, that too."

Rachel hurriedly paid the driver and smiled as his eyes widened at the generous tip.

"Bring her somewhere special eh?" she winked before dragging Quinn up the front steps and fumbled with her keys, managing to open the door on her seventh attempt, they both fell inside, surprised at the sudden opening of the door and landed on a heap on the cold marble floor.

Rachel had landed on Quinn and was currently very comfortable.

"Rachel get up"

"Hmm?"

"Your crushing me"

"Oops sorry" apologized the brunette, still not moving.

"You still haven't moved."

"I know I'm rather comfortable actually."

"We can't stay here for the night!"

"And why may I ask can't we?"

"Because I'm cold.."

The brunette shook her head, they were plenty warm all huddled up together.

"Try again."

The blonde thought for a moment.

"Um your bed is comfier?"

She was actually really happy where she was right now thank you very much.

A second head shake.

"The drinks all in the kitchen"

The brunette was on her feet in seconds, offering the blonde a hand up.

"Let's go."

XX

"Your turn Berry" drawled the now completely intoxicated Quinn.

"Okay ..um ..truth"

The blonde booed and made an exaggerated thumbs down.

"Ok, have you ever had a sex dream about someone from Glee?"

Judging by the brunette's horrified expression she had.

"Ooh who was it? Spill Barbara!" probed the blonde, sensing a story coming on.

"It was ..Kurt."

Quinn almost fell off her seat in shock.

"Skinny, knee-length, manicure wielding, gay boy Kurt. That Kurt?"

Rachel nodded unhappily.

"Well I was all hopped up on cough medicine and kept having these rather vivid daydreams, not unlike the Britney Spears one we all experienced. Anyway I dreamed I was making out with pretty much everyone in Glee club that day."

Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Everyone?"

The brunette nodded reluctantly.

"Even me?"

"Yes Quinn you do come under the category of everyone."

The blonde smirked devilishly.

"Was it hot?"

Rachel blushed and reached out an arm to swat the blonde.

"What? I just want to know if it was hot or not."

"I wouldn't know."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I've never made out with you."

"Yeah but the dream Berry."

"It's not reality."

"It's the reality of our unconscious mind" argued the blonde, she really wanted to know.

"Ugh, yes it was hot alright, can we move on now."

Quinn smirked, triumphant.

"Truth or dare?"

The blonde decided to play it safe.

"Truth."

"Hmm ..have you ever made out with a girl?"

The blonde frowned and fell silent, staring at the glass in her hand.

Noticing Quinn's hesitation the brunette's eyes went wide.

"You don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

The blonde locked eyes with her.

"No it's okay..I-I want to."


	10. Confessions

**Authors note: Gotcha! You really didn't think that I would leave you with such a cliff-hanger for long did you? ;)**

**The dinner with all the Glee clubbers should be up next, then comes the movie scenes and what not. Also just want to say that I am so happy for all the Britanna shippers, if only Faberry would happen.**

**Please review! : )**

**XX**

"_No ..I want too."_

Rachel didn't know what to expect, her heart was pounding at Quinn's indirect admission.

_Quinn was ..is gay, since when? High school? College? Everyone experiments in college but this just took the biscuit. _

If Rachel really thought about it, she guessed it was kind of obvious. Head cheerleader, president of the celibacy club, she never seemed to care much for her boyfriends, Finn and same seemed to fall by the wayside everytime they were with her. As far as Rachel knew, Quinn had never been intimate with either of them.

The blonde lowered her gaze to the floor, her cheeks suddenly burning with embarrassment. But se couldn't stop now, it was like a dam had burst and everything was pouring out.

"It's just hard for me to talk about, I'm not used to ..being this open with people."

The brunette let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, and reached out to pat Quinn's knee in silent encouragement. The blonde never fell apart, never let the mask slip and here she was letting Rachel in. She may still be in shock but she wasn't a bitch, Quinn was upset and she needed a friend right now.

"Take all the time you need." She lifted the blonde's chin gently, smiling softly at the struggling girl before her.

Quinn blinked and returned the timid smile, grasping at the words that were whizzing around her brain, confusing her. She decided to just come right out and say what she was feeling, consequences be damned, she needed this right now.

"Rachel, do you remember that picture of me in my apartment, the one that you were looking at when you um visited me with Emily?"

_You mean the picture that makes you look like a fallen angel that just happened to get snapped on her way down, that picture? Hmm ..I think so._

"Of course I remember, it was beautiful."

Quinn blushed at the compliment before continuing.

"My ex girlfriend took that picture."

_Oh._

The brunette's eyes widened at the admission, that was unexpected.

Quinn took in her reaction and nodded.

"Yeah, she was a photographer, an amazingly talented photographer actually. I met her three months after I moved here, we both grabbed for the last vegan lasagne in the supermarket."

They both laughed as they realized how cliché Quinn sounded.

"Her name was Lea."

_Lea? That's a stupid name, it's too short._

Rachel realized she would eventually have to speak so she plucked a random question out of the hundreds that were buzzing in her ears.

"A-and how long were you and ..Lea together?"

_It even sounded wrong when you said it. L-e-a ..Leeeaaaa. Nope still don't like it._

Quinn fidgeted slightly in her seat, playing with the silver bracelet hanging on her wrist.

"We were together for two years, and friends for one before we became romantically involved."

_Whoa, this wasn't just a fling then? Go Lea._

"So it was serious?"

"Quite serious, yes."

Rachel felt an irrational stab of jealously and decided that she was simply relating to Quinn's story. Yeah that was it.

"And are you two still ..?"

She almost didn't want to hear the answer.

_Almost._

"No. We broke up six months ago, she collected the last of her stuff that day we met with Gerry in the restaurant."

"So that's why you were late?" questioned the brunette, piecing everything together.

The blonde nodded.

"I'm sorry Quinn, were you in love with her?"

_She stayed with her for two years, of course she loved her stupid._

To her surprise, the blonde frowned instantly.

Quinn glanced at the brunette wondering if she wanted to answer such a personal question, she didn't do this, she was above all an extremely private person, even in High School. Rachel seemed to weaken her defences, knock down her walls. Make her want to share.

"You know whenever my Uncle came to visit for Christmas, he had this saying that has always stuck with me. He would sit me on his knee, take a deep drag for his cigar and say "When you grow up to love someone Quinnie, you have to love it all. Otherwise it ain't love."

Rachel smiled lightly at the blonde's loving words, drawling them out one by one in her generic boy voice.

"The point is I _didn't _love everything. I loved bits and pieces, trying to make our relationship work was like trying to complete a jigsaw without all the pieces. We just didn't fit."

The brunette was shocked at how eloquently the blonde could speak, even with a half bottle of tequila coursing through her veins.

"And why did it end?"

The blonde glanced at her questioningly.

Rachel shook her head, realizing she needed to elaborate.

"No I understand what your saying about the love aspect of it, it's just, well you must have known that you weren't right for each other but you stayed together anyway. What was the trigger for the breakup? What gave you that final push to end things?"

Quinn bobbed her head slightly, indicating that she understood the question.

"She proposed to me."

Rachel gasped audibly.

"So she proposed and you said no?"

Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose guiltily, what happened to all their drunken light-hearted banter? When did everything get so heavy?

"Not ..exactly."

Rachel's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What do you mean "no exactly" Quinn Fabray if you left that poor girl at the alter I swear I'm going to –"

"Rachel no, no nothing like that."

Quinn sighed, this was her first time telling anybody what had really happened between her and Lea. It hurt to think about.

"When Lea proposed to me, I said yes. She was ecstatic of course, insisted that we go to Lima and tell my mother."

The blonde held up a hand, sensing that the brunette was about to interrupt.

"My mom threw my Dad out after she caught him cheating for the third time, he's been gone for more than a year now, falling apart without her of course. But she sobered up and while she knows I'm gay and after we had a lot of long winded arguments about hell and the evils of homosexuality, she eventually agreed to at least tolerate the lifestyle I had chosen."

Rachel nodded, her question answered.

"Anyway, while we were driving through Lima, I had a sentimental moment and decided to take a bit of a stroll down memory lane. A half an hour later myself and Lea were entering McKinley High School. It was weird at first, everything looked the same but different. Passing my old locker, remembering how people would part like the red sea for me wherever I went. Remembering all the times I slushied you."

Quinn paused at this point, her voice lowered to a whisper so that Rachel could had to lean forward and strain her ears to hear.

"I went into the old choir room, everything looked frozen in time. I could practically see everyone sitting in their usual seats waiting for Mr Schue to come in and start practice. The colours, the piano, everything. Our group photo from Sectionals was hanging just inside the door. I went over just to look at it, I didn't expect the emotions that came with it, I started having all these flashbacks of Mr Schuester, telling us to be true to ourselves, to follow our hearts. And that's when I realized."

Rachel was on the edge of her seat, hanging on her every word, she couldn't tear her eyes away.

"Realized what Quinn?" she whispered gently, urging the girl on.

"I realized that i was sixteen again."

The blonde raised her shimmering eyes to meet the brunette's.

"Oh Rachel don' t you see? I was settling. Lea was Finn. I settled for him in High School because he was nice and well he was there, and I realized that I was doing the same to Lea and she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve what I was doing to her. So I ended it, for both our sakes."

Quinn was openly crying now, begging the brunette to understand.

"Quinn?"

The blonde shook her head, tears falling to the floor as she fixed her gaze on her own shoes.

"Quinn look at me please."

She merely continued to shake her head, she couldn't stand the anger, the disgust the brunette must surely be feeling towards her right now.

Rachel reached out and gently wiped away Quinn's tears, tilting her head so their gazes locked.

"You did the right thing."

Quinn threw her arms around Rachel and sobbed her heart out.

**XX**

The two remained locked in that embrace until small beams of watery sunlight sliced their way into the room, brightening the kitchen and warming the air.

Rachel pulled away first, tucking a strand of hair behind the blonde's ear and giving her a watery smile.

"Hey" she whispered.

Quinn sniffled adorably, meeting her gaze with vulnerable eyes.

"Hey"

"Do you want to get some sleep now? It's still really early."

The blonde nodded mutely, she was completely exhausted, twice she had almost drifted off in the shorter girls arms.

Rachel reached a hand out to Quinn which she took gratefully, allowing herself to be lead through the kitchen and up the stairs.

"So I guess I'll see you in the morning?"

Quinn nodded mutely, shuffling into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the wall.

"Good night."

"Good night Rachel."

The brunette sighed and made her way to her own bedroom, feeling uneasy at the parting. Opening her wardrobe she grabbed a tank top and short shorts, discarding her clothing and quickly changing into her makeshift pyjama's. When she came out, she flipped off the lights and crawled into bed, tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable spot. Eventually she stopped moving and lay there, wide awake, she couldn't sleep knowing that Quinn was upset in the next room.

_She's probably asleep, maybe I should check on her._

The brunette half-rose, cocking her head to one side as though she could hear the blonde sleeping through the wall. She bit her lip, gazing at the sliver of light coming through her heavy curtains.

After a few moment of internal debate she snapped and leapt out of bed, creeping quietly towards the silent guest room, ears strained for any hint of noise.

She gently pushed the door aside and smiled, Quinn was lying on the bed wide awake, her eyes finding Rachel's in surprise.

She sat up slightly.

"Hi"

"Hi" replied the brunette, balancing from foot to foot and rubbing her arms absentmindedly, cold now that she had left her warm bed.

The blonde looked at her questioningly.

_Oh right why am I here again?_

"I came to see if you wanted some bed clothes, I just remembered you didn't have any."

Quinn smiled at her thoughtfulness.

"Yeah, these jeans are kind of restricting." She giggled slightly, pulling the covers aside and revealing her fully-clothed, shoes and all.

"Follow me then"

They made the short trip to Rachel's closet and the brunette picked out a white tank top and shorts for Quinn. She then left, giving the blonde some privacy to change.

The blonde came out of the closet shortly after.

"How do I look?" teased the taller girl, doing a pirouette.

"Beautiful, but tired. You need some sleep, c'mon I'll walk you back" replied the brunette, trying not to stare at the porcelain legs in front of her.

They retraced their steps and stood at the entrance to the guest bedroom, neither wanting to be alone.

Rachel seemed to sense Quinn's reluctance.

"Wh-why don't you sleep in my bed tonight?"

Quinn glanced at the brunette, she knew what she was doing.

"Rachel you don't have to .."

"I want to."

The blonde smiled, touched.

"Okay. Thank you."

Once again, the brunette led the way, guiding the exhausted Quinn to the side of her bed and lifting the covers so the blonde could scramble under straightaway, shivering at the cold sheets.

Rachel shut the drapes and got into bed beside the suddenly still blonde, assuming she had already fallen asleep, the brunette shut her eyes and began drifting off when she felt the blonde begin to move, a warm arm suddenly wrapped tight around her waist.

"Thank you." Mumbled the sleepy Quinn.

Rachel responded by entwining their fingers and giving the warm hand encased in hers a gentle squeeze, trying to convey how she felt.

She lay awake, listening to the sound of the calm steady breathing coming from Quinn.

It was only when she felt the hand holding her own curl tighter about hers did she realize.

_If Quinn was settling for Lea, then who did she really want_?


	11. The Spanish Inqusition

**Authors note: So I decided to give you another update while I was on a roll. I must tell you that the biggest muse I have right now is your reviews so keep them coming please :) There is actually quite a bit of Britanna in this chapter, but everybody loves them too right?**

**XX**

Quinn woke up to an empty bed immediately cursing her own stupidity. She closed her eyes and frowned as the memories from last night flooded her mind. How could she have been so stupid, they had just been forming a tentative friendship and she had to go ruin everything, why did she open her big mouth? Rachel probably thought she was some sort of gay freak, sure she had been accepting last night, but she had been drunk, she would have taken anything in her stride with that much alcohol in her system. She had probably been horrified when she woke up with Quinn next to her, it would explain the empty bed right now. The brunette was probably pulling out of the movie as she lay here.

She slowly reached out a hand, lightly palming the crumpled sheets, jerking reflexively at how cold it felt. She hoped the cold was not a sign of things to come.

Rolling over and kicking the heavy covers aside, pinching the bridge in frustration, the night had been going so well too. The karaoke had gone down a treat, and their duet had been a particular highlight for Quinn, she hadn't sang for a long time, in fact she hand never sung with Rachel before except in a group during their Glee club days. Fast forward three hours and she was practically crying her eyes out at an innocent question. This just goes to show that nothing good can come from a game of Truth or Dare.

Sighing, she sat up slowly, running a hand wearily through her tousled hair and turning her gaze to the floor, as though she could see the brunette through the floor beds, pacing around in agitation, wanting Quinn to leave.

The blonde stood up and silently dressed herself, worrying about Rachel's reaction.

Quinn stopped halfway down the staircase, cocking her head at the sudden sound, trying to ascertain where it had come from.

There it was again.

It sounded like Rachel was chopping something in the kitchen.

_Hmm...maybe she's practicing what she intends to do with my head?_

Wow, morbid much?

She finally reached the door after what felt like an hour, nervously tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear and taking a deep breath, she pushed the door aside.

Quinn's mouth fell open with an audible pop.

Rachel jumped and smiled as she spotted Quinn slack-jawed in the doorway.

"Good morning Quinn, did you sleep well? I've made us some breakfast, I didn't really know which foods you preferred so I just made-"

"Everything." Stated the blonde, finishing her sentence for her, practically drooling at the food-laden table before her.

Rachel smiled sheepishly, wiping a hand across her apron.

She was wearing an apron for Christ sake!

"To be honest, I don't really get to play the hostess that often and well, you know I aim to please, a trait I seem to have carried with me since High School that never really faded I guess"

_I'll say._

"And please you do." Agreed Quinn, smirking as she took a seat, unsure of where to begin.

The brunette blushed and ducked her head, taking a seat beside the salivating blonde.

"Thank you Quinn."

The taller girl smiled gently, and they ate in silence for a few minutes before she put down her toast and lowered her gaze to her plate.

"Rachel about last night I-"

"Your welcome."

Quinn looked up and glanced at Rachel who was carefully applying jam to her own slice of toast, a small smile playing at the side of her mouth.

Quinn grinned and continued eating, relief coursing through her veins with every bite.

_She doesn't hate me ..She doesn't hate me._

**XX**

The two women fell back in their seats, too stuffed to even attempt moving right now.

Rachel studied the blonde for a moment.

"So Quinn?"

"Hmm?" she replied contently patting her stomach jokingly.

"What are you doing for the day?"

Quinn smiled at Rachel's terrible attempt at nonchalance.

"Well I .." she paused and glared at her phone that had chosen that exact moment to start ringing.

Giving the brunette an apologetic look she answered it begrudgingly.

"Hello?"

"Oh hey what's up?"

"Your in town why?"

Rachel ears perked, who was on the phone?

"I'd love to." She paused, glancing at Rachel "is it okay if i bring a guest?"

The brunette frowned, who was Quinn bringing to this mystery dalliance.

"Eight o clock? Perfect, see you then. Bye."

The blonde hung up and tossed her phone on the table, purposefully avoiding the shorter girls questioning gaze.

"How do you feel about dinner tonight?"

Rachel was her plus one? That was nice of her.

"Dinner sounds nice."

Quinn cringed at the word nice, she wasn't telling her everything, that much was clear.

"What?"

"The dinner will be with Brittany.."

"Oh that's great! I haven't seen her in so –"

"And Santana."

"Oh."

"We don't have to go if your not comfortable with it. I just want you to know .." she leaned forward, locking gazes with the suddenly quiet brunette "Santana may not be a saint, but she's not the bitch she was in High School, she wants to meet you too."

"She does?"

"Yes, and so does Brittany."

Rachel sighed, trying to make up her mind, finally she relented.

"Fine I'll go.."

Quinn smiled broadly, leaning back in relief.

"Rachel that's great I-"

"On one condition."

The blonde raised her eyebrow.

"What condition?"

**XX**

Quinn fixed her dress for the last time, turning to face the brunette who was struggling with her small handbag.

"Rachel I really don't think you will need that rape whistle."

"This is my condition, it makes me feel safer around her."

The blonde rolled her eyes and put the finishing touches to her makeup, amused at the brunette's fidgety actions.

"She's not going to sell me out to a tabloid is she?"

Quinn snorted.

"Of course not. Brittany's afraid of camera flashes."

"Oh, good. Well not good that Brittany's afraid of camera's, just good we won't be pictured should she choose to slushie me for old times sake."

The blonde smiled but otherwise remained silent, watching as Rachel frowned in the mirror.

"Does she know your gay?"

Quinn paused in her application of her lip-gloss and focused on the brunette's questioning gaze.

"They know, they've known for quite a while actually."

Rachel took a step closer.

"How long is a while?"

"Since High School."

"You were gay in High School?" she asked, eyes bugging slightly.

"I was aware of my sexuality in High School yes."

"But you dated Finn?"

"So did you."

"I'm not gay."

Quinn dropped her gaze.

"We should go, Santana gets pissed when people are late."

Rachel stopped mid-step and nodded.

"O-okay."

**XX**

"Rachel!" squealed the bubbly blonde, throwing her arms around the shorter girl with such enthusiasm that she almost knocker her over.

"Hi Brittany" she managed to choke out, swaying dangerously on her usually trusty heels.

"It's like a mini-reunion!"

"It is." Agreed the brunette, slightly surprised that Brittany even knew the word reunion.

After a few more squeals from the tall blonde, she pulled back and Rachel found herself face to face with Santana. They both looked the same as in High School, scarily beautiful.

The Latina slowly approached the nervous brunette, her face impassive.

"So, you and Q are buddies now?"

Rachel glanced at Quinn who was staring intently at Santana, wondering where she was going with this.

The brunette nodded.

"Well I always thought you two would make good friends, even in High School, but you know you were sort of a freak." She stated with a small smile, letting Rachel know that she wasn't insulting her, merely stating a fact.

"Thanks?"

"And listen, you sort of rock with all the fame and shit. Nice job Berry."

Rachel beamed at the smirking Latina.

"Well nice job finally tying the knot" replied the brunette knowingly.

Santana blushed and glared half-heartedly at Quinn, who simply smirked.

"Right enough of this love-fest I'm starving"

They filed into the restaurant and were seated within seconds at a private booth for four. They each ordered their pleasure and as their food arrived, with the glasses and cutlery clinking talked inevitably turned to Rachel and Quinn's unexpected reunion.

"so I walked in to meet Gerry, apologizing for being later, I sat down, turned to greet my new co-star and there she was."

"There I was" agreed Rachel with a laugh.

"Wow so you had like no idea that your on screen lady lover was going to be Berry?"

"Not a clue" confirmed Quinn with a small smile.

Rachel returned the smile, locking their gazes effortlessly over the flickering candlelight. She felt something tug in her stomach, and then another. Why did she have butterflies?

"Berry?"

Rachel snapped out of her thoughts and focused her attention on the waiting Latina.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked you if you knew that Quinn was going to be your co-star?"

_Uh oh._

"Of course she didn't San, do you think that she would willingly meet me for lunch if she knew, she still thought I was Quinn Fabray head bitch"

Rachel laughed along nervously, relieved that Quinn had unknowingly let her off the hook.

She glanced at Brittany and noticed that the girl was frowning right at her.

"B, what's wrong?" came Santana's worried voice, noticing that she had fallen uncharacteristically quiet.

The taller blonde snapped out of her reverie with a reflexive smile.

"Nothing baby. I just need to use the little girls room, Rachel will you come with me?"

The brunette looked at the grinning girl, slightly taken aback.

"Um sure. I guess I could touch up my makeup or something."

"Excellent" exclaimed the excitable blonde grabbing her by the hand and hauling her out of the chair.

Santana watched her girlfriends retreating form with a suspicious glint in her eye.

Brittany was up to something.

**XX**

Rachel carefully wiped away the excess mascara and pouted at her reflection, listening to Brittany struggle with her dress in the cubicle behind her.

Eventually she heard a satisfied self high five and the door was flung open.

The tall blonde swaggered happily to the sinks, soaping her hands and staring at the bubbles with intense concentration, so much so that when she eventually spoke, Rachel jumped a little.

"Why did you lie?"

Rachel glanced at her in the mirror, she was still studying her soapy hands.

"Lie? I didn't lie."

"Yes you did. You lied about not knowing that Quinn was going to be your co-star"

_How does she know? How the hell does she know? Ok Berry play it cool, it's just Brittany for god sake make up a story about a magic comb or Santa._

"I d-don't know what your talking about"

The blonde turned the tap off and grabbed a handful of paper towels, drying her hands with the same intense concentration as before.

"Rachel, don't treat me like I'm stupid. I may be a little different because I choose to see the happy side of things, but that doesn't mean that I'm unintelligent"

_Okay I may have been mistaken the last time, but now I __**know **__that Aston Kutcher is playing with me._

Brittany seemed to sense her scepticism.

"I wasn't stupid in High School either, I played dumb because it's how I chose to survive. Quinn became a bitch, Santana could throw a mean punch, and I was the innocent one. Miss Sylvester wouldn't shout at me because I pretended not to understand anything she yelled at us, I never got bullied because I reminded Karofsky of his kid sister and I acted dumb in class because the teachers would think that I cheated on my tests because I'm normally so spaced out."

Rachel's mouth fell open in a perfect O.

"You all just assumed I was stupid, except Santana, she caught me doing advanced Calculus, and she wasn't even surprised, she saw past even my most convincing bubblegum smile to the person underneath. That's why I feel in love with her. Rachel did you even ask me what grades I got?"

The brunette shook her head guiltily.

"No because you assumed that I failed. When in fact I graduated in the top three of my class. Now do you want to tell me again that you didn't lie?"

Rachel swallowed, she was ashamed of herself. She always thought of Brittany as a lava lamp, pretty to look at but not that bright.

"Brittany I'm so sorry"

"That's okay Rachel, I'm an amazing actress when I want to be. Now spill." She giggled at the brunette's shell-shocked expression.

Rachel smiled softly at the easy forgiveness. Followed quickly by pursed lips as she leaned wearily against the small row of sinks, wondering how to explain herself to this human lie detector.

"To be honest, I really don't know why I lied. I guess I lied at the beginning because I thought Quinn was the same bitter girl I knew in High School, tonight is the first it's been brought up since."

"But why did you go to lunch if you thought she was still a bitch?" asked the taller blonde.

_Good she's good. Look out Ellen, god how I love Ellen._

Rachel blew her fringe out of her eyes and tapped a hand rhythmically against the marble counter.

"I guess, I wanted to see her. To see if she could still affect me the way she used to. I wanted to show her that I wasn't the pathetic pushover that I used to be."

Brittany nodded like she understood.

"I don't think you were a pushover."

Rachel smiled vaguely.

"I was though"

The taller girl sighed.

"I think you should tell Quinn."

Rachel glanced at Brittany.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

**XX**

"So you and Berry huh?"

Quinn took a sip of her drink and nodded.

"I guess."

Santana tilted her head and studied the blonde beside her.

"And how is that going?"

"It's been great actually. I'm having so much fun, when we're together it's just .." she stopped hastily glancing at the silent Latina "fun."

"What were you going to say Q?" probes the intrigued brunette.

"Nothing."

"Oh that's crap and you know it."

"Look we're just two friends having fun okay?"

Santana sniggered disbelievingly.

"Yeah and Brittany actually believes that there is ducks living inside a hat. C'mon Q we've been friends for a long time, level with me. I know you better than that"

Quinn sighed, she hated it when Santana played the friend card.

"I told her about Lea last night"

Santana choked on her drink.

"And how did she react to you being a muffmuncher?"

The blonde smiled fondly as she remembered how nervous she had been that morning.

"She made me breakfast."

**XX**

Rachel stumbled in the door a little after three that night, she would have brought Quinn with her, but she had an interview early in the morning and was already running out of clean clothes as it was, they parted eventually after Santana physically pulled them apart and tossed her into a separate cab.

The night had gone better than expected, the teasing was all friendly and it was nice to see how mellow and happy the usually terrifying Latina had become. Rachel had been waiting all night for her usual nicknames to appear in normal conversation, but they didn't and she eventually relaxed into the night, soaking up the atmosphere.

She hadn't forgotten what Brittany had said in the bathrooms, she would tell Quinn, but the timing hadn't been right, they hadn't been alone the whole night.

Heading towards the kitchen, she poured herself a glass of water and smiled at the pile of dishes in the sick, they had vowed to clean them up before they headed out that night but had ended up as a mere pipedream. They had spent the entire afternoon playing dress up in Rachel's bedroom, mixing and matching the weirdest combination of clothes they could find to make the other laugh.

Crawling exhaustedly into bed, the brunette shut her eyes tiredly, almost falling straight to sleep, until she heard her phone buzz.

Reluctantly, she reached out and hit read.

_**I had a good times tonight –Q**_

She sat up, now wide awake.

_**So did I. They are such a cute couple –R**_

They had only been apart a half an hour, how could it feel like a lifetime?

_**They sure are. I might try to get some sleep now I guess –Q**_

_**Before you do ..I need to tell you something. –R**_

Moment of truth.

_**Should I be worried? Shoot. –Q**_

_Oh god._

_**When Santana asked if I knew you were going to be my co-star today? –R**_

_Maybe I shouldn't._

_**Yes, and? –Q**_

_**I did know.-R**_

_Ahhh why did I send that, why?_

_**You knew and you still came to that lunch, why? –Q**_

_Why does everybody ask that damn question._

_**I guess, I just wanted to see you. –R**_

_I am such a dork. I am such a dork. I sound like a stalker._

_**Your sweet. –Q**_

_Phew. Wait she thinks I'm sweet? Well I wouldn't say sweet ..Aww._

_**Did you really not know it was going to be me? –R**_

_**I really didn't know. But I always hoped I would run into you someday :) –Q**_

_Awwww._

_**Now who's being sweet ;) –R**_

Rachel's phone buzzed again and she quickly picked this up, confused as she saw that there was no new text message, then she realized it was ringing.

"Hello?"

"Hey"

"Quinn? Texting not good enough for you?"

"Texting is fine. But I wanted to hear your voice when I said goodnight."

_I think I said aww too much. Ahhh screw it ..Awwww!_

"I'm blushing."

"Goodnight Rachel"

"Goodnight Quinn."

Rachel kept the phone to her ear, waiting to hear the dial tone ending the call, she could still hear shallow breathing on the other end.

"Quinn are you going to hang up?"

"No."


	12. First scene

**Authors note: Love all the reviews keep them coming they make me write quicker, I'd love to get reviews on real life decisions I actually make. It would save a lot of mistakes. **

**I'm not sure how long this story will be, how long would you like it? Long or wrapped up soon?**

**XX**

Rachel sighed in frustration, throwing her hands in the air in an effort to vent. So far, she had cleaned the house from top to bottom, 'gone for a walk, balanced her chequebook and watched a movie. She slouched around the kitchen, opening presses at random as though a portal to Narnia would suddenly appear and alleviate this crushing boredom.

Her immediately drifted to Quinn the brunette shook her head forcefully. They had been spending _way_ too much time together lately, it was bordering on unhealthy. What the hell did she do before Quinn had breezed into her life? Was she really that much of a loser? Yes.

Her eyes fell upon the small pink cell phone on the kitchen table and she instantly clamped her hands together in an effort to abstain from picking it up and dialling the number she now knew by heart. Just like she knew that Quinn's favourite colour was brown, that her favourite number was three and that she had an irrational fear of clowns.

_Well maybe not completely irrational, I mean come on clowns __**are **__scary._

She laughed internally as she visualised the blonde trying to explain her fear yesterday, wide-eyed and shivery, glancing over her shoulder periodically just in case the clowns had "overheard"

She never knew how quirky Quinn was, she did a good job of hiding it in High School.

Rachel frowned.

Why did her hand suddenly feel a whole lot heavier than it was a minute ago? Looking down she gasped. The brunette had subconsciously picked up the phone and entered the blonde's number while her mind was otherwise occupied.

_Damn women for being multi-tasked! Why can't I be a man, swig beer, belch loudly and never think about anything serious except who's going to win the next super bowl. That would be the life._

Tossing the offending item across the table, where it skidded and came to a halt, she pulled a chair out from the table and sat on her hands.

_This should work. Let's see you dial now hands! Muahaha, ok now I'm freaking myself out._

After a few moments basking in the ingenuity of her plan, Rachel cringed.

She really had to pee.

But if she got up now she might as well kiss goodbye to her resolve. Quite the pickle.

She immediately proceeded to compiled a substantial list of the pros and cons of peeing in her already highly irrational brain.

_Okay, If I just hold it in, it might go away._

_Yeah, or else your bladder will explode._

_That can happen?_

_Yes! I saw it on the Discovery channel last week ._

_But what If I call Quinn when I stand up?_

_So call her, she probably wants you too._

_That's not the point._

_Isn't it?_

_No_

_..._

_Ok fine, maybe she wants me to call her, and maybe I want to call her, but that doesn't mean I am going too._

_And why not?_

_Because we have spent every single day together this week!_

_So?_

_And we should be sick of each other by now!_

_Are you sick of her?_

_Well no but .._

_Go pee._

_Okay._

Rachel hopped up from the hard chair and yelped at the pins and needles she felt in her hands.

Sprinting to the kitchen door, she stopped suddenly, spinning around dangerously, she rushed back to the table, grabbing her phone and dashing to the bathroom.

After answering the call of nature, she plopped unceremoniously onto the couch and sent a quick text, almost hoping the blonde wouldn't answer.

_**Are you busy? –R**_

The brunette smiled as her phone buzzed within seconds.

_**Not really. You? –Q**_

_**Me either. I was wondering if you wanted me to come over and bring my funny girl DVD, you promised we could watch it :P –R**_

_Good old Funny Girl._

_**Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry. I'm actually on my way to a friends house right now. Rain check? –Q**_

_I'm so stupid, of course she has plans. It's not like she's sitting at home waiting for me to call her. She actually has a life outside of me._

_**Don't worry about it. Rain check sounds good. –R**_

Five minutes later and Rachel's phone remained silent. Was that it? She had been disappointed that Quinn couldn't hang out and now she wasn't even returning her texts. She had at least wanted to talk to her or something ..

_Way to make me feel like crap Fabray._

Rachel was seriously considering cleaning some more when her doorbell rang.

_Oh god I am not in the mood for you today Emily. Go away. Leave me __**alone.**_

The bell rang again, completely ignoring the brunette's telepathic pleas.

_Ugh fine. Now I'm going to yell at you._

Rachel stood up and stomped her way to the door, her face set in a deep scowl, preparing to give the redhead a piece of her mind.

"Emily now is really not a good- Quinn?"

There on the doorstep was none other than Quinn Fabray.

"Hi" she smiled shyly, shifting her weight from foot to foot and holding up a bag of junk food as a peace offering.

"W-what are you doing here?" the brunette stammered, usually she had advanced warning, Quinn unexpectedly showing up threw her, her stomach was doing summersaults.

"I told you, I was on the way to a friends house." She smiled shyly, ducking her head "I was already on the way here when you text me ..I wanted it to be a surprise"

Rachel's features softened and she shot the blushing girl a tender smile.

"Well I'm glad your here"

Quinn raised her head, timidly returning the smile.

They remained like that for several seconds, gazing softly at each other, neither wanting to break eye contact.

Eventually, Rachel realized that they were still standing outside.

"Oh Quinn, I'm sorry, where are my manners! Come in, come in let me help you with that "she rambled nervously, taking the little plastic bag from Quinn's hands and leading her inside, ushering her into the living room.

The blonde looked on amused as the brunette fussed over her.

It was kind of endearing.

"Rachel?"

The shorter girl hastily stopped plumping her cushions and looked up.

"I believe you mentioned Funny Girl"

Rachel bobbed her head eagerly.

"I'm glad you remembered Quinn. D-do you want to watch it?"

"Well duh. I didn't come here for the company" replied the blonde with a cheeky wink.

Rachel smacked her lightly on the arm and moved to find the movie, relishing at how easily the two slipped into their comfort zone when they were together.

She finally located the DVD, tucked in-between Phantom of the Opera and Moulin Rouge, and popped it in the DVD player. Grabbing the remote, she turned and frowned.

Another dilemma.

Quinn had settled herself on the loveseat, which did have the best view of the telly. However both the three seat couch and armchair were vacant, if she sat beside Quinn they would be slightly squashed.

Just as she was forming yet another mental list, Quinn solved the problem by promptly yanking her down beside her while muttering about her blocking the TV.

Rachel glanced at the TV, the DVD wasn't even playing yet.

Deciding to let it go, the brunette hit play and relaxed into the chair, revelling in the warmth emanating from the blonde, it seemed to be coming from all sides.

The movie began and Rachel immediately focused, nothing could distract her from this masterpiece. Nothing.

**XX**

"I can't believe it, since when!" exclaimed the brunette, eyeing the blonde in disbelief, the movie softly playing in the background, long since forgotten.

Quinn tapped her chin pensively, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

"It was the summer just before sophomore year"

"I still can't believe it I mean I never noticed!" replied Rachel mystified.

"Well in your defence, you didn't spend a whole lot of time staring at Santana's chest, did you?"

The brunette nodded. Fair point.

"Still though you would think that I would have notice her um ..enhanced assets"

"Well I guess ..but you were wrapped up with Glee and homework and-"

"Finn?"

Quinn rubbed her neck uneasily.

"Yeah. Finn."

Rachel was thoughtful for a moment.

"I wish I'd never dated Finn."

Quinn gazed into the popcorn bowl, her fingers dancing around the rim.

"Why?"

"Finn may have been sweet but I didn't love him. He made me blind to a lot of things, Santana's operation excluded"

"I know what you mean. I only dated him because it was what was expected of me. I never loved him, hell I barely even liked him half the time."

"And if I had never dated him maybe .." she trailed off quietly, twirling a piece of her around her finger absentmindedly.

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe you and I could have been friends. I mean the only reason we had for "hating" each other is because of him"

Quinn swallowed.

"We're friends now"

"I know but it would have been nice if we had been like this in High School too. I could have used a friend"

Quinn fell silent, she had always wanted to be friends with Rachel. But life just seemed to work against them sometimes.

Rachel snapped out of her daze and plastered a smile across her face.

"So work starts tomorrow. Are you still nervous?"

"A little" admitted the blonde, fidgeting with her bottle of water.

"Quinn you are one of the most talented people I know. Trust me when I say that you have nothing to worry about. I should know I'm also really talented"

The blonde smirked, for a second Rachel was sixteen again.

"Thank you"

"Your welcome"

They smiled unseeingly at each other, their thoughts a million miles away.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?"

"I was already planning on it."

**XX**

Both girls groaned appreciatively as they ate, they had ordered pizza. Half vegan, half bacon for Quinn. To them, it was practically sex in slice form.

"This is so amazing" mumbled Quinn, staring lovingly at her half-eaten slice. "and thanks again for getting bacon on mine"

"Just as long as you apologize to the little piggy's before you heartlessly eat them, we're cool" replied the brunette, her mouth full of the delicious food.

Quinn laughed at the mild insanity and pushed her plate aside. She felt like she had just ate enough to feed a small army.

Seconds later, the brunette followed suit and they both waddled to the couches, collapsing pathetically after the short trip.

"I will never be hungry again" declared Rachel dramatically, flinging an arm across her forehead for emphasis.

"Yeah until tomorrow maybe" snorted Quinn, absentmindedly running her hands through the brunette's hair.

Rachel sighed in contentment and closed her eyes. She loved people playing with her hair.

"Mhmm that's nice"

Quinn raised and eyebrow, but otherwise remained silent, continuing her ministrations , the brunette looked so peaceful right now.

Rachel felt the hand slide to a stop and groaned internally.

_Nooo, keep going, don't stop._

Quinn flattened her palm against the silky smooth hair, cupping Rachel's face in one hand. She didn't know what she was doing.

Rachel felt the hand move again, flat against her trembling cheek, fingers still buried in her hair. She could feel the heat radiating from Quinn's shaking palm and leaned further into the touch.

Hearing the blonde gasp at the contact, she opened her eyes and met her swirling hazel orbs. They weren't smiling, or giggling, there were no words or emotion, they simply watched each other intently.

Quinn's hand twitched and Rachel licked her lips.

Rachel's hand was gripping the arm of the couch, she wanted to cover Quinn's hands with her own and couldn't explain why.

Quinn's hand still hadn't moved.

Eventually the brunette threw caution to the wind and raised her shaking hand, moving it agonisingly closer to Quinn's, their gazes never breaking.

Rachel's hand was now inches from Quinn's, she could feel the warm and stretched.

Just a little bit more ..

The phone rang and they sprang apart guiltily. Quinn clasped both her hands together, attempting to regain control of her senses.

Rachel had leapt to her feet, her heart beating frantically in her ears as she reached for the phone.

"Hello?" she gasped into the phone.

"Jesse? Hey, I tried calling you the other day."

Quinn's eyebrows shot up. Jesse St. James?

"I'm .." the brunette paused to glance at Quinn who studied her disbelievingly. "great. I'm great"

"Yeah I'm starting tomorrow"

"I miss you too sweetie"

"Talk to you soon. Goodbye"

Rachel tossed the phone on the couch and looked at Quinn who was glaring at her.

"What?"

"Jesse St. James?"

Her hands fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Yes. So?"

"The Jesse St. James who broke your heart and threw eggs at you?"

"He didn't break my heart .." whispered the brunette vaguely.

Quinn didn't seem to hear her and pressed on.

"Are you two dating or something?"

"What? No! Of course we're not. He's gay"

Quinn tilted her head to the side.

_Well that was kind of obvious._

"So what's with the phone call?"

"Look we are friends okay? And before you remind me about the eggs again, I know what he did to me, I still have them baby chicks on the brain. Yes what he did was horrible and inexcusable, but he apologized for that a long time ago. And he made it up to me these past few years. And need I remind you that he isn't the only one who gave me a hard time back then?" stated the brunette pointedly.

Quinn hung her head.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just .. I don't want him hurting you again."

Rachel tilted her head back enough to make eye contact.

"I know he won't, just like I know you would never hurt me again"

Quinn shook her head furiously.

"I would never" she promised.

"I know" smiled the brunette gently.

**XX**

Rachel and Quinn drove to the set together the next day, after their little heart to heart last night, they had both crashed on the couch, talking about anything and everything until they fell asleep.

Rachel pulled into the parking lot and turned to face Quinn who was staring unseeingly out the window.

"Hey" she whispered entwining their hands together and giving it a soft squeeze.

"Are you okay?"

Quinn turned to gaze at their hands, feeling calmer immediately.

"I am now"

The brunette gave her hand a final squeeze and they made their way inside the studio they were to be working in that day.

"Ladies" boomed Gerry happily as they approached "so nice to see you again."

The three exchanged awkward hugs and he led them to where the stage was set.

They both did a double take, the set was a near perfect replica of their old classroom in McKinley High.

Gerry clapped delightedly at their expressions.

"I thought you might like this little surprise. I really wanted the feel for a small town High School so I took a little trip to your old school in Lima. Charming place. Anyway, most of the set will be based on those very rooms where you shared such fond memories I'm sure" he beamed excitedly, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet as though he couldn't keep still.

They forced a strained smile his way and exchanged a panicked glance.

This was so not good.

"Anyway, we'll just be shooting a little scene today to get you warmed out so to speak" he beamed "Miss Fabray your cheerleading uniform is in your trailer, Miss Berry our fashion co-ordinator would like you to choose out of the outfits she has placed in your own trailer. I think that's about it. Chop chop!" he grinned like a Cheshire cat as they made their way to the exit.

"oh girls!" he called hurriedly "I should warn you that today's scene involved kissing, to get you used to it"

Quinn and Rachel looked at each other and reached a simultaneous realization.

_Shit._


	13. It was only a kiss

**Authors note: Okay so you win I'll make it a long story :) Please review and let me know what you think of where this story is going. They are like crack to me!**

**XX**

Quinn stared at the small bundle draped over the back of her chair. It stared back.

_This can not be happening._

She closed her eyes and prayed.

_Please no. No, no no._

Slowly, she lifted one lid and peered cautiously at the chair. It was gone.

_Oh thank god._

Opening her eyes fully, she praised herself on having remained so calm. Well on the outside anyway.

"Miss Fabray?"

Quinn yelped and twirled around, her arm flapping out defensively in front of her.

The woman smirked and apologetically.

"Oh I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you"

Quinn had calmed down enough to actually realize how crazy she looked and hastily dropped her hand, turning a light shade of pink.

"No I'm sorry, it was my fault I was sort of distracted and-"

She trailed off as a flash of colour invaded her peripherals.

The woman was holding it, keeping it from trailing along the dusty ground apparently. She must have moved it when her eyes were closed.

_Not cool lady._

The dark haired menace cleared her throat and offered up the offending item.

"This is your uniform. Let me know how well it fits so I can make the necessary adjustments. Today is just a run through so it shouldn't matter if it's a little loose.

Quinn nodded like a bobble head and gingerly gripped the hanger, holding the uniform at arms length.

The woman looked at her like she had three heads but she was way beyond caring at this point, her mind was pulling her back, memories flooding her vision, words choking her throat.

"Thank you" she spluttered desperately trying to keep herself from falling apart in front of this snotty woman. She would be the laughing stock of the entire crew if she kept this up, this lady looked like a bitch.

"Oh your quite welcome" came the haughty reply, as she turned to leave the trailer.

Quinn scowled at the back of her head.

"Wait, what is your name?"

The woman paused, her back still firmly to the blonde.

"It's Ellen?" she sniffed, resuming her exit.

_Great now I know who to curse at ELLEN_

Quinn strutted to the door, slamming it shut and barricading herself inside. She just needed a moment , she couldn't face people like this.

Slowly rotating, she braced herself against the onslaught of emotion that was sure to come. Taking a few unsure steps she reached a shaking hand out to feel the stiff material that had been her armour for so long.

The set wasn't the only thing that Gerry had replicated. The uniform was a carbon copy of her McKinley High facade. She blinked back the tears, her vision was narrowed to just two colours.

Red and white.

How could she do this? Wearing that uniform would be like a slap in the face to the new Quinn, the _real _Quinn. After graduation she had burned the clothes that once meant so much to her, no keep sakes, no memories, just the ashes of her former status melting into dust.

And Rachel.

How would Rachel feel about her wearing the very outfit that had terrified and tortured her for so long.

But she needed this job. Not for the money, she didn't care about the money. But this movie, this job was her link to Rachel, and she couldn't lose it. She lost her once before, she was damned if she was going to let that happen again.

She was going to suffer for Rachel. She was worth the emotional bruises. She was worth it.

Quinn studied her red-rimmed eyes in the mirror, and she knew what she had to do.

Taking a seat, the blonde plucked a hair-tie from the small desk and raised her hands. After a few moments she tilted her head and admired her handiwork.

Satisfied, she reluctantly slipped the uniform on, it felt like an old skin and she flexed uncomfortably against it's firm hold.

She turned to the mirror once more, something was missing.

She turned and twisted, bended and crooked trying to convince herself that she looked exactly like she did in High School. There was something about her face that didn't quite match up.

Experimentally, she reached up and tightened her ponytail. A wave of nostalgia rolled over her and she shuddered.

_Almost._

She gripped the ponytail and yanked it tighter until it hurt, causing her to wince in pain.

And suddenly the picture was complete.

That's what was missing. Pain.

**XX**

Rachel walked on set, surprisingly comfortable in her atrocious attire. She had chosen a long sleeved white sweater, the top two buttons left open to reveal a matching top beneath. She wore a short black skirt round her slender waist and a pair of small flat black shoes. She hadn't felt like this Rachel Berry in a long time. It felt like meeting a long-lost friend or finding an old teddy bear you had once cherished as a child.

It was comforting , and surreal and so familiar all at once.

She wondered briefly where Quinn could be, she had been changed and ready to go within fifteen minutes, and still no sign of the blonde.

She wished she would hurry up, some of the crew were giving her creepy looks, it unsettled her more than it should have, she was used to dealing with creeps like this on a regular basis. But something about them leering at her while she donned her old school girl outfit was unnerving she felt sixteen again.

She was saved from fleeing to her trailer when Gerry bounded towards her with a large grin plastered on his face.

"You look perfect!" he announced proudly as though he had chosen the clothes personally. "You look like you could be in High School!"

She gave him an awkward smile and hugged herself nervously.

_Where are you Quinn?_

"No sign of Miss Fabray I assume?"

Rachel was just about to retort when she saw his eye fix on a point somewhere behind her.

"Ah Quinn, we were just talking about you, don't you look like little Miss Popularity herself?"

Rachel whipped around and froze.

_The uniform it's .._

Gerry's voice bellowed once more intercepting her train of thought.

"Yes I see It still fits you very well. Miss Sylvester was more than happy to allow me the rights to copy her uniforms when she knew it was for you. I must say it's astonishing how the both of you look so much like your Glee club photos I saw when visiting your school"

Rachel didn't move, she didn't breathe. She simply stared at her worst nightmare, taking in ever terrifying inch.

"Well I'll leave you to it for a moment while I check the equipment" he muttered vaguely already wandering towards the camera's.

Quinn knew that look, something was wrong.

"Rachel?" she took a step forward, Rachel took one back.

The brunette's eyed widened as the cheerleader advanced. She had no spare clothes with her.

The blonde was worried now.

"Rachel are you okay?"

Rachel shook her head, taking another step back, quicker this time, still staring at Quinn with those wide fearful eyes.

Those steps hurt Quinn more than she cared to say, why was Rachel acting like this, she was still the same Quinn that sang a duet with her, that held her as they cried the other night, she was the same person, so why the freak-out now?

The blonde sighed and quickly moved forward, raising a hand to brush the brunette's hair aside.

Rachel froze and cringed as she saw the hand, screwing her eyes shut she waited for the familiar piercing cold liquid to hit her.

Quinn's hand stopped in mid-air, she took in Rachel's protective stance, how she was shaking. And she understood.

"Oh Rachel" she whispered, reaching down to hold her hand "I would never hurt you. That was the old me, the fake me. Look at me."

The brunette felt the warm hand holding her own and drew strength from it, slowly opening her eyes and returning Quinn's worried gaze.

"I'm sorry" she breathed, "It was ..the uniform ..I just .." she hung her head in embarrassment.

"I know, the uniform is a blast from the past but that's the way Gerry wants it, I'm sorry it's bringing back all these memories, do you want me to go change?"

Rachel studied her shoes quietly, wondering where the mini freak out had come from, she had known that Quinn was playing a cheerleader, she just hadn't expected that Quinn would be playing, well, herself ten years ago.

"No. I-It's okay, I need to get used to it I guess."

The taller girl nodded her understanding and pulled her in for a quick hug, resting her chin on the brunette's shoulder. She smiled as Rachel sighed and pulled her closer.

"Rachel?"

"Hmm?" she mumbled from somewhere near Quinn's shoulder.

"You look really cute"

She felt the brunette shake with silent laughter and mentally high fived herself for saying the right thing. She needed to do more of that.

"You know, I used to think what you wore in High School was cute too."

Rachel let out a breath.

"You did?"

"Oh yeah, those animal sweaters really hit the spot."

The brunette frowned and pulled back to look at Quinn's neutral face.

"Are you mocking me?"

"No. I loved them, especially when you matched them with your knee-length socks"

Rachel studied her eyes, trying to feel her out.

"Okay now I know your playing with me"

Quinn laughed and her eyes twinkled, betraying her.

"You got me."

The brunette swatted her arm playfully and linked their fingers absentmindedly.

"Well I always liked your cheerio's uniform"

It was Quinn's turned to decipher.

"You did huh?"

The brunette nodded avoiding her gaze, concentrating on a small freckle on her neck, it stood out a mile against the smooth porcelain skin.

"Why did you like them?"

"Because they were hot."

Quinn's eyebrows shot up.

"What?" she managed to choke out, trying try to work out if she was joking or not.

"Oh yeah, I always wanted to try one on, just to see how it feels" she stated nonchalantly, lowering her voice purposefully.

The blonde swallowed and looked around, why wasn't anybody else here to hear this!

Her mind flooded with images of the brunette in her cheerleading uniform and her mouth went dry. Rachel was right, it **was **hot.

_Mailman ..Mailman ..Mailman, wait why am I thinking of the mailman, I only use the mailman when I'm ..oh my god I'm getting turned on!_

"Umm" was the genius response.

"Yeah" drawled Rachel, reaching down to touch the uniform just above the blonde's waist "too bad I never got to try it out really, I guess I'll have to stick to my school girl outfits"

_MAILMAN! MAILMAN! MAILMAN!_

"Girls are you ready?" came Gerry's booming voice from across the room.

"Coming Gerry" the brunette called back happily before disentangling herself and flouncing towards the man leaving Quinn standing there babbling like an idiot.

He smiled at Rachel then frowned at the static blonde.

"Quinn are you coming?"

_Almost._

She numbly made her way to the beaming duo, trying to put a mental block on the erotic images assaulting her mind. There was no getting rid of them now, they were permanently etched on her brain.

"Good Now I was just saying to Rachel here that today is just about getting to know the rest of the class and which sets you will be working in, this movie has one basic plotline so you and Rachel are basically the leads, however there will be a few actors coming in on the odd day to play both sets of parents, your principal, a few teachers and a small group that play your friends Quinn. I'm sorry to say that Miss Berry won't have any friends."

They both laughed at Rachel's expression and Gerry continued in the same happy tone.

"We will also have some extra's to run the halls and gasp at the appropriate moments and all that jazz, we will be filming the scene today so that you may have a copy to watch and learn from. Proper shooting commences in three weeks. Any questions?"

They both shook their heads, no.

"We have two scripts here for you to read through and we'll give it a test-drive then ok?"

They both nodded and accepted the heavy paperback booklet.

He smiled happily and retreated to the camera where he bent his head and immediately engaged in conversation with a short, plump balding man who was fiddling with buttons here and there.

Quinn shook her head and glared at Rachel.

"Ew Berry now I have images of you being a cheerio stuck in my head"

Rachel smirked and waved a hand.

"Oh please you love it"

Quinn raised her eyebrow amused.

"Why because all lesbians find every woman in the world attractive?"

Rachel's smile remained.

"No, but this particular lesbian finds this particular woman attractive" she winked.

Quinn pursed her lips, trying not to laugh.

Rachel tilted her head to the side and pouted.

"So you don't find me attractive?"

Quinn's eyes widened comically.

"I didn't say that!"

"But you implied it."

"I wasn't implying anything!"

Rachel's pout widened and she lowered her gaze to the floor, scuffing adorably with her shoe.

"Fine, you don't find me attractive."

Quinn sighed, it was lose, lose at this point, she decided to just be honest.

"Ok your attractive, now can we please go do this scene so I can change out of this incredibly hot but still extremely creepy uniform?"

Rachel beamed and nodded, bouncing in place.

"Let's go!"

They walked on set and studied their new home for the next few months, it was the same class they used to have English in, same colour, same desks, same everything.

They sat beside each other at their old desks and began reading through the short scene they were going to be practicing.

Rachel was a fast reader and finished a little before Quinn, the scene was intense and you could feel the sexual tension leaping off the page, this was going to be ..interesting.

As she waited, she eyed the blonde, she was adorable when she read, her brow lightly furrowed, her concentration total and every few seconds a pink tongue with peak out as though she was literally trying to wrap it around the word she was reading.

_Why am I thinking about her tongue ..?_

Quinn choose that moment to look up and Rachel quickly tried to quell her oncoming blush.

"So that was intense huh?"

Rachel's eyes came to rest on those hazel orbs she could never seem to leave.

"Yeah, intense."

Quinn suddenly shifted in her seat looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Look Rachel, I know that you said you were fine with doing the kiss and everything I just want to make sure there will be no weirdness between us, I promise not to jump your bones or anything." She half-joked nervously.

Rachel smiled at her thoughtfulness.

"Quinn it's not my first time kissing another woman"

The blonde raised her eyebrow and the Rachel blushed.

"College" she offered as way of explanation.

"Ahh of course" giggled Quinn at the embarrassed girl, "I'm just really glad we're friends now and I don't want anything to mess it up"

"Hey I promise nothing will be weird. Zero weirdness okay?"

Quinn bobbed her head in relief.

"Okay."

"I guess we should get ready for the scene"

"Yeah"

**XX**

The two girls stood feet apart, trying desperately to keep their cool, this was it.

"Okay ladies let's start on my mark okay?"

They both nodded, straightening their posture and reigning in their emotions.

He counted them down from three and yelled;

"Action!"

Rachel twisted her features to make it look like she was infuriated with Quinn.

"What the hell is your problem with me? Why do you feel the need to criticize everything I do?"

Quinn glared at Rachel, allowing the anger to control her.

"Because your a freak and as head cheerleader I feel the need to tell you that. Now why don't you run along to your little boyfriend and tell him that the mean blonde scared you and watch him do nothing about it!"

Rachel ground her teeth together in frustration taking a step forward.

"You leave James out of this, it's got nothing to do with him!"

"It has everything to do with him, he's a complete waste of space, he never sticks up for you, why are you even with him you could do so much better than James freaking Mulqueen"

Rachel froze in place, watching Quinn as she pretended to regret what she just said.

"What did you just say?"

Quinn's eyes widened dramatically and she brushed past the shocked girl, trying to escape as fast as possible.

"Never mind"

Rachel grabbed her hand and spun her around.

"Oh no you don't, you don't just say something like that and then leave, what did you mean?"

Quinn spun around with such venom in her gaze that Rachel was frightened before she remembered this was just her acting.

_God she's good._

"Fine you wanna hear it Jones?"

Rachel just nodded.

"He's a dick and a cheater and you deserve better than him. Do you even know that he cheats on you every party he goes to with that Amy girl from the cheerio's? No you didn't because he's never there. He never sticks up for you and he never protects you." She moved closer to the brunette, her eyes burning in desperation, the last part coming out much softer than she had meant "why are you even with him?"

Rachel dropped her head and allowed the tears to pool in her eyes, it had always been one of her trademarks as an actress, the ability to cry on cue.

"I'm with him because I love him"

Quinn took another step.

"Bullshit"

Rachel's head snapped up and she glared at Quinn with everything she had, exploding in the fiercest of ways.

"You know what that is "bullshit", I'm with James because I have no one else. Does that make you happy Kate? To hear that the only reason I'm with my boyfriend Is because I'm terrified of being alone, I have no friends, my family don't give a crap about me and James is nice sometimes. Who the hell would want to be with me even If I do break up with him. I'm a loser, a nobody."

She finally collapsed into a nearby seat, sobbing into her sleeve.

Kate and Quinn were heartbroken at the sight.

Quinn moved forward until their knees were touching. Rachel jumped at the warm contact.

"Go please, just leave me alone, you got what you wanted, you broke me."

Quinn's heart pounded, the kiss was seconds away, Rachel must have realized too because her hand was shaking.

Her next line was a whisper.

"I'd want you"

Rachel's head shot up and she studied Quinn through tear-filled eyes.

"What?"

Quinn moved closer.

"I said I want you. I've always wanted you, your the most beautiful person in this dump"

Rachel fell silent, this was it.

She watched as Quinn licked her lips, her eyes drifting down slowly to her lips and inching closer. Rachel mimicked her actions unconsciously y and Quinn closed the distance further, the set was dead silent, the only sound coming from their erratic breathing as they got closer and closer.

Quinn finally bridged the gap and smashed their lips together, immediately wrapping her arms around the brunette's slender neck and leaning into her. Rachel pretended to resist at first, but ultimately gave in, moaning into the blonde's mouth and tugging her waist, bringing Quinn impossibly closer. Closing her eyes she surrendered herself completely to the moment and ran her tongue lightly across Quinn's bottom lip, the blonde moaned and granted her access revelling in the feeling.

And suddenly Rachel felt something click, something familiar about the intensity of this kiss. Something familiar about the way her heart beat faster, her palms grew sweaty and she never wanted it to stop. Her eyes went wide and she pulled back, heaving as she tried to regain the breath that Quinn stole.

She studied Quinn's hazel eyes as they too grew wide. Her swollen lips falling open in a perfect O.

And they both finally remembered.

This was not their first kiss.


	14. Stuck with eachother

**Authors note: So I saw that a few people were requesting an update so here you go :) Please review with your comments and as a special request, I was wondering if you could also comment on whether or not you would like to see some more Glee clubbers thrown into the mix.**

**XX**

Rachel stormed off blindly making her way to the trailers, a nervous Quinn trailing her reluctantly. The brunette finally located the trailer and yanked the door aside and stomped in, waiting for Quinn to enter so she could slam the door.

Quinn flinched as the door clanged shut and she avoided eye contact with the pacing girl before her.

Rachel seemed to be beyond words at the moment so she simply continued pacing, trying to form a coherent sentence, it was a whirlwind of emotions and she couldn't decided exactly how she felt, not that she was digging to far. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. Eventually she came to a stop and glared at Quinn.

"You."

Quinn started and stared back.

"Me?"

Rachel simply nodded.

"You kissed me."

The blonde frowned, clearly annoyed.

"What do you mean I kissed you, I was under the impression it was a mutual thing. It was just a kiss, no big deal, hell we kissed five minutes ago."

Rachel's eyes bugged and she resumed her erratic pacing.

"Just a kiss? Oh no Quinn, I am not gay, I know everybody made snide comments about the status of my sexuality in High School because of my two gay dads but I can assure you that I am a hundred percent straight."

"I never said you were gay." Sighed Quinn getting slightly dizzy watching the brunette's frenzied laps of the enclosed space. "All I said was that we kissed, I don't see what the big deal is. We were both drunk, it was a mistake, that's it."

Rachel glanced at the blonde who was gazing at her hands folded gently in her lap.

"Y-your right, I was drunk and I didn't know what I was doing. It was a mistake"

Quinn smiled faintly.

"Yeah, you just made a mistake"

Rachel took note of how Quinn said _you _and if she was in her normal state she would have questioned it, but right now she was scared, she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to feel it. The kiss had been a mistake, but the flashbacks unnerved her, she remembered the overwhelming feeling of happiness the moment their lips had met.

_It was just the alcohol, a drunken mistake._

The brunette didn't know what to say.

In the end Quinn got up and said she needed to get home, a lie she didn't have to tell.

Rachel sighed and sat in her trailer trying to ignore the thoughts that pinged against her brain every few seconds.

Some even pinged off her heart, she ignored the vibrations.

**XX**

Quinn opened the door to her empty apartment and collapsed on the couch, staring into space. Rachel's reaction had upset her, sure they had kissed, but was it really that terrible that she needed to go off in a tantrum about it?

Maybe she made a mistake coming back into Rachel's life, becoming her friend. She had always been fascinated by the brunette, even in High School, she knew things about her that nobody else did, because she actually found that she was listening when she spoke, instead of tuning her out and nodding at the appropriate moments like everyone else did, including Mr Schue.

Quinn admired Rachel, admired her for never breaking down even when she was slushied for the third time in a row and being shoved against lockers by moronic apes like Karofsky. She didn't want to lose her, she had felt something with Rachel, something she had only seen glimpses of before, with Puck and Finn.

She knew Rachel didn't feel the same way, she thought she had seen it in the brunette's eyes sometimes, a softness that seemed to be there only for her, and then she would blink and it was gone, replaced by a cautious gaze that was unwilling to trust, it was that gaze that had a long memory and remembered what Quinn used to be like.

And it killed her. It killed her that she was being judged by her past, it killed her that she had a past to be judged on. She used to be a bad person, but she had changed, unfortunately she was writing her life in pen, not pencil, she couldn't erase the memories, she could however outnumber the bad one's with good ones which is what she had been trying to do for the last two weeks. She remembered the look of shock and fear that had appeared on the brunette's face as she remembered the kiss.

And then ..

Quinn started singing miserably.

_And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like .._

She clamped her mouth closed.

She couldn't finish that sentence.

**XX **

Rachel got home three hours later, her head was pounding from all the thinking and she had barely scratched the surface. She needed a drink.

Was it just her or was she getting drunk a lot more frequently since Quinn came back into her life.

Dragging her exhausted feet into the kitchen, she ransacked the cupboards and eventually located a bottle of whiskey.

_Score. _

She uncorked it and drank straight from the bottle, wincing as the liquid burned a fiery path down her throat and pooled warmly in her stomach. Her eyes fell on chair Quinn had occupied the night before and she sat beside it, gazing at the slight curve of the cushion.

She was anger with herself for overreacting, they had gotten drunk and kissed. Friends did that all the time right? Just a friendly mistake, right?

_Right._

She sighed and took another swig of the amber liquid. If it was so normal, why was it affecting her like this? She had kissed girls before and shrugged it off as nothing, but this was sticking in her brain, wrapping around her memory and not letting go. She wanted to get past this, she had to, she couldn't lose Quinn. She was too important to her now.

She gazed sadly at her small companion and swished the liquid around, watching it swirl and swish. She really should put this away before she got drunk.

**2 hours later ..**

Rachel cackled and slapped thin air in mirth. She wiped her eyes and gazed at the chair.

"Oh Quinn you crack me up"

The chair stared back, motionless.

Rachel snorted and then grew serious, staring half lidded at the chair.

"You know, I'm sorry about how I acted today."

_If your sorry, then why did you do it?_

Tilting her head to the side she frowned, this chair/Quinn was good at making her feel bad. Somewhere in her drunken haze she realized that she was talking to herself, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

"I don't know why."

_Yes you do._

Rachel eyed the chair angrily.

"Fine I just didn't want to mess up the first real friendship I have ever had okay?"

_And?_

"And nothing. That's it, the big reveal ta-da"

_You don't really believe that do you?_

The brunette opened her mouth and closed it again. Thinking hard.

"I ..I guess-"

She jumped suddenly as the phone rang beside her. Cursing whoever it was, she lazily picked it up and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rachel, how was your run-through today?"

Rachel thought of the kiss. And Quinn's cheerleading uniform.

"It was ..strange. Strange and ..well yeah just strange"

She could hear Emily huff.

"Rachel are you drunk again?"

"I most certainly am not. No. I'm not, no." She shook her head as though the redhead was standing before her.

"Is there anybody in the house with you?"

"No Emily, Quinn's not here."

_I wish she was here. _

"Emily could you do me a favour?"

"As long as you stop drinking right now"

Rachel stared at the empty bottle.

"Deal."

**XX**

Rachel fell out of the car and stumbled her way to the familiar doorway, Emily shadowing her nervously from behind.

The brunette noticed her and frowned.

"Thank you Emily, you may go now."

"I don't think that's a good idea"

"I want to do this on my own, please just go."

Emily looked unhappy but made her way back to the car, watching Rachel until she was out of sight.

The brunette thought her concern was unwarranted but appreciated it all the same. She fell against the door and to her shock, it opened.

_Hmm smooth Rachel, now where the hell do I go?_

Spotting the lift, she quickly hurried inside and stabbed the button, humming as she went. She studied her face in the reflective surface, and came to the conclusion that she was really drunk.

She was sure she was making the right decision though. She thought.

_I hope._

The elevator binged to a stop and she waited impatiently for the sliding doors to part, squeezing out before they were fully open. Walking unsteadily towards the end of the hall she finally reached her destination and knocked on the door until her knuckles hurt.

She stopped breathing when she heard the pitter patter of feet approaching.

The door finally opened and Rachel squinted against the bright light.

Quinn's eyes widened as she took in the obviously intoxicated brunette.

"Rachel what are you-?"

Rachel cut her off halfway through.

"I can't. I won't actually."

"What?"

" Let you go."

**XX**

Quinn led the brunette into her apartment and shut the door, laying her gently on the couch where she lay unmoving, her breathing deep and slow, her eyes fixed on bright hazel.

The blonde didn't know what to say, she took a seat, keeping their gazes firmly locked. Rachel propped herself up on an elbow and surveyed Quinn neutrally.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I'm here?"

Quinn shook her head.

"Why not?"

"Your drunk Rachel."

"I speak more truth when I'm drunk then when I'm sober, you should know that by now."

Quinn sighed, was this really happening right now.

"Ok fine. Why are you here?"

Rachel smiled faintly at the surrender.

"I'm here, because I want to be."

Quinn frowned.

"Okay?"

"No Quinn you don't understand, I want to be here. I don't know why but that kiss scared me, I'm not ready for my life to change, I'm not ready for this" she pointed between the two of them as way of explanation.

The blonde smiled sadly, she knew Rachel would never remember this conversation in the morning.

"I was angry with you today. I was angry with you for making me feel things I shouldn't feel. I'm not gay, but that doesn't seem to apply to you. As soon as you leave I miss you, hell I miss you right now and your here. I can't do this, I need you to be my friend right now. If we got together and you left, I would fall apart, that's why I can't do it, I can't lose you."

Quinn's smile faltered slightly and she struggled to keep her voice even, she finally broke eye contact and lowered her gaze to the floor.

"Yeah, of course. I want that too, I want us to be ..friends again. I don't like this awkwardness between us."

Rachel beamed and sat up straighter, sliding the moment she got comfortable.

"Good. Cause your like the best friend I ever had."

Quinn smiled but remained silent. The clock ticked quietly in the background and soon she heard Rachel's breathing grow deep and even.

She glanced up at the brunette and sure enough she was dozing lightly on the couch, her mouth slightly agape, her hair hanging like a curtain about her face.

_Your the best I ever had too._

**XX**

Rachel woke up the next morning with a pounding head and no recollection of what happened. She was getting tired of these black outs, tired of masking everything with alcohol. Where the hell was she?

Studying her surroundings blearily, her eyes fell upon a familiar picture and she knew where she was.

Quinn's apartment.

Sure enough as she took in more of the room, she spotted Quinn sleeping on a nearby couch, her body stretched across the entire length, her pink lips parted, her lids fluttering. Why was it that Quinn was always somehow involved in these drunken escapades, she needed a break from this.

She looked at the sleeping girl again.

_I need a break from her._

Silently, she got to her feet and ghosted to the door, her heart beating wildly, praying that Quinn wouldn't wake up. She sighed in relief as the door closed softly behind her and she opened her phone to call Emily, she needed to get home and think.

Or to forgot. She didn't know anymore.

Emily pulled up ten minutes later and took in the brunette's haggard appearance.

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm not sure" came the reply, as Rachel turned to stare out the window.

"How did I get here last night?"

Emily looked round in surprise, Rachel elaborated.

"I mean did Quinn ask me to come over or ..?"

"You asked me to bring you here."

Rachel nodded.

"I thought so." And turned back to face the window.

They pulled into the long creeping driveway minutes later and Emily grabbed Rachel arm when she moved to open the door. The brunette looked back, surprised.

"What?"

Emily seemed to fidget for a moment before deciding to just come out and say it.

"Are you okay? I mean, you have been drinking quite a lot."

_What are you my Dad?_

"I'm fine, thank you." She replied curtly, opening the door and escaping the judgemental stare.

She finally made it to the front door and shut the world out, collapsing against the door and sliding miserably to the floor, she needed to make a decision, she had to do something. Anything.

She stared at the back of the couch, her eyes unfocused as she weighed her options. She could remain the same as she was now, continue drinking and forgetting, kissing and regretting. Or option two, time apart, maybe they needed a break from each other, at least until the movie started production for real, it might allow them to clear the air and take a breather.

Eventually she stood up and went to the kitchen, her eyes immediately falling on the empty whiskey bottle. Then and there, she made her decision.

**XX**

Rachel knew that they both needed to visit the set the next day so that Gerry could talk to them about their upcoming schedule, and she decided to tell Quinn then.

Hopping in her car, she drove the short distance to the set and made her way inside to find Gerry, expecting Quinn to be there already as she was running a bit late this morning.

Sure enough as soon as she spotted Gerry's bald shining head, she also spotted silky blonde beside it. Making her way towards the duo, she avoided Gerry's warm gaze and greeted them, plastering a smile across her face and trying to hint to Quinn that they needed to talk.

"Um, Quinn could I talk to you for a moment?"

The blonde nodded.

"Sure" she was nervous, she hadn't seen the brunette since the other night and Rachel had seemingly slipped out of the apartment before she woke up the next morning.

They walked towards the edge of the set and faced each other awkwardly.

"So?" prompted the blonde unsurely.

Rachel smiled guiltily.

"Quinn I think we should spend some time apart"

The blonde's smile disappeared and a flash of hurt went through her hazel eyes.

"Look it's not you really. It's just well ..I have had so much fun these past couple of weeks and everything .."

Quinn frowned unhappily.

"But?"

"But that ..kiss, it's made things awkward, I understand that it was just a one off thing that shouldn't have happened, it's just, our friendship has sort of blended together so much that I find it hard too .." she paused searching for the right words, "too know when enough is enough, because I never feel like I can get enough of us together, and between friends, that's not right is it?"

The blonde sighed and shook her head.

"I suppose your right. If that's what you want, then we can maybe take a break from each other for awhile."

Rachel nodded. She was far from happy, but she was relying on Quinn more and more and she couldn't take the risk that she could wake up one day and the blonde wouldn't be there. She was terrified that Quinn would move or get a new job or a new ..friend. She needed to be able to cope on her own, just in case.

"Hug?"

Quinn smiled and accepted the hug, her arms immediately wrapping around the brunette's waist and pulling her flush against her body, revelling in the warmth, trying to memorize everything, she wouldn't be getting this close again for awhile.

Rachel tried to hold it together as she rested her head heavily on the blonde's shoulder, she breathed in the sweet lilac scent and wondered why the hell she thought time and space was a good idea.

They reluctantly pulled apart, smiling unhappily at each other.

"So I guess we should get back to Gerry?"

Rachel simply nodded and they made their way back to the waiting man.

_This is good. Just what I need, I'm not attracted to Quinn, I'm just latching on to her because she's always there. And the kiss ..well the kiss was just a mistake, not happening again. Plenty of space is good. It's good._

She tuned in just as Gerry was finishing his speech.

"so as I was saying before you two will be going on a tour of America to promote your movie, so get used to being stuck together for the next couple of weeks" he smiled oblivious.

Rachel frowned.

_Crap._


	15. The fear

**A/N: So sorry for the delay, I had a wild couple of nights and then some rather severe hangovers. This chapter is basically a little insight into Rachel's fear, without giving too much away. So enjoy and as always please review I appreicate every bit of feedback I receive. It means a lot.**

**XX**

Rachel opened the door and sighed wearily. There, waiting in her perfectly kempt driveway was a shiny black limousine, Quinn waving sheepishly from the open window.

This was yet another one of Gerry's brilliant ideas. Sharing a limo as they travelled from city to city, he said it was the perfect opportunity to bond with each other and fully understand how they were going to portray their respective characters. Little did he know how much they had actually "bonded". Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

Pulling the door shut behind her, the brunette slowly made her way to the car, handing her suitcase to the eager chauffeur as she went, which he carefully deposited in the carnivorous booth.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and slide in, shooting Quinn a sheepish grin as she did. Quinn returned the smile but otherwise remained silent.

Rachel groaned internally. This was going to be awkward.

Eventually, after a few moments of silence, Quinn broke the silence.

"You know I asked Gerry to let us take our own cars but –"

Rachel held a hand up and the blonde fell silent immediately.

"It's fine, really I don't mind."

Quinn frowned lightly and turned in her seat, facing the brunette properly for the first time.

"Really? Because It seemed like you do mind. What happened to space, time and all that?"

Rachel forced herself not to automatically shift closer to the blonde and instead settled for clenching her hands together, trying to find the words to explain why she needed Quinn to keep her distance.

"I don't want to be apart from you Quinn."

The blonde raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Rachel ploughed on resolutely.

"I don't, I just need to be apart from ..this" she pointed at both of them in turn.

"It's not healthy for us to spend so much time together, heck three weeks ago we couldn't stand each other."

Quinn's eyebrows mashed together in confusion, she still didn't understand why Rachel was acting this way.

"But ..we're friends. That's what friends do, they hang out"

Rachel's gaze lowered once more.

"Friends don't kiss other friends."

Quinn rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Rachel we already talked about this, it was a mistake, a stupid drunken mistake that should never have happened, I don't understand how it affects you this much. I'm over it."

"Be that was it may, It was a mistake that I don't want to repeat. Which is why I believe that time apart will be good for us."

Quinn turned to face the front mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like.

"not a married couple.."

Rachel's gaze softened as she took in the aggravated blonde, she knew she was hurting her feelings and it killed her. But this was for the best, she couldn't get to close to Quinn. She didn't want to get hurt.

"Look Quinn you obviously don't agree with me but just listen to this one last question, you don't even have to answer it."

Quinn nodded briefly and continued her inspection of the wood panelling that separated them from the driver.

"You used to hang around with Brittany and Santana every week before I came along. Since we started becoming friends, how many times have you hung around with them or even called them to say "hi" since our dinner at the restaurant last week?"

Quinn turned to look at the brunette, her eyes widening slightly.

That was all Rachel needed to answer her question, and they both fell silent listening to the faint hum of the engine.

**XX**

Quinn was mentally berating herself, Rachel was right, since the brunette came along she barely had time for her old friends anymore. She spent the majority of her time with the shorter girl, and when she wasn't with her she was thinking of what they would do the next time they did hang out. In the space of a few short weeks her entire life seemed to orbit around Rachel Berry, it was a little ironic, high school Rachel thought she was the centre of the universe. She was partially right, she was Quinn's.

In her heart, she knew the brunette spoke only the truth, their relationship had been teetering past friendship for a while now, she had ignored the signs, tried to bury old feelings, convince herself that an infantile crush in High school was not resurfacing with adult Rachel. And yet here she was, beating heart, sweaty palm, hyper sensitive to the mere inches that separated both of their hands on the cool leather seats. She found herself doing what she used to do in Glee club when she was bored, slowing her breathing so that it matched the brunette's own. It was silly and childish but it felt nice to be in sync, for a little while anyway.

Who was she kidding? Quinn knew the moment she had seen Rachel at that first meeting with Gerry that she was a goner. She had forced herself to remain calm, but inside she was fizzling like a firework, the girl she thought she had left firmly in the past alongside Lima, was now clawing her way back with a vengeance, and Quinn let it happen. She let it happen, because really, she didn't even want to fight it. She knew what she wanted. But so did Rachel.

And that was the problem.

**XX**

Rachel watched Quinn covertly from the corner of her eye, the blonde seemed to be deep in thought, she was biting her lip, a rather endearing mannerism the brunette had noticed in High school. Actually, she noticed a lot of things about Quinn in High school, she didn't like to admit it because well, Quinn hated her and everybody knew it. But the brunette had always found Quinn fascinating, she was utterly unpredictable, wholly irrational, and just plain exciting. Everything that Finn in fact, was not. She found herself watching the blonde when she thought nobody else was looking, intrigued by the blonde's casual treatment of all her boyfriends, she seemed to use them as collectors items rather than actual people. People that she supposedly loved.

I guess it made sense now, lack of interest in boyfriends, president of the celibacy club. It all led to her being gay, Rachel had simply never thought about it before, I mean they already had Brittany and Santana as the resident gay couple, not to mention Kurt and his "friend" Blaine in Walton academy. She supposed this was just another piece of the Quinn Fabray puzzle. One that she had slowly begun to solve, why exactly she felt the need to do this she didn't know. And this is what frightened her. She was taking a keen interest in everything Quinn-related, and it freaked her out because, Rachel Berry was not gay. Just because she had two gay dads did not automatically mean that she would be the same. She was painfully reminded of this fact everyday by Karofsky.

_Rachel had just finished yet another powerful rendition of Funny Girl in the auditorium and she happily made her way to her locker, the school was empty as it was after hours and she relished in the freedom she had, no slushies, no cheerios, just her and the walls._

_Or so she thought._

_She should have heard him coming, he was a big guy and he made a lot of noise with that moronic mouth of his, but her head was in her locker and she was humming, her ears weren't honed for approaching danger as they would be during the school day. This gave him the advantage._

"_What up queer?" snarled Karofsky, smirking cruelly as she jumped in surprise._

_Recovering, she tried to act nonchalant as she returned her gaze to the books she had to get._

"_First of all, I am not a lesbian, and secondly Kurt told me that you tried to kiss him, so technically that would make you the "queer" Dave." _

_She regretted the words as soon as he landed his first punch. Squealing in surprise and fright she clutched her throbbing cheek as hot tears streamed down her face._

_He smirked wider and slammed her against the locker._

"_Look whatever the gay boy has told you is lies ,I'm not gay. And as for you dyke" she spat nastily in her face as she trembled and shook beneath his bulky frame._

"_Your probably gayer than he is, haven't you got two gay dads? That automatically makes you a rug munching slut, as if two queers could raise a normal kid."_

_He moved his face closer to hers, his breath hot upon her pale face. She shut her eyes, expecting another blow._

"_You mark my words. You're a queer, and the next time you check out another chick you'll remember that I was right. Right about your queer dads, right about Kurt, and right about you."_

_Shoving her one last time, he shoved his hands deep into his pockets and calmly left the school._

_Rachel shrunk to the ground, trembling with shock and fear._

_The next day, she didn't try to look at Quinn. _

_The day after that, she lost her virginity to Finn._

Rachel shivered uncomfortably as she replayed the scene in her head, she hadn't thought about that in a long time. She felt eyes on her and turned to see Quinn gazing softly at her.

The brunette looked down and noted the close proximity of their hands.

She pulled hers away and settled it in her lap, squeezing her palms together.

He wasn't right. He wasn't.

**XX**

After a while the car pulled in at their hotel and they climbed out, grateful for the chance to stretch their legs.

The chauffeur pulled their bags from the booth and set them down neatly beside them.

"Welcome to Arizona" he smiled.

They returned the gesture and he left them to it.

The girls approached the front desk and Rachel politely requested her room key, Gerry had already taken care of the rooms and the friendly receptionist handed them both a key and they set off for the elevator together.

Once at the doors they realized they would be getting in together.

"You first."

"No you.

"I insist."

"Well I insist harder."

Eventually they both managed to squeeze inside the small elevator at the same time and Quinn pressed number four. The steel box sprang to life and they felt the motion of themselves being shunted upwards towards their destination.

The silence was awkward and as soon as the doors open they both clambered out eagerly, looking for their respective rooms.

Quinn got there first.

"Um Rachel?"

"Yes?"

"What room number are you?"

The brunette looked at her key card.

"122, why?"

The blonde held out her own key card.

"I'm 123."

They both smiled awkwardly.

"Oh well, it's not like we have to share a room or anything" the brunette attempted to joke.

They both giggled nervously and Rachel shuffled forward and swiped her key card in the slot. The light turned green and she turned to face Quinn who had just done the same.

" I guess I'll see you later?"

The blonde simply nodded and they both entered their respective rooms, Rachel sighing in relief as the last of the awkwardness washed away.

Shoving her suitcase to one side, she took in the room. It was nice, a rather large open space for the king sized bed, crisp white linen folded neatly at every corner. Two chairs and a small table sat in the corner of the room, a stack of newspapers already sitting upon them, ready to be read.

Walking around she peeped through the bathroom door and nodded her satisfaction at the spotless white marble room.

Turning full circle she spotted two more doors behind her, she approached cautiously and opened the first. It turned out to be a rather large closet, complete with a brush and hoover.

She then turned her attention to the next door, she stared at it, silently contemplating it's purpose. What else could there be?

Curiosity overcame her and she slowly reached forward, turning the handle and pulling it open. At first she thought she had entered a whole other room just for herself and she mentally thanked Gerry, but then she saw Quinn.

The blonde was sitting on the bed staring at Rachel in shock.

They both raised an eyebrow.

_He got us con-joining rooms? Really?_


	16. Secret garden

**Authors note: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't hate me? I had such bad writers block. I finally broke through it today and rushed home to update. Please review if you still like me.**

**PS. There was a slight hiccup with FF and it accidentally posted the same chapter twice, so for all of you confused this is the new chapter. Sorry for any inconvenience caused!**

**XX**

Rachel squealed as though she had just walked in on a naked Quinn, and spun around, shutting her eyes in embarrassment.

Quinn looked on in amusement, Rachel always did have a flair for the dramatics.

"I'm so sorry Quinn, I didn't realize-"

"That we had adjoining rooms?"

Rachel nodded, then remembered that Quinn couldn't see her face and answered.

"Yes."

"It is slightly ridiculous. Next thing you know Gerry will be cutting us with a big knife and asking us to be blood sisters."

Rachel chuckled despite herself, her small body vibrating as she stared blankly at the wall.

Quinn smiled at the amused reaction and cleared her throat.

"You can turn around you know? Surely I'm not that hideous, I was sure I had a few years left before I retired and skulked back to Lima."

Rachel immediately whipped round, her eyes locking on Quinn.

"You could never be hideous Quinn?" she replied quietly.

Quinn had been joking when she said it, but the reply was sweet all the same. She fiddled with a loose thread on her sweater and blushed lightly.

"Thank you"

Rachel for her part, seemed to have finally realized that she had spoken aloud and instantly turned a light shade of pink, starting to wander aimlessly about the room in an effort to calm down. It was working right up until Quinn asked her next question.

"So how you feel about sleeping next to me?"

Rachel choked on air and her cheeks burned crimson once more.

To Quinn's horror, she realized what she just implied and quickly attempted to clarify that she was not propositioning the shorter girl.

"Oh no, god, I mean room-wise. Because you know we sleep ..our rooms are next to each other so.."

"And I thought that I had a penchant for rambling incoherently?"

Quinn smiled sheepishly.

"I use it when I need to."

Rachel smirked and pushed out from the wall she had been casually leaning against, her hand on the handle, ready to swing the door shut behind her.

"To answer your original question, no I don't mind sleeping beside you."

Quinn raised an eyebrow.

Rachel didn't clarify.

"We should get ready for the meet and greet" and with that, she was gone.

Leaving Quinn to stare at the door in wonderment.

**XX**

Rachel shivered as the warm water washed over her every surface, tickling and trailing a pathway to the drain beneath.

She was pretty sure she had just flirted with Quinn Fabray.

_Okay, so I'm sure I flirted with Quinn._

The flirting itself wasn't anything new or shocking, the two some had admittedly been outrageously suggestive lately. The thing that was bugging her, was her complete lack of willpower. She had made up her mind on the ride here. She was going to avoid Quinn Fabray like the plague, she was going to get her space goddamit. Ten minutes in and she was practically inviting herself into the blonde's bed.

She hit her head gently off the cool tile wall.

She felt as stupid as Finn right now, and that was saying something.

All she had to do was get through one night, one night and they would be on the move, to a different hotel, one that hopefully didn't have adjoining rooms.

Turning off the shower and wrapping a towel around her soaking body, the brunette turned to look in the mirror.

Squinting, she realized it had fogged up and she absentmindedly reached a hand out to wipe it clean.

As she worked, she thought of Quinn in the next room, lying on the bed, or gazing out the window, or perhaps drawing non-sensical pattern on the foggy mirror like she was right now.

Abruptly, Rachel snapped out of her trance and allowed her hand to fall gently to her side, as she stared at the cold reflective surface.

She had drawn a heart.

**XX**

Quinn put the finishing touches to her makeup and stood, her eyes scanning the room for forgotten items. Deciding that she was as prepared as she was going to get, she grabbed her bag and excited the room.

Spotting the elevator, she pressed the button and listened as it jolted to life, hurtling her way on command. Eventually, with a bing it reached her floor and the doors parted.

Stepping inside, she pressed the button for the lobby and waited patiently, she had always loved elevators. As a kid, she could never figure out how a small metal box could close on one floor and open on another as though by magic in a matter of seconds. Of course she understood the mechanics now, but it still failed to erase the knowing smile she adopted every time she stepped into one.

She was awoken from her memory when a hand appeared in the small gap the door had been swallowing up, immediately the doors sprang apart and in stepped a distracted Rachel Berry, mumbling to herself as she rooted around in the never-ending handbag.

Quinn decided to go with it.

Standing directly behind Rachel. She adopted her generic boy voice.

"Hey, aren't you Rachel Berry?"

The brunette simply responded "uh-huh" and continued her exploration of the bag.

Quinn's eyes lit up in mirth.

"I'm a huge fan, you think I could get an autograph?"

Rachel huffed at her fruitless search.

"Umm..sure. You got a pen?"

Quinn silently handed the pen over her shoulder as Rachel produced a small sheet of paper from within the depths of her handbag.

Leaning it against the wall, she hastily uncorked the pen with her teeth and began to write, pausing after a moment to mumble over her shoulder at the hysterical Quinn.

"Who should I make it out to?"

Quinn searched her brain wildly for a name and cleared her throat.

"Uh ..Charlie?"

The brunette nodded and went back to work, looping the words gracefully across the page, still completely oblivious to the blonde's true identity. Eventually, she held the paper over her shoulder for Quinn to take.

"Here you go"

The brunette was once again fumbling with her bag, attempting to zip it up. Quinn decided to push her luck, coming right up behind the brunette and melding her body flush against Rachel's warm body, she husked in her ear.

"How can I ever repay you?"

Rachel stiffened and Quinn pulled away slightly, worried that she had gone to far. Suddenly, the brunette reached back and wound a hand around her waist, pulling Quinn tighter against her, tilting her head back, she whispered.

"I'm sure you can think of a way. Be creative."

Quinn's jaw hit the floor and she started opening and closing her mouth in an effort to get words out, any words. Just as the blonde was seriously considering taking Rachel right there and then, the elevator opened and the brunette pulled away and without looking back she said.

"I'd love to play all day, but we've got some work to do" and swaggered away.

The blonde gaped after her, then lifted the note to eye level and started to read.

_**I would notice that perfume anywhere Fabray, x**_

**XX**

The two girls, still laughing, made their way to the limo which sat dawdling outside awaiting them. Sliding in, Quinn studied the brunette in fascination.

"So you knew it was me the whole time?"

Rachel smirked.

"Yep."

"Just from my perfume?"

Rachel shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"There were other signs .."

"Like what?"

"Like ..just signs okay?"

Quinn chuckle lightly at the embarrassed brunette as she realized just how stalkerish she sounded.

"Well it is quite a distinctive smell, and we were in an enclosed space"

"Chill Berry, if it makes you feel any better, I knew it was you just from your hand in the doorway."

Rachel smiled slightly.

"You did?"

"I did."

"How?"

"You have tiny hands."

Rachel glared at Quinn, glancing worriedly at her hands.

"I'll have you know that my hands are of average proportions."

"No they're not. But it's okay, I think they're cute"

"You do?" asked the brunette, studying her hands uncertainly.

Quinn smiled.

"I do."

They smiled at each other in silence, Rachel's questionably sized hands wringing together nervously. She felt like she needed to repay the compliment, but how? Did she compliment her hands in turn, or maybe her hair? Was that going to far? She did have nice hair ..

Quinn watched carefully as Rachel's light smile shifted to a frown and her leg started jangling irritated. The brunette had gone from laid-back to freak out in a matter or moments.

Quinn gently placed a hand on her knee and Rachel looked up.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Rachel concentrated on the feel of Quinn's fingers lightly tracing circles on her knee and sighed. She gazed at the floor, trying to figure out how to explain it.

"Do you ever feel like sometimes you just have so many thoughts crammed in your head that you might just explode?"

Quinn knew exactly what she was talking about, being gay meant seeing the world in an entirely different way. She had thought that nothing would change except for her preference in sexual partners, but, the more she thought about it the more she realized how much she had actually changed.

She nodded.

Rachel half-smiled, relieved that she didn't think she was crazy.

"Sometimes I just feel like getting rid of some of them, just so I won't be so overwhelmed."

Quinn immediately blurted out the first thing that came into her head.

"Like Harry Potter."

Rachel frowned, Quinn mentally face palmed at her own dorkiness.

"What?"

"Oh there's this magical basin thing in Harry Potter that ..I thought maybe ..you know what never mind."

Rachel nodded, still confused.

Quinn was still ashamed of how dorky she just sounded.

"But I do know what you mean, I used to have so much crap circling my brain. It used to drive me crazy."

Rachel perked up.

"Used to? You found a cure?"

"Well it's not magical or anything, but it does the trick."

"Feel like sharing?" the brunette pleaded desperately.

Quinn shrugged playfully.

"Hmm ..I don't know Rachel, with great power comes great responsibility"

Rachel pouted. Quinn giggled.

"Oh all right. Just leave it with me and soon you will be non-explosive" she winked, settling back into her seat and turning to look out the window just as they arrived at the mall.

Rachel took in the paparazzi lined entrance. She huffed in irritation, for the last few weeks she had been lulled into a false sense of security, she was barely photographed anymore, but now that she was going to be appearing in another big movie she was fair game once more.

Plastering a smile on her face she tapped Quinn and whispered in her ear.

"Let's go Charlie, show time"

**XX**

Rachel collapsed exhaustedly on her bed with a groan of satisfaction, the meet and greet had been nothing short of pandemic. Cameras everywhere, fans screaming hysterically, Quinn seemed even more uncomfortable then she felt.

When they had eventually broken through the crowd and entered the building, the lines of people were a little more orderly and quiet. For which she was deeply thankful.

Sitting side by side at a small table, the two had signed autographs and made small-talk with hundreds of strangers for over two hours. Rachel got a few flowers to which she smiled and kept by her side all day.

A random girl had proposed to Quinn using a pop ring, Quinn had giggled and posed for a picture with the overwhelmed girl, even going as far as putting the ring on her finger.

Rachel felt a stab of irrational jealously and glared at the ring. Whether Quinn noticed or not, she had pocketed the ring with a sheepish grin and Rachel felt better.

After the mall, they had grabbed some dinner and on the way back to the car, Quinn had said that she needed to run some errands and she would see her back at the hotel later. Rachel had simply nodded, too tired to wonder what "errand" it could be.

However, in the quiet of the hotel room, she found herself wallowing in curiosity.

_Why didn't she invite me along?_

After a few moments of fruitless wondering, she decided to just wait for Quinn to return. Changing into a t-shirt and a pair of short-shorts, she flipped through the channels idly, her eyes locked on the bedside clock.

**XX**

Eventually, half an hour later there was a timid knock on the door and Rachel bounded out of bed, sprinting to the door and then calming herself down so Quinn wouldn't know how eager she was to see her.

She started a ten second countdown in her head, when she made it to five she flung the door open and smiled.

There stood Quinn, a small package tucked beneath her arm, a broad grin on her lips.

"May I come in?"

Rachel quickly stepped aside.

"Of course."

Quinn came inside and perched on the edge of the bed, the package now resting gingerly on her lap.

Rachel hovered, unsure of why exactly the blonde was here. They hadn't agreed that she would come over in words, it was more of a silent admission that Rachel wanted her to be there.

"I guess you might be wondering where I disappeared to after dinner tonight?"

Rachel attempted to remain nonchalant.

"Oh not really ..I guess."

Quinn raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips.

Rachel looked at her expression.

"Alright, maybe I was."

Quinn simply nodded, satisfied.

The brunette was on edge, she really wanted to know.

"So ..where did you go?"

Quinn smiled at her.

"Remember your little problem?"

Rachel shifted from one foot to another.

"Yeah?"

The blonde held the package up.

"This here, is the solution."

Quinn produced a book-sized, leather bound journal from within the bag.

Rachel took it, confused and began flipping through the pages.

"It's empty."

"Right. Your the one who's going to fill it, with all those annoying thoughts clogging your brain."

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Write what's up there" she pointed at her temple, "and what's in there", she pointed at her heart. "As a great man once called it, a secret garden. We've all got one."

"Jesus?"

"No, Bruce Springsteen."

Rachel was touched.

"But I found yours today, you let me in on your secret." Smiled Rachel. "So it isn't really secret anymore."

"Ah there you have it. It's always good to share it with something" she pointed at the book.

"Or someone."


	17. Dear diary

**Authors note: Firstly I want to say that BandraK, although I read and appreciate every single review I receive, I always look forward to yours the most. It never fails to put a smile on my face, so thank you. Secondly, I must inform you that this chapter was written late at night, I woke up in a frenzy and had to get it down in words so there may be a few spelling mistakes. Please forgive me. Other than that, please enjoy and as always I look forward to your reviews.**

**XX**

_Dear diary,_

_We have just arrived in San Francisco, it's beautiful here, the hotel rooms are thankfully non-adjoining and I have successfully evaded Quinn for over two hours now. All is well._

_Dear diary,_

_I can't believe how ridiculous it is that I am lying to a inanimate object. The whole point of this exercise is to get to the root of my problems right? So I'm going to give you the real story. Like I said, we have just arrive in San Francisco, it is quite beautiful here, but it pales in comparison to Quinn. I mean, sometimes I just sit and stare at her, she's like an angel, flawless, perfect. And the scary thing is, I'm afraid that some day when I'm sitting and staring at her, I might never stop. That I'll just sit there forever, with the worlds most breath-taking view in front of me, I'll die in that spot, my eyes drinking her in until the last second, and I'll die happy. _

_The rooms are as I previously stated, non-adjoining, I miss it. I miss that there was nothing more than a door separating my bed and hers, it made me feel closer to her, so close I could almost reach out and touch her. But of course I would never do that, I'm not gay. I just appreciate her, that's all. What would my dads say if I ever told them I might be gay? They would be so disappointed in me, they spent my entire childhood convincing me that gay men could raise a straight child, that they could do everything that a straight couple could. They were so proud when I started dating Finn, quarterback, handsome and polite. It's the reason I stayed with him for so long. And grandchildren, oh dear god how they ramble about grandchildren, I could never be gay, I could never break their heart like that. Maybe I'm latching onto Quinn because she is the only person that actually means anything to me right now, maybe it's because we have a history together, I don't know. _

_The only reason I am writing this entry is because it has been over two hours since I last saw Quinn and I'm slowly going insane, I have fluffed pillows, taken a long shower, spent over twenty minutes straightening and primping my hair, and now I'm writing. I'm writing because it takes my mind off of her, if even for a little while. If I didn't have this book I have no doubt that I would already be in her room, sitting and staring. Thinking of my dads then guiltily looking away. _

_We have a meet and greet in half an hour, we will be side by side for over three hours. I'm totally screwed. I'm pretty sure that this positive attention is just the calm before the storm, that the press will somehow get wind of mine and Quinn's ..unfavourable past and dredge it up, shove it in our faces, again and again. Wonder aloud on MTV why two sworn enemies would suddenly become the best of friends. They would call us liars, state that our smiles and closeness are PR and that our friendship is unhealthy and strained. And no matter what we say, we can't change their minds, because in reality they don't care about the truth. They're lying to themselves._

_And maybe I am too._

Rachel was broken out of her feverish writing by a knock on her door, knowing it could only be one person, she quickly shut the book and shoved it deep under the mattress. Running to the mirror, she quickly checked herself for signs of guilt, twisting her features until they once again resembled the smiling, happy Rachel Berry that everybody seemed to like. Or at least tolerate.

Finally making her way to the door she swung it open and there stood Quinn, a broad grin plastered across her face.

"Hey Quinn, um ..come in."

The blonde shook her head.

"No that's okay, I was just coming to ask you if you wanted to go out later?"

"Like out to dinner? A club? Help me out here" she chuckled nervously.

Quinn tilted her head to the side and regarded the brunette silently.

"Both."

Rachel swallowed and quickly licked her lips, she didn't like the way Quinn's eyes were raking over her.

_Or maybe she did._

"Um, sure what time?"

"How about seven?"

"Perfect" squeaked Rachel as Quinn shifted perceptibly closer. The brunette could practically feel the heat emanating from her.

"Perfect" repeated Quinn, smirking as the brunette shivered lightly.

She wanted to kiss Rachel Berry again.

Just as Rachel was beginning to go weak at the knee, Quinn pulled back slightly and walked towards her own room.

"Later Berry."

Rachel cleared her throat and gently shook her head.

"L-later Quinn."

She watched the blonde until she had entered her own room and locked the door until she moved, darting backwards and slamming the door shut before sprinting to her make-shift hiding place and extracting the book.

Tearing open the cover she grabbed a pen and wrote one line and stared.

_I want to kiss Quinn Fabray._

She stared at the word _kiss _for a moment, remembering what it felt like to have the blonde's soft lips against her own, how her tongue felt velvet smooth as it danced seductively against her own. She had never had a kiss like that before, not with Finn, or Jesse, or even Puck.

After a few moments she picked up the fallen pen and angrily scribbled on the page, getting up and reaching for her phone in blind panic. She couldn't have dinner with Quinn alone, she was too weak for that, she needed help. Somebody to tell her that what she was doing was wrong, and she was just confused.

She needed a cockblocker.

"Hello, It's me."

"Yeah, it's nice here. Look I really need you to do me a favour."

Five minutes and a lot of grovelling later and Rachel laid down the phone with a sigh. Sitting on the edge of the bed she turned to glance at the last thing she had written.

I want to kiss Quinn Fabray.

She didn't know if she was still being honest or not.

**XX**

At half six on the dot, Rachel's door received a light rap and the brunette bounded off the bed and wrenched the door open before rushing the bewildered woman inside.

"Emily thank you so much for coming, you are a life saver!"

Emily shrugged.

"It's my job." She then surveyed the panicking brunette through narrowed eyes, "though I would feel better if you told me why I had to rush down here to be a third wheel"

Rachel eyed her nervously before pacing the room, wringing her hands in desperation. After a brief deliberation, she decided to just be honest, well partially honest at least and blurted it out.

"Quinn's gay."

Emily's mouth fell open in surprise.

"She's gay?"

Rachel merely nodded, searching the redhead's face for a sign of disgust or repulsion at the very thought.

"Well, that's a surprise. Does she have a girlfriend?"

Why was Emily so calm about this, a secret like this could ruin Quinn's career. Rachel leaned against the wall in confusion.

"No she doesn't."

Emily raised an eyebrow.

"Well that's a surprise."

Rachel frowned.

"What is?"

Emily simply looked at her.

"Oh come on Rachel, the woman is gorgeous, I'm surprised she hasn't got suitors lined up down the street"

Rachel thought about that.

"Well she never really talks about seeing people or anything, I mean she just got out of a long-term relationship a few months ago, but since then she's never really said anything at all about being interested in someone else"

"She's the type of girl that everybody in my high school would have had a crush on" mused Emily.

Rachel could attest to this. And suddenly she remembered.

"Actually I was wrong before."

"You mean she's not gay?"

"No, I mean yes she's gay. I meant about the whole interested in someone else bit, she did tell me a few weeks ago that the main reason she broke it off with Lea, is because she has liked someone else for a long time now."

Emily sat on the bed, watching Rachel think.

"How long are we talking here? Do you think she still likes someone from High school?"

Rachel frowned, not wanting to believe that Quinn was still in love with some stupid jock from her past.

"I don't know. Maybe."

Emily merely nodded, then frowned.

"So that still doesn't tell me why I need to be here. So Quinn's gay, big deal."

Rachel panicked, how could she explain Emily's presence without admitting that she was secretly fawning over the blonde.

"I just ..need you to ..um. I'm just afraid that when we get drunk she might try to kiss me or something, and I'm so not interested."

The second she said it, she wanted to take it back. She was painting Quinn as some sort of sexual predator, when the truth was Rachel could remember being the one to initiate their first kiss in that club.

Abruptly, she felt faint.

"I just need you there okay?"

Emily bobbed her head, worried at how pale the brunette had become.

Just as she was about to suggest a power nap, there was a knock at the door and Rachel's eyes widened comically. Her head swivelled towards the door and her hands shook.

Emily encouraged her with a slight jerk of the head, and the brunette surged forward and opened the door. Even Emily was taken aback, Quinn looked like a goddess, standing in the doorway with the light flowing in behind her, she was wearing a short blue dress with matching heels and her hair was pulled back away from her smoky eyes. She looked every inch the glamorous rock star.

Her eyes bore into Rachel's and a light smile graced her features.

"Hey Rach, ready to go?"

Rachel looked like she was incapable of speaking, her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water and her eyes were locked on hazel.

"I ..yes ..what?"

Emily snorted and decided to intervene before the brunette started drooling. Quinn finally noticed Emily and her smile faltered.

"Emily?"

"Hi Quinn, nice to see you again."

Quinn nodded, and her eyes once again bore into Rachel, searching her face for some sort of explanation.

"And you, I wasn't expecting you to be here."

"Yeah I'm sorry, I was in the area and Rachel here" she swung an arm about the stock-still brunette's shoulder and beamed at her "saved me from a night alone, didn't you Rachel?"

The brunette bobbed her head, trying to make her way back to reality. Emily glanced at Rachel and rolled her eyes, deciding to wrap this up sooner rather than later.

"I hope you don't mind"

Quinn smiled.

"Of course not, let's go."

**XX**

Two hours later, Rachel had finally managed to get a full sentence out, thanks in short to the copious amounts of wine she consumed and thanks that Emily finally needed a bathroom break which allowed her to get a word in edgeways. Since they arrived at the swanky restaurant, Emily and Quinn had been chatting non-stop, turns out, they had a **lot **in common. Rachel was beginning to feel like the third wheel in this setup, and it affected her more than it should have. She should have been happy that Quinn's attention was directed elsewhere, happy that she could relax and enjoy just being in the moment rather than sit there and wonder how much flirting she could safely get away with. There was only one word to describe Rachel right now.

Jealous.

Halfway through the meal, the brunette had snuck one of the soft blue napkins off the table and deposited it in her lap. Every time Quinn reached out to touch Emily's arm or the redhead laughed loudly at one of the blonde's jokes, another shred would be ripped off. It was calming for a while and then she looked down to see how much was left, nothing. Small bits of blue littered the floor like fallen soldiers, separated from their home, looking up at her as she guiltily realized what she had done. She could never remember a time when she had felt this jealous. Maybe it's because she was protective of her newfound friendship with Quinn, maybe she thought that they should have been paying more attention to her, whatever the case, the brunette was pissed and upset. And they had yet to move on to a club for the night.

Quinn noticed the brunette's uncharacteristic silence and gently nudged her out of her internal debate. A small smirk playing at her lips.

"Hey are you okay?"

Rachel focused on Quinn.

"Oh, remembered me have you?" she half-joked.

Quinn smirked and examined her nails. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought that Rachel was a tad jealous. It was sexy as hell, she needed to up the ante.

"Yeah sorry about, Emily is just such a unique person, I've never met anybody quite as interesting as her."

Rachel glared at Quinn's smiling face, the blonde avoiding eye contact. It kind of hurt that Quinn didn't think of Rachel as being interesting. She was interesting damn it.

"Yeah. She's great."

Quinn snorted internally at the lack of enthusiasm in the brunette's voice. She decided to press some more.

"Is she single?"

Rachel perked up immediately.

"Why do you want to know that?" she demanded, her voice squeaking slightly.

Quinn feigned nonchalance.

"Oh no reason, I just think she's a great girl, anybody would be lucky to have her."

Rachel's cheeks burned in annoyance. Did Quinn want to hook up with her assistant?

"Do you like her?" asked the brunette through clenched teeth, trying to refrain from hitting Quinn over the head with the empty bottle of wine before her.

Quinn pretended to act coy.

"Like her? Oh my goodness. I don't know, maybe."

_MAYBE? MAY-FREAKING-BE! ..To quote Mercedes, "oh hell to the naw!"_

"Right..are you g-going to ask her out?"

Quinn was rather enjoying the effect this little scene was having on Rachel, the brunette looked ready to explode. She was half expecting steam to come out of her ears at any moment. Acting shy, the blonde leaned closer to the brunette on the pretext of whispering in her ear.

"I was thinking about it. Unless of course" she leaned even closer, her hot breath ticking the brunette's sensitive neck "you have a problem with that?"

Rachel sighed and closed her eyes, revelling in the sensation of Quinn's warm mouth against her ear. She could barely remember how to speak.

"P-problem? Me?"

Quinn smirked at the faint words. Tilting her head even closer, she studied the brunette's perfect features, her heart stuttered when she realized the shorter girl's eyes were closed and she could hear her breathing coming fast and shallow. If she just was just a little closer, their lips would be touching and she would feel alive again. She didn't want Emily, she never did. This is what she wanted, this right here, and it was so close. So close.

Rachel sensed rather than felt Quinn leaning in, her mind emptied and all she could focus on was the sound of Quinn's frantic heartbeat getting closer and closer, her breath ghosted across her lips and she could smell the cherry lip-gloss, their lips mere inches from collision ..

"Hey ladies, sorry I took so long there was a queue practically out the door" Emily breezed, taking her seat. She froze in suspicion when the two girls leapt apart and blushed furiously.

Rachel looked guilty. Quinn looked frustrated.

None of them would meet her eye. She smirked knowingly.

"So, did I miss anything exciting?"

"No" they replied at the same time, before glancing at each other and quickly looking away.

Emily simply smiled and refilled her glass. This was getting more interesting by the second.

**XX**

A paid cheque later and a long list of snide comments from Emily, the trio headed outside arguing about which club to attend.

Rachel clumsily opened the door, a tipsy Quinn in hot pursuit. Once outside, Emily turned around suggesting a club she had heard about in town. Then she raised an eyebrow and looked down. Rachel was confused so she followed the direction of her gaze and gasped. Her and Quinn's hands had found each other and they didn't even realize.

Immediately dropping her hand, she came to the conclusion that more drinking was a bad idea and told the unhappy duo that she was going back to the hotel. Emily accepted her headache pleas easily, while Quinn simply stared at her silently, not believing a word of it.

The two girls hailed a cab and set off into town while Rachel slid into another taxi and directed him towards the hotel. Her hand felt cold and she held it within the other, trying to coax some warmth into it. It was icy cold the moment she had ripped it away from Quinn's own. Her heart felt the same.

Tipping the driver, the brunette gingerly made her way into the hotel and up to her room. Running her fingers gently over Quinn's door as she went, wanting to feel like the blonde was still beside her, smirking at something Rachel had said.

Opening her door she immediately found her way to her new therapist and opened a fresh page, ready to deal.

_Dear Diary,_

_Quinn tried to kiss me today. _

_I tried to kiss Quinn today._

_I __**wanted **__Quinn to kiss me today. She was so close that I could feel her heartbeat, I slowed my breathing so that mine matched hers. I wonder if she noticed. I hope she did. I want her to know that I care about her, I know I don't show it and I'm desperately trying to hide it, but I do._

_I want her to know that she's amazing. That Lea was stupid for letting her go and that she could have anybody she wanted. __Including me._

_INCLUDING ME. There I said it, I like her. I Rachel Barbara Berry, like Quinn Fabray. I like the way she laughs at all my jokes, even the stupid one's. I live the way she pretends to be busy and then shows up at my door with a stack of DVDs and some vegan ice-cream. I like the way I don't have to try around her, we can sit in silence and just be. I never feel uncomfortable around her, I never feel like I'm not good enough around her. She makes me feel like I'm worth something. She makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world that matters._

_When she was talking to Emily, I felt like my heart was about to burst into flames, like my face would turn green with envy. But on the way home I realized, I can't have it both ways._

_I can either keep quiet, play it safe and protect my heart. Or I can tell her, tell her that I love her and I want to be with her no matter the consequences._

_Did I just say love?_

**XX**

Rachel woke up with a groan and felt something soft against her cheek, sitting up she found her vision blocked by a solid white wall. Reaching up, she pulled the offending item away and realised that it was a crumpled piece of paper, possibly from her journal.

She studied it closer, yep it was from the journal all right. Looks like she was writing something last night before she fell asleep. The brunette quickly re-read her last entry and felt her stomach drop. Did she really admit all those things last night? What had she decided to do?

She stared at her bedroom door. More importantly, what was she going to do now?

This admission could ruin her career, it could disappoint her fathers and worse still it could cause her to lose Quinn. What if the blonde didn't feel the same way about her? She was after all quite clearly in love with someone else for a very long time.

The brunette flipped aimlessly through the pages as though the answer would suddenly appear. Reaching the back page a gold glint caught her eye and she bent closer to decipher it. Maybe this was a sign.

On the final page, was a gold star, and beneath it was Quinn's neat handwriting.

_Nobody shines as bright as you. To me, at least. X_

The brunette's vision blurred as tears began to fall, fast and thick, dotting the pages like bullets.

She needed to tell Quinn. Now.

Jumping out of bed she hugged the book to her chest and flung the door open, leaving it ajar as she ran the short distance to Quinn's room.

She pounded on the door excitedly, her mind buzzing with all the things she longed to say, all the things she had been fighting for so long.

She heard footsteps approaching and her heart felt like a hummingbird in a cage. Adrenaline pumped through her veins and a broad grin stretched across her face.

The door open and Quinn's face appeared, bleary eyed and hair tousled adorably.

"Rachel?" she blinked in surprise, it was eight o clock in the morning.

The brunette simply nodded and bustled past a shocked Quinn.

"I realize that you must have a hangover that could rival Charlie Sheen right now but there's something important I have to tell you."

Quinn opened her mouth to say something but Rachel cut her off, aware that if she didn't do this now she could lose her nerve completely.

"Firstly I want to say that I'm sorry. I don't know if you have noticed but I have been avoiding you lately, for stupid foolish reasons that seem so childish now. I've been fighting my feelings for the past couple of weeks now, ever since you came back into my life, I feel ..different. Like good different, you opened me up Quinn, made me remember what life was all about. Fun, laughter .." she locked eyes with the blonde, "love."

Quinn's eyes widened as she realized what Rachel was hinting at.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I-"

"Rachel?"

Rachel jumped slightly and looked at Quinn who was shifting guiltily and glancing at the nearby bed.

Rachel held her breath and turned, Quinn had company, company that was lying in her bed, clearly having spent the night and just woken up.

The brunette felt her heart break.

"Good morning Emily."


	18. Home is where the heart is

**Authors note: Over sixty reviews for the last chapter? Wow. Thank you all so much, I hope I have the same luck with this chapter. The next chapter has a few surprise guests so stay tuned. **

**A/N: Bandra K strikes again **** Thank you bb.**

**XX**

Quinn looked like a deer caught in headlights. Her mouth hung ajar and her eyes were roaming the room as though searching for an escape route.

_And rightly so apparently._

Rachel couldn't speak, couldn't think. She felt like her heart had cracked and pieces were falling everywhere, for the whole room to see. She closed her eyes and willed the tears away.

Emily shifted somewhere to her left and Quinn finally spoke.

"Rachel, I can explain .."

The brunette slowly opened her eyes, a wry smile appearing on her face. She should have expected this, she was an idiot, of course Quinn wanted Emily. She was everything Rachel wasn't, beautiful, charming, affectionate. Not awkward, jealous and spiteful. She rejected Quinn, pushed her away and threw the tentative friendship back at her. And now apparently she had hooked up with someone that was willing to give her what she needed. Good for her.

"No Quinn, you don't have to explain anything to me." The brunette replied quietly, willing herself to remain calm when all she wanted to do was scream, kick and punch the wall, distract herself from the overwhelming emptiness that haunted her now.

Quinn looked alarmed at the sudden change in the shorter girls tone and stepped forward with her hand outstretched, flinching as Rachel quickly backed away, blinking rapidly.

"I have to go."

Rachel quickly hurried from the room, Quinn still calling her name, trying to explain the unexplainable. Shutting the door on the only thing she ever really wanted, the brunette ran. Up the corridor, down the concrete staircase until she reached the lobby. Here she sped up, not caring that people were staring, her feet beating a steady rhythm against the hard marble floor. Bursting through the doors she randomly turned left and accelerated once more, trying to outrun pain itself.

After what felt like an hour, she reached came to a stop, bent over trying to catch her breath and block out the thoughts pinging relentlessly against her brain, mocking her. She waited to long, she waited much too long, and now she had lost her. She felt like a lighthouse with no light. Just an empty shell, devoid of warmth and guidance. She didn't know what way to go, or even if she wanted to.

Finally taking in her surroundings, the brunette realized she was standing in the middle of a park, she glanced around, there was nobody around. A small lake spread out across the grounds to her left and on her right were a tower of trees swaying gently in the breeze. Desire and curiosity overcoming her, she wandered closer to the sparkling water, watching it ripple and shimmer, ever-changing. Never still. She took a seat on the edge of the river and gazed at the rainbow of colours dancing across it's surface, small bubbles appearing every few seconds as if to assure her that life existed, it was there, listening to the painful thumping of her heart.

Reaching down, she took off her shoes and gently lowered her aching feet into the cool water, sighing in contentment as they slid beneath the surface. With a pang, she realized this is how Quinn made her feel. Before she met Quinn, she was barely living, simply existing, doing things for other people, never stopping to wonder if she should or even if she wanted to. She felt like her whole body, mind, body and soul were aching, aching for release. And when Quinn came back into her life, it was as though she eased her troubles, like the water she helped everything feel better, numb against the harsh realities of life, where nothing hurt and everything was seen through rose-tinted glasses. She loved that about Quinn. Her carefree way of looking at the most mundane things and then turning them into an adventure.

And Rachel had blown it. Practically forced her into the arms of another woman, her assistant no less. She wasn't mad at Emily, hell she wasn't even mad at Quinn. She got what she deserved, she had been doing the same thing to Quinn for god knows how long. If only she had been brave enough to tell the blonde that she had fallen in love with her that first time they had lunch together, she remembered listening to Gerry drivel on and on about this stupid movie and amusing herself by watching Quinn's minute reactions. She found herself naming them all, amusement, annoyance, wonderment, she was in love before she even reached the fourth.

She was slowly starting to piece everything together. Her need to know exactly what shade Quinn's eyes had been, not to hate them but to love them, to cherish them. To complete the picture of Quinn she always kept in a special place. She had forgiven Quinn so easily, why? Because she never wanted to be mad at the blonde, she wanted to be friends with her, she had wanted that for a long time. Since High School, I guess now she knew why.

Making her breakfast when Quinn first admitted that she was gay, holding her as she poured her heart out about Lea, kissing her. Kissing her and feeling fireworks, a quiet explosion in her heart. She loved it all, craved it, but she had pushed her away. Why?

She was honest enough to admit that she was terrified about what would happen to her career, not many openly gay actors are completely unaffected by their honesty. Parents wouldn't want Rachel as a role model anymore, people wouldn't buy her music when they knew she was singing about loving another woman, nobody would come to see her movies because they knew the chemistry with her leading man was fake and their were no illicit affairs occurring on set. The second part of the problem were her dads. She loved them more than anything, she really did, she loved them so much she couldn't bear the disappointment that they would invariably feel at their only baby turning out to be a lesbian. You would think that being who they were they would be more open to sexuality, but when she was younger, she remembered them sitting her down and explaining that just because they were gay doesn't mean she had to be. She didn't need to copy them, have such a hard life. They would feel like failures, people would whisper behind their backs "of course she turned out gay, she was raised by two faggots wasn't she?" She used to think that they're was no way she could do that to them. Now she felt different.

It was her life. There was no point in keeping them happy when she so clearly wasn't. So she screwed up with Quinn, that doesn't mean that she's suddenly straight again. She needed to do some serious soul-searching.

She would be happy for Quinn.

Even if it killed her.

**XX**

"Oh shit!"

Emily watched as Quinn paced up and down, her face a mask of terror as she tossed the phone back onto the bed in anger. She had been doing this for the best part of an hour and it was getting old. Rachel was a big girl, she could look after herself. Or so she hoped.

"Why isn't she answering her phone?" suddenly she stopped pacing and fixed the redhead with a worried gaze "you don't think she'd do anything ..stupid do you?"

Emily rolled her eyes, this was getting way to dramatic.

"No, as pissed as she might be, I don't think she's suicidal."

"Right ..of course"

Quinn bobbed her head, trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened.

"If she had just given me a chance to explain, maybe .."

"Maybe what Quinn?"

The blonde stopped pacing and shrugged.

"I don't know."

Emily actually hit the bed in frustration. Hopping up, she shrugged out from beneath the covers and came to stand in front of a shaken Quinn.

"Quinn."

The blonde didn't look up, she was too busy remembering the look in the brunette's eyes before she had fled the room. Quinn never wanted to be the cause of pain in those eyes.

"Quinn look at me!"

The blonde jumped and raised her head to meet Emily's impatient gaze.

"What?"

"Do you like Rachel?"

The blonde shifted uneasily, dropping her gaze and blushing slightly at the direct question.

"Why would you ask me that?"

Emily was seconds away from wringing the blonde's neck with her bare hands and she struggled to remain calm, this was important.

"Because I'm not stupid Quinn, I was hired by Rachel Berry after all. I see the way you watch her when you think nobody else is looking, I see it when you watch her steps just so you can be in sync with her. She moves, you move. She smiles, you smiles. It's not rocket science"

Quinn's eyebrows which had been steadily rising throughout the admission, now disappeared completely into her hair.

"I .."

"The point is." Emily pressed on firmly, "Whether you know it or not you like her, and I'm pretty sure from that little storm out, that she's been harbouring some feelings for you too."

Quinn remained silent.

Emily sighed gently, reaching forward to place a hand on Quinn's.

"Just tell me I'm right. Do you like her?"

A small tear slipped down Quinn's cheek and she finally met the redheads expectant gaze.

"I don't like her."

Emily's face fell and she started questioning herself. She had been so sure.

Quinn stepped forward and her gaze fell upon her own journal, partially concealed beneath the blanket. Smiling tearfully, she turned back to Emily.

"I don't like her, I love her."

Emily beamed.

"Well then, let's go get your girl!"

**XX**

Rachel had made up her mind, she had to leave, and she knew where she needed to go. The place where this all began, the place she had avoided for so long. The place she never wanted to see again, but knew she must. Drying her feet as best she could, the brunette slipped her shoes back on and stood up, muttering a silent goodbye to her rippling companion.

She set off up the gentle slope and felt her phone buzz in her pocket for what felt like the fiftieth time that day. Taking it out, she carefully avoided looking at the screen as she pulled out the battery and replaced the pieces into her pocket, feeling lighter. She walked for ten minutes until she saw him, standing there smiling expectantly. She tried to return his smile but couldn't remember how.

"Hello" he greeted.

"Hi, can you do me a favour?"

The brunette explained what she wanted and slipped into the car, trying to shut her brain down. Ignoring the flickers of Quinn that appeared every few seconds always fading fast but leaving just the eyes so that she felt like she was being x-rayed.

She watched as he rounded the front of the car and hopped into the drivers seat, as soon as she started the engine she relaxed.

**XX**

Quinn growled as she listened to the woman tell her that the phone was switched off and to try again later. She knew what she needed to do, but with Rachel pulling a Houdini, she was anxious. She just wanted to make it right.

Emily was pacing like a caged tiger beside her, she wanted this almost as much as Quinn, Rachel deserved some happiness.

"Any luck?"

Quinn shook her head.

"She switched her phone off."

"Dammit Berry!" frowned Emily exasperated.

"What do we do now?"

Emily thought for a moment.

"Well there is only one thing we can do.."

Quinn studied the redhead as she walked towards the window, looking out at the sprawling town unseeingly.

"What's that?"

"We're going to go look for her. Street by street. Until we find her."

Quinn smiled.

"Let's go."

The duo made their way to the elevator, both silent as they thought about the momentous task ahead, the brunette could be anywhere by now. They needed some serious luck on their side. The lift pinged and the doors slid open, the blonde already halfway out before Emily registered that they were in the lobby.

Making their way outside, Emily began explaining what they needed to do.

"Keep your phone on loud at all times, should one of us find her, we need to back off and call the other, if you find her, let me know then go woo her. If i find her, I'll call you and when you get there you woo her. Got it?"

"I got ..Rachel?"

"Yes that's who we need to find Quinn, haven't you been listening."

"No Rachel! She's right there!"

Emily turned and sure enough there was the brunette sliding into the limo, the driver entering the front seat and starting the engine. A feeling of dread pooled in the redhead's stomach.

"Run you idiot!"

Quinn snapped out of her overwhelming sense of relief and suddenly she was flying, zipping in and out of people as she frantically tried to reach the now slow-moving car.

She wasn't going to make it.

"Rachel! Rachel! Come back!"

It was no use, the car turned a corner and disappeared. Quinn collapsed onto the pavement, frustration overwhelming her, she pounded the pavement with her palm.

"Goddamit!"

She felt a pair of arms encase her and Emily whispering encouraging things in her ear. She didn't hear any of it, all she heard was her own strangled sobs.

Emily carefully half-carried, half-dragged Quinn back to her hotel room and settled her on a chair before whipping out her phone and dialling the drivers number.

"Hello Brad?"

"Yes hi, this is Emily, Miss Berry's assistant."

"Good. So I need to know where she went."

"Oh well, of course she told me, I just ..forgot. Silly me."

"She's gone WHERE?"

"Yes of course I remember now, thank you. Bye"

Quinn's head snapped up.

"Where is she?"

Emily shook herself from the shock and stared at Quinn.

"She's gone to Lima."

Quinn heart sped up and her mouth felt dry.

"Look's like I'm heading home."


	19. Flowerbeds

**Authors note: Please don't kill me. I'm so sorry I havn't updated, I've had some pretty serious family problems so the writing mood didn't really appear for a while. Anyway, enjoy, I hope you like it. Keep in mind that this is completely un-beta'd.**

**XX**

Rachel stared at the polished white door that had been her childhood home for so long. Everything up to this point had been done in a near robotic state. Driving to the airport, calmly booking and boarding her flight, ignoring the burning desire to turn her phone on and hear Quinn's voice again. But seeing her home, forced awareness into action and she was now fully appreciative of what she was about to do. All she could do was hope that they let her talk long enough so that she could explain why she was letting them down.

She shivered slightly where she stood, delaying the inevitable. Looking around, she was mildly surprised to see that nothing had changed in her absence. To her left was a flower bed filled with all her favourite plants. There were rose bushes, lines of daffodils, sprinkles of daisies and a few lilies to complete the picture. She could still remember the exact day this slice of heaven had been created. It had been her birthday.

_She had just turned ten years old and had spent the entire day handing out invitations to everyone she saw, for a party her dads were throwing her at her house. Excited and happier then she had felt in a long time, the miniature diva rushed straight home after school in order to help with the decorations and snacks. The invitations said four thirty sharp. At five, the tiny Rachel was still peering through the peephole, desperate to see a figure approaching. She didn't even care if they brought her a present, she just wanted to share her day with someone._

_Her fathers had tried their best to keep her spirits up, bustling around with snacks and gifts until she finally broke down in tears. After a glass of water and some soothing words, Rachel had calmed down and her heart had hardened. She was going to be a star anyway, who needed friends. The only person she was going to count on from now on was herself. Her fathers suggested that the three of them plant some flowers together in the previously unoccupied flowerbed and sixteen years later, there they still stood. A constant reminder that you could only rely on yourself in this world._

_So far, she hadn't been wrong. She had thought with Quinn that here finally, was somebody she could trust, somebody she could open up to and somebody that would ease her burdens just by being there and actually listening when she talked. _

She thought about Quinn's anxious expression this morning, about Emily's sheepish face.

_So much for trust._

Stealing herself against the past, Rachel slowly raised a trembling arm and knocked.

She held her breath as she waited, her heart thumping wildly as she heard the unmistakeable sound of footsteps approaching. After what seemed like an eternity, the door swung open and there stood David, peering down at her with a polite smile firmly in place.

The tall, balding man gave a cry of delight as he recognised her and launched himself at the startled brunette, wrapping her up in a massive bear hug, practically sweeping her off her feet. Rachel relaxed against him and her shoulders sagged, she hadn't realized how exhausted she actually was. Closing her eyes she leaned further into the embrace, revelling in the familiar comfort. She really needed this.

Her father was now rambling non-sensical,

"so happy to see you ..."

"why are you here? Not that I'm not thrilled to see you sweetie .."

The brunette suddenly pictured Quinn, holding her, stroking her hair and making her feel safe. She promptly burst into tears, her body shaking uncontrollably, great heaving sobs wracking her tiny body.

David, finally sensing that all was not well, pulled back and anxiously studied her face, trying to ascertain what could have caused his daughter this much pain. He saw it in her eyes, they were hollow, dead. That spark was gone. And it terrified him.

"oh Rachel honey, what's wrong?"

She merely shook her head, the words caught in her throat and she choked out a strangled sob.

_It's Quinn ..she hurt me. She broke my heart. I love her._

Shushing her, the bewildered man slowly led her back inside and shut the door behind them, hoping that whatever happened could be fixed sooner rather than later, because he couldn't stand looking into them eyes when they were so hollow and dead.

Rachel was only dimly aware that she was moving, her mind bombarded by images of Quinn and Emily, shattering her heart again and again. Reaching the living room, Rachel's other dad Michael instantly leapt up from the couch upon seeing his husbands miserable expression.

"Rachel sweetie what's wrong?"

David held her tighter and she squirmed, feeling trapped. Trapped in this town, this body, trapped in Quinn.

"Baby are you hurt?"

Was she hurt? Not physically, physically she was fine. Never better. Mentally, she wasn't so sure anymore. She had let Quinn in, pulled down her barriers, cut off her safety net and leapt headfirst into the abyss. She had the perfect opportunity to forget Quinn and move on when the blonde wanted to pull out of the movie, but she hadn't let her. She had done it for the Oscar of course .. She was only now realizing that the small golden statue was merely one in a long line of excuses she used in order to get closer to the taller girl. She was in love. Somewhere between the knowing glances and bashful smiles, she fell in love. And it was killing her.

But that's not what they were asking, she simply shook her head and allowed her Daddy to hold her. God knows he was the only thing keeping her together right now.

**XX**

Quinn was completely numb. As she watched Rachel run away, away from her, the blonde had fallen silent, leaving it to Emily to book the flights and arrange transport to and fro. The redhead practically had to scrape Quinn off the sidewalk and carry her to her room.

The blonde placed a shaking hand over her heart and exhaled. Logically, she knew that her heart must still be beating, but since she lost sight of Rachel in the car, her heart felt still and cold. Like a part of her was ripped away. Without Rachel, she didn't make sense.

She watched the buildings slip past and tried to block out the redheads incessant rambling from her right. Emily had been locked onto her phone for the best part of a half hour, she needed to do some serious damage control. Gerry was furious that they had neglected to attend the meet and greet today. Emily had plead sickness, telling him that they had both suffered severe food poisoning and were currently confined to the bed until further notice. That seemed to pacify him a little and he eventually agreed to give them two days to recover. That bought them some more time, but they were not out of the woods yet, not by a long shot.

Quinn couldn't believe she had let this happen, she was furious with herself. She should have told Rachel the truth from the beginning, instead she had flirted with disaster, playing games and living out their friendship through innuendo's and flirtatious smirks. She promised herself when she first discovered Rachel's involvement in the movie that she would keep her distance, stay strong. In truth, that resolution crumbled as soon as she looked into those eyes again. Rachel was a part of her now. Without her, she felt incomplete, like a half solved rubix cube or an unfinished jigsaw puzzle.

She needed to get to Lima. She needed to get to Rachel.

**XX**

Rachel lay in her old bed and listened to her fathers gentle murmurs from downstairs, she hadn't been able to tell them why she was upset, the words stuck in her throat and she ended up almost hyperventilating. They had sent her to bed with a glass of water and a reassuring hug.

That had been over an hour ago and the brunette had yet to move. She was tired and her heart felt heavy. She thought about Quinn and felt a jolt of pain, that was a bad idea. Glancing at the nearby clock she sighed in irritation it was only six o clock, much to early to contemplate falling asleep.

Getting to her feet, Rachel wandered the room, touching things here and there, remembering. Slowly circling the room her eyes fell upon an old jewellery box and she went to it, trying to remember what used to lie inside. She picked it up and held it to the light, twisting and turning it, squinting as vague memories drifted through her mind. Finally her mind settled on Finn's face and she remembered, this was where she used to keep her Finn necklace while they were dating, when it wasn't being displayed proudly from around her neck of course. It had been stolen from her locker a few months after they had begun dating, at first she thought it was Ben Jacob Israel, but after a lengthy interrogation she crossed him off the list. She tried to find out what happened to it for ages, but after it became clear that her and Finn were headed for a break up, she found she no longer cared about the meaningless trinket.

She thought about school and all the memories she had there. Some good, most bad. Her heart squirmed slightly as she remembered Glee club, the only place she had felt truly happy. A place where she could work through and solve any of life problems by playing the piano and belting out a heartfelt ballad. Her eyes snapped open and she gazed unseeingly at the door. After a few moments she threw on her jacket and glanced one more time around her childhood room, her mind set, she wiped her eyes fiercely.

And with that, she left her room.

Twenty minutes and some pretty dangerous driving later, Rachel arrived at the school and parked up, gazing up at the building with a mixture of fondness and apprehension. She looked around, the park was deserted, no cars, no people.

_Looks like I'm on my own. As usual .._

Slowly undoing her seatbelt, the brunette slid easily from the car and locked it, stowing the keys in her jeans pocket. Taking a deep breath, she walked forward until she was right in front of the door and reached for the handle. She pulled lightly.

It was locked.

After her sudden epiphany in the bedroom about coming here and getting some answers she had never counted on the school actually being locked. What was she going to do now?

Shuffling agitatedly from foot to foot she decided to check the side windows, surely one of them would be open. If not, she was seriously going to curl up into a ball and cry. Shimmying around the side of the school, she crouched low and the James Bond theme-song came forcefully to mind. Skulking towards the nearest window she tested it gingerly, but it too was locked. Cursing the janitors to the high heavens, she rounded another bend and nearly fainted with relief.

A small rectangular window was jutting out from the wall, ajar, as though it knew she was coming g. Hurrying to stand beneath it, the brunette carefully checked t o see if the coast was clear then hopped up onto the window sill and vaulted rather gracefully through the gap, only to get stuck halfway. Wriggling like a worm caught on a fishing rod, she managed to gain a few more inches. She placed her hands on either side of the window and pulled with all her might, having underestimated how stuck she actually was, Rachel flew forward and landed face first on the carpeted floor, breathing heavily.

"Ouch" she murmured against the hard ground, trying to roll over in order to ascertain which part of the school she was currently lying in.

She quickly surveyed the area, long wooden desks covered most of the room, small Bunsen burners sitting menacingly upon them, a small whiteboard scrubbed clean hung at the top of the room. Rachel recognised it immediately, though it had been years. She was in the Chemistry lab.

Hurrying quickly between the rows, Rachel reached the other side and opened the door, throwing herself into the hallway. Before she even had time to search for her old locker, she bumped into something that was hard and soft all at the same time.

"_Watch it manhands" snapped head cheerleader Quinn Fabray, her ponytail bobbing angrily on her head as she surveyed the brunette with disgust._

"_I'm s-sorry Qu-"_

"_Whatever RuPaul just don't do it again"_

_And with that she stalked down the hall._

"Woah" breathed Rachel, she had expected the memories to come, but not the flashbacks.

Shaking her head briefly, she took an experimental step and then another, with a sigh of relief she made her way to her old locker. She still remembered the combination and obediently twirled it in, hearing the satisfying click as it swung open, now full to the brim of some other students life.

Suddenly, the locker slammed shut.

"_Listen treasure-trail, we're about to have a smack down.."_

"_I don't want to have a confrontation"_

"_Don't play stupid with me stubbles. I'm Finn's girlfriend, and you need to back OFF. I'm asking you as nicely as I possibly can LEAVE FINN ALONE."_

_Rachel frowned._

"_Your right. I'm not helping him because it's the right thing to do, but because I have romantic ulterior motives."_

_Quinn nodded, her suspicions confirmed._

"_But so your clear, your the one who's cheating"_

Rachel watched the two memories retreat down the hall, screaming about Sue and her evil plans. The voices eventually faded and she was alone once more.

Deciding that she was way to creeped out to continue her exploration of the school, Rachel made her way to the choir room. Steeling herself against the past, she slowly opened the door and peered inside.

Gasping she surveyed the room in shock. Everyone of the Glee club were sitting down, preserved in their sixteen year old glory. Rachel's entrance seemed to have affected nobody so she sat at the piano usually reserved for Brad and watched the scene unfold.

She spotted herself, hunched low over a page, writing furiously while everybody ignored her. Except Quinn, who was staring at Rachel with a indiscernible expression. The brunette wondered briefly how much she had missed in her life when she was zoned out like that. Right now she was noticing things she had never noticed before.

She noticed that although Tina was holding hands with Mike, she was staring at Artie longingly, she noticed that although Puck tried to seem nonchalant, he was happily playing footsie with Lauren Zizes, she also noticed Brittany and Santana, who for once were sitting quietly in the back row, their foreheads touching gently, breathing in sync. As she watched, Santana lifted a hand and placed it palm down on her heart before reaching over and placing it over Brittany's. The blonde smiled and a small tear rolled down her cheek.

Rachel felt like such an idiot, she thought that what the two cheerleaders had was nothing more than sexual, something to do when the TV was broken. Now she saw it, she couldn't think of any reason that they shouldn't be married right now. She had seen love before, and this was most definitely it. Rachel's arm twitched and she hit a soft piano key that seemed to reverberate through the air, the memories began fading slowly until she was once again, alone.

Turning to the piano, Rachel slowly began strumming the instrument, her head cocked the side in contentment as her fingers walked across the keys. She thought of everything and nothing. Of her fathers, and Glee club and Quinn. They had each hurt her in some way, a piece of heart further chipped away as they each rejected her one by one.

The brunette stopped playing and closed her eyes, allowing the tears to fall. She didn't have to be brave here, she didn't have to worry about getting photographed crying, or yelled at by her Dads for disappointing them. Music had no expectations, it was comforting and simple. A genre for every mood.

Rachel began humming, she had a soft melody in her head and it was pulling her in. She tried to remember where she had hear it before but failed. Giving up she simply went with the flow of notes and crooned along to the beautiful sound. The song made her think of Quinn, the sound went inside and filled her up, her heart lifting slightly. Killing her with it's beauty, much Like Quinn.

The song progressed and suddenly she knew the words, but her voice wasn't alone.

_**You are the only exception ...**_

Rachel's eyes flew open, she knew that voice.

The blonde had her eyes open, staring right back at the brunette, her fingers ghosting lightly over the keys in time to their voices.

Her leg moved and they were touching. Rachel gave a jolt of surprise and started.

Either these visions were getting more realistic or ..

"Quinn?"

The blonde nodded, still playing.

"How did you find me?"

Finally she stopped playing and turned to face the brunette.

"I had a feeling" she shrugged.

Rachel simply nodded, her shock fading to anger, as she remembered why she was here in the first place.

"I think you should go."

Quinn shook her head and she turned to face Rachel completely.

"I can't do that."

"Fine, then you know what? I'll leave." Growled the brunette, moving to stand.

Quinn launched herself forward and latched onto her arm, pulling her back down.

"Rachel please wait, just hear me out. Hear me out and if you still want to leave I won't stop you. Just give me five minutes."

Rachel glared pointedly at her arm and Quinn dropped it.

"You have two."

Quinn nodded nervously and licked her lips.

"Firstly, I want to say how sorry I am."

"Well you should be-"

"I'm sorry for how I treated you in High school Rachel. For allowing myself to get caught up in being popular and for belittling you everyday. For all the name-calling and slushies, nobody deserves that."

Rachel was happy that Quinn was apologizing but she couldn't help feel that she was saying sorry for the wrong thing.

"Secondly, I want to say that I'm sorry for messing with your head. I've known for a long time now what I was and who I wanted, and I didn't give you a chance to figure it out, I just threw you in the deep end, I played games and I hurt you."

Rachel was getting more confused by the second, she remained silent, no longer counting the seconds down in her head.

"And lastly, well ..Emily and I"

Rachel hopped up.

"Look I don't want to know, I'm happy for the two of you and if you want to get together and hook up in random hotel rooms then that's really none of my business. I just ask that you-"

"We didn't sleep together."

"actually lock your doors, or hang a tie on the door because some people don't know what's .."

Rachel stared at Quinn.

"What?"

"We didn't sleep together Rachel."

"But your room, how did she ..?"

"I asked Emily to come back to my room that night-"

Rachel flared up again.

"Oh so you didn't sleep with her, but you wanted to? Real classy Quinn I-"

"Would you shut up for a second and let me explain!"

Rachel was in shock for a moment then reluctantly took a seat.

"Thank you. As I was saying, I asked her to come to my room so I could show her ..this."

The taller girl produced a book from behind her back, it hit the light and Rachel recognised it as the blonde's own journal. She still didn't have any idea what this had to do with her.

"So?"

"This book, is uncensored, it has every thought and every personal feeling I have ever felt inside it. It is extremely personal and I have never let anybody read it fully. What I showed Emily was bits and pieces. This is basically my heart and soul poured out onto paper."

Rachel nodded, she understood the feeling.

Quinn pushed it towards her.

"Read it."

The brunette flipped it open and gasped.

On the first page was a picture of her, she was smiling and she looked so alive. But this wasn't recent it was ..the brunette checked the date and gasped.

"But this is dated-"

"I started this journal when I was sixteen Rachel."

The brunette lowered her head and read the caption beneath the picture.

**For ever beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it. I have felt both. I think the picture will explain why.**

Rachel stared at the words incredulously.

"You thought I was beautiful?"

"No" replied Quinn and Rachel's face crumpled.

The blonde immediately reached out to touch her cheek.

"I didn't **think** you were beautiful, because I still do. Everyday."

The brunette smiled and blushed, before turning the page and frowning.

Taped inside the book on the third page was her Finn necklace. Quinn saw her staring at it and blushed herself.

"I guess I couldn't stand seeing somebody else so close to your heart." She murmured quietly, looking down.

Rachel smiled again and flipped another page, this time it was a drawing of her, perfectly sketched.

"Quinn I didn't know you could draw like this." She marvelled.

"I can't. " she shrugged lightly, "You seem to be the only thing I can draw well. Everything else ends up looking like a blob"

Rachel giggled lightly and kept flipping, the book was full of pictures, drawings, and poems. Long entries also dotted the pages, talking about encounters with the brunette or the pain of coming to terms with who she was.

Coming to the end, Rachel gently placed the book on top of the piano, her heart thumping wildly.

"So, you didn't sleep with Emily and you have a book dedicated to me" she smiled lightly, her palms shaking, "what does this mean?"

Quinn took a deep steadying breath and stared deep into her eyes.

"It means that I love you. I have loved you for a long time and I still do. There's nothing more I can do, whatever happens from here is up to you Rachel."

The brunette's mind immediately assaulted her with images of her fathers yelling at her, of all her friends giving her nasty smirks and knowing glances, of the tabloids ripping her newfound sexuality to shreds.

But then she looked into Quinn's eyes and she knew that she could deal with anything that came her way.

Leaning forward she brushed her lips lightly against Quinn's, revelling in the fact that she could do this, that Quinn loved her and wanted her. Pulling back slightly she rested her forehead against the taller girls, her heart got caught in her throat and she felt like she was about to explode from the entirety of the situation.

"I love you too."

Quinn exhaled in relief and placed a chaste kiss to her temple.

"Thank god."

They both giggled, not wanting to leave just yet.

"I guess we have to tell my Dads .." whispered the brunette.

Quinn nodded against her.

"I guess.."

Rachel leaned back and studied Quinn hungrily.

"Could ..could we just stay like this for a little longer."

Quinn nodded and Rachel turned around, lying against the blonde and resting her head against her heart.

"Will you hold me?" she whispered.

Quinn's eyes fell upon the book and she wrapped her arms around the brunette.

"I never let go."


	20. Trampoline

**Authors note: Long time I know! But my other laptop crashed and sort of died, and with it went most of my remaining chapters in this story so I'm starting from scratch again. I hope you enjoy ! Reviews make me update faster …just saying :P**

**XX**

Quinn slowly struggled towards consciousness, noting that she was slightly uncomfortable but pleasantly surprised at the warm object pressed up against her. She zoned in on the warm lump and tried to identify it. She ran her hand over soft wavy sheets of what felt like silk. It felt like stroking a fluffy Persian rug. Slightly more awake now, she focused on her second sense to try and unravel the mystery. Tuning out everything else around her, Quinn focused on the small object she was clutching so tightly. She could just make out the sound of deep shallow breathing.

_It's alive!_

Perplexed, she decided to use yet another sense and she slowly leaned forward, sniffing the air as she went. It smelled delicious and she drank it all in. It was a mixture of cinnamon and vanilla with just a hint of-

"Quinn Fabray, are you sniffing me?"

Her eyes flew open and she found herself looking into deep brown eyes dancing with mirth. Rachel was propped up on her elbow, observing her with an amused smile playing on her lips.

"I was afraid that last night was a dream." Admitted Quinn bashfully, ducking her head and turning a light shade of pink.

Rachel's expression softened and she gently took her hand, turning it over and placing a soft kiss on her open palm.

"I know what you mean, but don't worry I'm not going anywhere."

Quinn smiled and suddenly it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had been afraid that Rachel would change her mind in the cold light of day.

"Thank god. I couldn't lose you again."

Rachel returned her smile and they gazed fondly at each other for a moment.

"I can't believe I'm waking up next to you."

"We have slept in the same bed before Quinn" she reminded her laughing.

"I know but, not like this." She indicated their conjoined hands her eyes shimmering slightly. Rachel felt her heart swell and a stray tear made its way slowly down her cheek.

Quinn immediately kissed it away.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

Rachel simply shook her head.

"Nothing it's just, this feels so right. I wish we hadn't wasted all those years."

Quinn almost broke down right there and then, as it was her voice shook as she replied;

"I'm sort of glad, because it means I won't ever let you go, now that I know how hard it was to get you in the first place."

Rachel smiled gently, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips and sniffling.

In an effort to lighten the mood, Quinn grasped her hand and smirked.

"At least when people ask how we met, we have a rather interesting story to tell them."

Rachel giggled and surveyed the room.

"You're right, although maybe it's best that we leave out the whole" breaking and entering, and sleeping on a trampoline in our High School gymnasium bit"."

Quinn tilted her head and frowned.

"What trampoline?"

"The one we are currently lying on Quinn."

She looked down and sure enough they were both huddled together in the middle of a huge trampoline.

"No wonder I kept having dreams about being on a boat. Huh, is it weird that I don't remember coming into the gym?"

Rachel shrugged.

"We were both pretty tired last night, it's been quite a strenuous week."

Quinn nodded her agreement.

"And maybe it's because I just couldn't keep my eyes off you."

Rachel blushed and Quinn winked cheekily.

"Such a charmer"

"And that one was free"

Rachel smacked her lightly on the arm and they fell into a playful silence, with the shorter girl absentmindedly playing with Quinn's hair.

Just as she started to fall back asleep, she heard Rachel curse.

"Shit!"

Her eyes flew open once more and she immediately scanned the gym for signs of an axe-wielding maniac. Having confirmed that the coast was clear, she turned back to Rachel.

"What?"

"Emily."

They both grimaced. Emily had been really good to them so far, she deserved to know what had happened, especially since she was the only reason they still had a job right now.

Rachel rolled over and pulled her phone out of her pocket before shooting Emily a brief message explaining that they were both alive and they would call her later.

She shoved her phone back into her pocket and squealed as Quinn reached out and pulled her back in.

The brunette eyed her questioningly.

"I got lonely."

Rachel shimmied down until they were face to face and kissed the tip of her nose.

"You're cute."

Quinn smirked devilishly.

"Let's see how cute I am when I do …this!" she screeched, leaping up and jumping on the trampoline with all the impact she could muster.

Rachel shrieked and flew three feet into the air, taking pity on her the taller girl reached down and pulled her up, still jumping excitedly.

The shorter girl shook her head at Quinn's goofiness, but decided to just go with it. She quickly built up some momentum and glanced at Quinn who was watching her intently, before launching herself into the air and doing an impressive back-flip.

Quinn applauded and wolf-whistled as Rachel bowed to the imaginary crowd.

After half an hour they both collapsed exhausted and fell silent as reality began to creep in. Quinn locked eyes with Rachel and swallowed nervously.

"So …you parents?"

Brown eyes went from happy to scared so fast that Quinn barely had time to register it.

"Yes."

"They should be okay with it though, right? I mean they are both gay too."

Rachel took her time, considering her answer, not wanting to mislead her.

"They will accept it yes, but I believe they will also be somewhat disappointed."

Quinn furrowed her brows and shifted infinitesimally closer.

"I don't-"

"That doesn't mean their bad people Quinn. You don't understand what they've been through, what they still go through. They were bullied, both mentally and physically, because they were gay. All that hurt and pain was inflicted upon them just for loving someone. And it still hasn't stopped, people still shout at them in the street, point at them for holding hands."

Quinn gazed at her sadly she knew where this was going.

"The point is, they don't want my life to be so hard. I think maybe that's why they were so relieved when I finally dated Finn."

The taller girl nodded her understanding and pulled her closer, allowing the brunette to bury her face in her neck.

"We can wait, if you want. We don't have to tell them now."

Rachel face slowly reappeared from Quinn's shoulder and she gently cupped her face.

"You are amazing. And I want to show you off."

Quinn smiled softly.

Rachel continued slyly.

"Besides why wouldn't I want everyone to know that I have a totally banging girlfriend?"

Quinn smirked at this.

"So I'm your girlfriend now?"

Rachel bolted up so fast that Quinn thought she was on fire.

"What the hel-"?

Rachel quickly shushed her, arms flailing dramatically.

"I can't believe I forgot, I am such an idiot!"

Quinn raised an eyebrow and sat up.

"What are you talking about?"

Rachel knelt before Quinn and gently grabbed her hands, interlocking their fingers and gazing at her with so much emotion that it literally took her breath away.

"Quinn Charlotte Fabray, will you do me the tremendous honour of becoming my girlfriend?"

Quinn broke out in a soft smile, silent tears streaming from both their eyes.

"I thought you'd never ask.


	21. These are my confessions

**Authors note: Thank you for welcoming me back, it warms my heart reading your reviews they always bring me out of writers block (hint, hint) :P**

**XX**

Rachel glared at Quinn, trying her best to look intimidating and failing miserably, her eyes always gave her away, especially when she was trying to look mad at the one person she never could be mad at. Not for long anyway.

Quinn desperately attempted to maintain her composure, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. She needed to play it cool, summon up her HBIC mask and hide behind it.

This was it.

"Are you ready?"

Rachel nodded. She felt like her stomach had bottomed out and she was breathing heavily.

"On three, okay?"

Rachel nodded, she was too afraid to speak right now.

"One"

They both shifted uncomfortably, the light breeze circling them menacingly as they struggled to maintain their poker faces.

"Two"

Hazel eyes cautiously met brown and heart rates skyrocketed.

"Three!"

They both whipped their hands out from behind their backs.

"Ha! Rock beats scissors!"

Rachel stomped her foot unhappily.

"Best two out of three?"

"Nice try Berry. You lost, so you have to knock."

Huffing angrily, she crossed her arms and pouted, this is why she didn't like playing games. She always lost. Quinn eventually took pity on her and pulled her into a hug.

"Look I know this is serious and that you're scared but, no matter what they say in there, I will still love you." She tilted Rachel's chin up so she could look into her eyes.

"Okay?"

"Okay" She bent down and placed a small kiss on the tip of Quinn's nose and they both turned to face the door. Despite what she said, Quinn was nervous, she could practically feel the fear spreading through her body. And what's more, it wasn't even fear for herself. It was fear for Rachel, she so wanted the brunette to be happy and having her father's blessing was a huge part of that happiness.

Rachel slowly raised a shaking hand and knocked, before quickly retreating and grabbing Quinn's hand before she tried to run away. They both held their breaths as the unmistakeable sound of footsteps reached their ears.

The door was thrown open and Quinn was greeted with the sight of the two Berry men smiling down at them.

"Rachel honey, we'd wondered where you got to. Did you by any chance happen to climb out your bedroom window last night?"

Quinn's mouth fell open and Rachel cringed guiltily.

"I realize that sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night was probably not the wisest move I have ever made, but as you will come to understand, certain situations call for extreme measures."

They both nodded amused as if this was a regular occurrence, before turning their heads as one, studying Quinn with interest. Rachel had never brought a friend home before. She noticed them staring and blushed, squeezing Rachel's hand to remind her to speak.

"Oh right sorry Dad, Daddy, this is Quinn Fabray."

There it was, it was a small tightening of the fists, a split second flicker of rage in their eyes and Quinn knew that her reputation preceded her. They were now very much on the alert.

_This should be fun._

Once inside the house, Rachel led Quinn to the sitting room where they sat side by side on the couch, with the Berry men taking up residence on the loveseat.

"So …" began David, his eyes momentarily coming to a rest on Quinn before he faced his daughter, "why did you climb out your bedroom window?"

Rachel glanced at Quinn who smiled encouragingly.

"I was upset and I wanted to go for a walk, I went to McKinley." She licked her suddenly dry lips as they waited for her to continue, when she didn't David cleared his throat.

"And you couldn't use the front door because?"

"I didn't want you to see how upset I was, you would have never let me go there alone" she sighed, feeling Quinn tense beside her. She never wanted to be the one to cause Rachel any pain.

"Was? Does this mean that you are no longer upset?" questioned Michael hopefully.

At this, Rachel broke into a small smile.

"I have never been happier …" she paused for a moment and then very deliberately reached over to take Quinn's hand. "Dad and Daddy, there's something I need to tell you."

Both men shared an incredulous look but allowed her to continue.

"Now as you may know, myself and Quinn share a rather colourful past …" she rubbed soothing circles against Quinn's palm when she felt it tighten at her words.

"I also know that because of what she subjected me to in High School, that she is not exactly your favourite person."

David frowned, that was probably the understatement of the century.

"All I ask is for you to forget about the Quinn Fabray you used to know. I can assure you that she is long gone and that this Quinn" she gestured at her briefly "is a completely different person. Our paths happened to cross a few months ago when we discovered that we would be working on an upcoming film together, at first I was reluctant to say the least."

Quinn smiled and squeezed her hand.

"I wasn't going to take the job, in fact I was already trying to get her fired." She smiled in an ashamed sort of way before continuing. "But then, I gave her a chance. I gave her a chance, because she apologized for what she had done, she wanted to start fresh and admittedly I forgive people too easily. However since then, Quinn has been nothing but supportive, kind and loving. She's my best friend."

The two men seemed to soften a little bit at this. Rachel took this as a good sign and quickly spilled the rest before she lost the nerve.

"And as of last night, my girlfriend"

Both Berry men's eyes immediately widened.

"You mean that …"

"That Quinn and I are involved in a romantic relationship yes."

The men sat there in silence for a few moments, digesting this information and Rachel immediately began to panic.

"Look I know that this is not the sort of life that you wanted me to have and I know I'm disappointing you but I love her." She looked at Quinn, tears suddenly spilling down her cheeks.

"I really love her. " She turned to face the silent men "and I love you too. Please don't make me choose between you, because you might lose."

Quinn's heart swelled at Rachel's words and it took all she had not to grab her and kiss the life out of her right there and then, but this was an important moment and she wanted it to be okay, so she cleared her throat and faced the two Berry's.

"Mr and Mr Berry, I know you must hate me for what I put Rachel through and I understand that you might never trust me," she took a deep breath and looked straight into their eyes, willing them to understand "but I need you to know that nobody could possibly hate me as much as I hate myself for what I did to her. I have spent ten years kicking myself for all the pain I caused her. I was messed up in High School, I was in love with Rachel but I was too stubborn and scared to admit it, so I teased her, pretending I hated her when really she was all I could think about. "

Rachel's heart pounded at Quinn's admission and she almost forgot that her two Dads were sitting there.

"And by some miracle, faith brought her back into my life in the most amazing way imaginable. She makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if she'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make her feel the same way."

Rachel released a quiet sob and pulled Quinn against her, hugging her as tight as she could. She felt like she was going to burst, she didn't know that anybody could feel this much emotion, this much love for someone else.

David removed his glasses and cleared his throat; the two girls immediately sprang apart but remained close.

"Quinn …"

She looked at him warily, mentally preparing herself for the lecture.

"I am so glad that Rachel found someone like you."

Both girls' jaws hit the floor and Michael chuckled.

"Well what did you think we would say after that little speech? It was beautiful and I believe that you truly meant every word Quinn."

"I did sir."

"Please call me Michael."

She blushed.

"Okay, Michael."

David smiled at the exchange then turned to Rachel.

"Baby, how could you ever think that we wouldn't accept you for who you are? We love you unconditionally, no matter what. You're still my little princess and you always will be."

Rachel got to her feet and threw her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder.

"Thank you Daddy."

"You're welcome princess."

She slowly pulled back and wiped her eyes, not wanting to cry the whole time she was there.

Michael clasped David's hand tightly and smiled.

"Now that, that's over who wants to dinner?"

The trio burst out laughing and Quinn felt giddy. The two men disappeared into the kitchen and Rachel resumed her seat, cuddling into Quinn and sighing with contentment. She closed her eyes and kissed the brunette's temple, her arms wrapped tightly around her tiny frame. She could almost fall asleep here, she never wanted to move. It was as if real life didn't exist outside this small town.

"What are you thinking?"

Quinn slowly opened her eyes, locking eyes with Rachel as she ran her fingers gently through her hair.

"I was thinking about how nice it is here, nothing to worry about. It's like our own little bubble."

Rachel smiled serenely and placed a soft kiss against her lips before jumping up from the couch.

"What?"

"My phone it's vibrating."

She slipped it out of her pocket and grimaced.

"Just when you said we had nothing to worry about."

"Who is it?"

"Emily."


	22. Always

**Reviews are always welcome, I love reading them. I hope some of you are still with this story; it's been a hell of a ride.**

**XX**

Emily tapped her nails heavily against the glass table impatiently.

"Well?"

Rachel glanced at Quinn who shrugged uncomfortably.

"Sorry."

The redhead shot her a withering look.

"I have spent the last three days constantly on my cell phone with your boss trying to convince him not to fire you. Not to mention having to lay false trails for the paparazzi to chase while desperately trying to keep your real whereabouts a secret, making sure that nobody found out where you went or why. And all you can say is sorry!"

Quinn winced guiltily, shrinking back into the plush velvet cushions. Thankfully Rachel seemed to be attempting a second apology. She predicted that this one would be much better than her own lame offering.

"Look Emily, you are so right. What Quinn and I did, keeping you in the dark was awful and we are both really sorry. I can only imagine the stress that you have been under."

Emily glanced at them both, seemingly becoming slightly more pacified. Quinn felt that it was safe enough for her to emerge from the cushions.

Rachel licked her lips nervously and continued, meeting her gaze.

"I just need you to know that, whenever I am in any trouble or I need to talk to someone I really trust, you are always the first person I go to. You are the best assistant, and the best friend that anyone could ask for."

Emily's gaze softened.

"Well that's true" she stated evenly, tossing her hair.

"It's just that …" she turned to look at Quinn who had been silently watching her from her place on the couch.

"This is something that I needed to do on my own. Okay?"

The agitated woman shifted restlessly from foot to foot, seemingly weighing her options.

"Okay, alright." She agreed, tossing her hands in the air with a sigh.

"I just want to know one thing."

Rachel leaned forward expectantly.

"Anything."

Her eyes darted between the couple sitting side by side on the couch and she sent up a silent prayed that the answer would be a positive one, that there would be a happy ending to this rather ridiculous fairy tale they seem to have wound up in.

"Did you and …" she seemed to struggle for a moment before clearing her throat and continuing, her voice steady

"Are you two like, together now?"

Rachel immediately broke into a heart melting smile, turning to gaze at Quinn whose eyes shone with emotion so fierce that it took Emily's breath away, and she suddenly felt like she was intruding on something private, something that only the two of them should share. She watched as Quinn slowly reached out and took Rachel's hand, clasping it tightly between her own before kissing it, as though she couldn't quite believe she could actually do it.

"Yes. We are." Replied the brunette, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her lips, her eyes never moving from Quinn's, her thumb softly skimming Quinn's wrist.

Emily wanted to cry. She had never seen Rachel this happy before, the girl was known for her cool and calm exterior which people took for strict professionalism, but Emily saw it for what it really was, loneliness and a fear of letting people get to close. But seeing her now, gave Emily hope. Hope that Quinn could start to tear those carefully constructed walls down in a pillar of dust. She wanted to cry, but she didn't. Instead, she levelled Quinn with a sharp look.

"You break her heart, and you will have to answer to me."

Quinn returned her gaze, expressionless.

"I would never hurt Rachel you of all people should know that."

"I do. But I had to say it."

Rachel nervously awaited Quinn's response, surprisingly the girl smiled.

"I understand. And I'm glad that Rachel has someone like you looking out for her."

Emily shrugged lightly and attempted to blink away the sudden onslaught of emotion.

"Yeah, well. Just be careful the both of you, if the press find out about your new relationship they are going to have a field day. They will go digging and dredge up a lot of nasty things that I'm sure you would rather forget."

Rachel stood and wrung her hangs together.

"We know, and we have decided to keep this a secret, for a little while at least."

"Good" Replied Emily now beginning to gather her things which were strewn about Rachel's living room.

The brunette took a step forward and gently took her hands.

"Emily"

The redhead stilled, her hair falling over her face in a sheet.

"Emily, look at me."

She reluctantly tore her gaze from the ground and faced piercing brown eyes, a tear finally escaping.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

The assistant merely shook her head, her gaze dropping to the floor once again before giving Rachel's hand a tight squeeze.

"I am just really happy for you" she smiled, causing Rachel to tear up.

"For both of you, really." She emphasized, looking at Quinn who smiled softly in return.

Rachel tugged the tearful girl closer and encased her in a hug.

"I have never been this happy before." Whispered Rachel quietly into the crying girls ear.

Emily hugged her back tightly, her eyes closing for a moment,

"I know. And you deserve this." She replied before pulling away and wiping her face, gathering the rest of her stuff and leaving with a final wave goodbye, still clutching a tissue in her hand.

**XX**

Rachel flounced back on to the couch and rested her head against Quinn's shoulder, who in return wrapped her arms around the tiny girls body and pulled her tight, kissing her hair and inhaling her unique scent.

"That was intense."

"Yeah" agreed Rachel quietly.

Quinn shifted in place until she could see the brunette.

"Are you okay?"

The brunette shrugged, tears forming rapidly.

Quinn immediately kissed them away, melding impossibly closer.

"Come on baby, tell me what's wrong?"

Rachel sniffled and wiped her nose.

"It's silly." She wailed.

Quinn spun her so that they were fully facing each other.

"Rachel, let me in."

The brunette met her piercing gaze and nodded softly.

"Well it's just that I never realized how frightened I was about telling my Dads, and Emily. I mean I had no idea how they would react, they could have tried to make me choose between you."

Quinn rubbed her shoulders soothingly.

"Oh baby, it's okay they didn't make you leave me, I'm still here."

Rachel looked up suddenly, locking her eyes with Quinn.

"That's just it Quinn, had they asked me to choose, it would have been you, every time."

Her breath hitched and suddenly she understood what Rachel wanted, needed to hear.

She cupped her face gently, hazel eyes burning into warm brown.

"I will _always _choose you too."

Rachel sobbed, trying to control her breathing.

"Really?"

"It's always been you Rach."

The brunette shot her a watery smile before leaning forward and capturing her lips in a searing kiss.

"Thank you."


	23. My couch or yours?

**Authors note: Two updates in one week huh? Yay, I'm sticking to some sort of schedule! As always, reviews certainly help me write a lot quicker and I appreciate any feedback I get.**

**XX**

They woke up early the next morning, limbs and hearts tangled together on the soft couch.

Rachel's eyes fluttered and Quinn felt her heart ache; the sight was so beautiful it almost hurt. She suppressed the urge to reach out and touch her but then remembered in a moment of wonderful realization that she was actually allowed. This wasn't a dream, this was real and it felt amazing.

The sleepy girl sighed contently when she felt soft fingertips dance across her skin and trace the contours of her face. She felt like staying here forever, but there was one thing missing. She needed to see Quinn's eyes; she needed to know that Quinn understood what she was feeling right now.

Rachel slowly opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as they adjusted to the light before focusing on a smiling Quinn. She quickly memorised every inch she could, storing each detail in a file at the back of her mind should she ever want to use it.

Her hair, the curve of her cheek, her lips, those eyes. Those eyes that always seemed to have an effect on her, even in High School.

Quinn remained silent, allowing the girl in her arms to continue her study, truth be told, she had just been doing the exact same thing. Eventually, Rachel gave a tiny yawn and met Quinn's gaze.

"Hi" she whispered smiling shyly.

"Hey" replied Quinn, intertwining their hands where they rested against her hip.

"You know I wouldn't mind waking up like this every day." She admitted breathlessly.

"On a couch?" teased the brunette lightly, her eyes dancing with mirth.

Quinn raised an eyebrow and adopted a poker face.

"Well couches can be very …" she ran her fingers through Rachel's thick soft hair, tilting her head up to expose her neck, leaning down and placing a soft kiss against the warm skin, "soft" she murmured against the suddenly flustered girl.

"Is that so?" questioned Rachel, her eyes sliding shut as Quinn nipped gently at her collarbone.

Quinn struggled to contain her smirk and continued her assault on Rachel's skin.

"Oh yeah, and you know what else they are?"

Rachel swallowed a moan, her body was on fire and Quinn had barely even touched her. This could be a problem.

"Mmm…?"

Quinn shifted so that she was now straddling the writhing girl, she ran her hands up Rachel's sides and settled in her hair, fisting the silky waves and hovering just about her mouth.

Rachel's eyes were screwed shut as she desperately tried to fight off her arousal. She felt Quinn move to straddle her hips and caused friction in just the right place.

"They are also …soft" purred Quinn stroking her fingers lightly through the thick waves of hair.

"And plump" she whispered before bending down and capturing Rachel's bottom lip between her teeth, sucking gently on it.

Rachel's eyes flew open and she moaned at the sight in front of her, Quinn's eyes were dark with arousal and they were burning into her own with undisguised lust. She reached up and yanked Quinn on top of her, their bodies melding together perfectly, crushing their lips together again and again. She felt Quinn growl lightly as she begged for entrance. The blonde eagerly granted it and suddenly their tongues were locked in a frenzied dance, tasting everything, mapping pathways and circling every inch.

Quinn's hand inched it's way under Rachel's shirt and she raked her nails over her ribcage causing the brunette to gasp and roll her hips against Quinn's making her shudder.

The taller girl broke away and panting, met Rachel's gaze.

"We need to stop."

She whined in protest and pulled Quinn impossibly closer once more, crashing their lips together. The blonde kissed her back with everything she had and Rachel's hands made their way to the waistband of her jeans, she was just about to pop the first button when Quinn jumped up, her eyes wide, chest heaving.

Rachel groaned at the loss of contact and quickly sat up.

"Quinn what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong Rachel, I just think we should slow down. This is moving too fast right now."

Rachel pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

"Don't you want me?"

Quinn's gaze snapped up to study Rachel's face and was horrified to see tears forming.

"Of course I want you Rachel" she stated firmly, sitting down beside her and grabbing her hand tightly "you have no idea how much I want you right now."

Rachel sniffled and attempted to stem the flow of tears.

"Then why did you stop?"

The taller girl sighed and met her teary gaze.

"I just don't want us getting ahead of ourselves; I respect what we have too much for that to happen. I want to do this right, I love you. I want you to know that this isn't just about sex for me."

Rachel nodded, showing she understood.

Quinn suddenly slipped off the couch and knelt.

"Rachel Barbra Berry, would you do me the honour of going on a date with me?"

The brunette broke into a huge grin and jumped into Quinn's lap, causing them both to fall, giggling to the floor.

"Of course I will go on a date with you Quinn Fabray."

Quinn turned and gazed adoringly at the slightly flushed girl. Leaning over she placed a tiny kiss on the tip of her nose and closed her eyes, breathing slowly.

"Good."

**XX**

They stayed like that on the floor for nearly two hours, talking laughing and kissing. They talked about everything, about their past, present and tentative future. Quinn told Rachel that Brittany and Santana had both figured out that Quinn liked Rachel way before she ever did. They both agreed that discovering a smarter side of Brittany was unexpected and a caring Santana was both creepy and welcoming. Rachel told Quinn about her passion for acting and singing, about how she craved to win an Oscar with all her heart. Some people would call Rachel vain but Quinn understood. She knew that while Rachel adored some of the attention, what she really wanted was something to represent all her hard work and effort. Quinn admitted that while she truly loved acting, she had always wanted to write a screen play. Rachel told her to go for it.

All in all, they opened up and little by little they chipped away at the doubts and insecurities. Repairing old wounds from High School that had held them back for so long.

Rachel rolled over so that she was now resting on her stomach and squinted up at Quinn.

"I'm hungry. Want some food?"

Quinn nodded and she slowly got to her feet, pulling Rachel with her. She gestured for the smaller girl to go ahead and as she passed, Quinn came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her, causing Rachel to squeal in surprise. They shuffled awkwardly to the kitchen where Quinn finally relinquished her hold and plopped into the nearest chair.

Rachel began rooting through cupboards attempting to find some edible food. She stood on her tip toes with her tongue peeking out at the corner of her mouth as she tried to concentrate on her balance.

"Okay, well I have some cereal, some fruit, a bag of pasta and two ..no three carrots" she listed frowning, she really needed to do some shopping.

Quinn chuckled and stood up.

"How about we just make some toast?"

Rachel nodded.

"That could work."

Quinn laughed quietly as Rachel set off to find the bread.

"You want some coffee?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Was that even a question?"

Rachel shrugged, laughing.

"I guess not. Coffee and toast it is then!"

After a few minutes, Rachel set the stack of toast and two cups of coffee on the table before taking a seat beside Quinn.

The taller girl took a sip of coffee and sighed gratefully.

"Thanks Rach."

When the brunette failed to reply, Quinn glanced up, only to find her already watching her with a suspicious smile adorning her face.

Quinn got comfortable, knowing some thinly disguised motive was to come.

"What?"

Rachel took a bite of her toast before eyeing Quinn slyly.

"Oh I was just wondering when you plan on taking me out on this oh so amazing first date?" she smiled.

Quinn licked her lips and mentally ran through her upcoming schedule. Today was Friday and neither of the girls needed to be back in work until Monday morning.

"Hmm, how about tomorrow night?"

"Sounds perfect" smiled the brunette happily.

Quinn returned to her toast and Rachel fidgeted restlessly in her chair, her eyes darting from Quinn to the table and back again. Eventually, when she felt like she was going to spontaneously combust she blurted out.

"And where will this date be taking place?"

Quinn looked up and raised an eyebrow as Rachel avoided her gaze. It seemed like a perfectly innocent question, but this was Rachel Berry and Quinn knew what was going on at last.

She chuckled and sipped her coffee as Rachel awaited her answer.

"Nah ah Berry, you are just going to have to wait and see."

Rachel glanced at Quinn, knowing full well her cover was blown. She tried to reason with her.

"B-but I hate surprises!"

Quinn actually snorted as she got up and placed her mug in the sink, running some cold water over it and setting it out to drain.

"No you don't, you just hate not being in control."

Rachel huffed in mild indignation.

"I just like to be prepared for all eventualities. For example, what happens if the setting for our date requires certain attire, how will I know what to wear? It could be sunny or rainy or snowy. Maybe I need hill-walking equipment, maybe I need a trusty penknife should we find ourselves trapped in the woods where we have to catch our own food just to survive! Furthermore-"

"Rachel …"

"It stands to reason that the proper etiquette for a date should be adhered to. Why without structure and discipline you could argue that you showing up to my house and bundling me into a car to take me to an undisclosed location could be seen as kidnap, should the police somehow mistake-"

"Rachel, shut up."

The brunette fell silent and looked at Quinn who was silently massaging her temples.

"Kidnap, really?"

Rachel shrugged, seeing nothing wrong with her logic.

Quinn simply rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Don't worry I will have everything ready. All you need to do is show up."

"But I-"

"How about we watch a nice movie hmm?"

The brunette pouted and crossed her arms.

Quinn slowly glided towards her, sweeping a finger across the table as though looking for dirt.

"You know …we could always watch a musical, unless of course you would rather sit here and continue this discussion?"

Rachel's eyes lit up and she quickly leapt to her feet.

"You grab the popcorn and I'll go get my copy of Funny Girl!" she exclaimed excitedly before bounding out of the kitchen.

Quinn giggled lightly at her behaviour and turned to find the popcorn, a small smile adorning her face as she thought about their date.


	24. Through the glass

**Authors note: So this is just a little fluff and stuff. The date is coming up next chapter; let me know what you think ;) **

**Ps: Any suggestions on an epic date? **

**XX**

Quinn yawned and watched lazily as the popcorn rotated slowly inside the microwave. After a quick glance at her watch, she pushed the button and moved as the small door swung open with a resilient ping. She carefully cradled the warm bowl under her arm and used her elbow to shut the door, she made her way to the fridge, yanking it open and grabbing two bottles of water in her free hand. Hands now full; she gently kicked the door shut and exited the kitchen.

She made the short trip to the living room and deposited the items onto the coffee table, plonking herself on the couch and popping a piece of popcorn in her mouth as she awaited Rachel's return. Cocking her head momentarily, she heard the sound of tiny footsteps rapidly approaching and giggled to herself.

Moments later, a mini tornado breezed through the room, clutching the DVD to her chest like a precious jewel and looking irritated. She spotted Quinn lounged on the couch and made a beeline for her.

"This is unacceptable!"

Quinn shifted guiltily and swallowed the rest of her popcorn.

"Your right I shouldn't have started without you, here have some" she offered her the bowl.

Rachel stared at her.

"What are you talking about Quinn?"

She lowered the bowl and placed it on the table before surveying the brunette.

"Um … nothing, what's wrong?"

"I have become unorganised! It took me over four minutes to locate my Funny Girl DVD!"

"That seems pretty fast to me" shrugged Quinn easily, imagining the millions of times she had gone to look for something in her apartment and given up in an angry huff.

"Maybe for you, but not for me, when I was in High School it was under a minute. In fact I had numerous copies stashed in certain safe points about my room just in case of emergency" she ranted, pacing up and down before an amused Quinn.

"Safe points huh, like where?"

Rachel was still muttering distractedly to herself, hands flailing as she imagined Barbara's disappointment should she ever decide to visit her house and request to see a copy of Funny Girl in under a minute. This was a disaster!

"Well there's the loose floorboards under my bed and that one hollow teddy bear and there's also …hang on" she stopped pacing abruptly, her eyes narrowing.

"Why are you asking me?"

Quinn tried to feign nonchalance, she bit her lip and shrugged.

"Quinn Fabray, you were trying to find my safe points!" gasped Rachel scandalized.

Quinn's eyes widened and she couldn't hold in the laughter any longer, snorting hysterically at Rachel's murderous expression.

"I'm sorry Rachel it's just really cute how nerdy you were, with your little "safe points" and multiple copies of Funny Girl"

Rachel looked scandalized, her face slowly turning red.

"I was not a nerd! And I'll have you know that safe points and cubbyholes are very helpful for-"

Quinn actually clutched at her sides, laughing so hard that no sound actually came out as she mouthed "cubbyholes" again and again.

Rachel stomped her foot and crossed her arms trying her best to glare at the girl who was now rolling back and forth on the cushions. Eventually, realizing that Quinn was too far gone to stop for a while, she took a seat and mentally prepared a list of advantages that came with having a cubbyhole.

Finally, after ten minutes Quinn's laughs quietened to the occasional chuckle and she glanced at Rachel.

"I'm sorry about that …you were saying?" she gestured for Rachel to continue, as she took a swig from her water bottle.

Rachel eyed her, making sure that she wasn't about to laugh again. Once she was sure, she crossed her legs and glanced.

"Yes well, as I was saying keeping cubbyholes are a certain hobby of mine, like you and your pictures. A home isn't a home to me without them it's like having a secret that nobody knows about."

Quinn went rigid, her face instantly smooth.

"Quinn?" questioned Rachel worriedly, leaning over her.

The blonde simply shook her head she seemed to be struggling with something. She held up a hand to indicate that she was fine and after a few moments, she blinked, still staring straight ahead, her eyes unmoving. She took a shaky breath and released it.

"Are you telling me that you still have these …cubbyholes?"

Rachel frowned, still hovering above her.

"Of course I have."

Quinn shut her eyes and took another deep breath.

"Of course" she repeated, and with that she descended into another fit of giggles, vibrating so hard that she fell off the couch and lay in the ground, clutching her sides and gasping for breath.

It took another ten minutes of Rachel huffing angrily and throwing popcorn before Quinn composed herself enough to resume her position on the couch.

She smoothed her outfit and eyed Rachel before taking a measured breath.

"I'm sorry; I don't know what came over me."

She glanced at Rachel who stuck her tongue out and pouted, turning to face the wall, making what she thought of Quinn's little outburst very clear.

She sighed and reached across the pouting girl to grab the DVD, shuffling across the carpeted floor she popped it in and grabbed the remote, careful to dim the lights on her way back.

After a final glance at the pouting girl, Quinn settled into the couch and hit play.

Rachel huffed loudly as the opening credits rolled.

"Come on Rach, watch the movie with me" pleaded Quinn coaxingly. She saw Rachel's shoulders sag and smiled. "I know how much you _love _it."

She could almost hear the battle of voices going on in her head.

Barbra or pride! Barbra or pride!

Eventually, very slowly the tiny girl turned around and crawled towards Quinn, cuddling into her side and sighing in contentment when Quinn wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

Quinn kissed the top of her head and happily returned to the movie.

Rachel turned to glance up at her and glared amusedly.

"This does not mean that I forgive you" she mumbled before smushing herself closer and facing the TV once again.

Quinn simply smirked, knowing that Rachel would more than likely forget all about it by the end of the movie.

**XX**

After the movie, Quinn stretched and sighed heavily causing Rachel to frown up at her.

"What is it?" she asked.

Quinn turned to face her, the corners of her mouth drooping a little.

"I really have to go home."

Rachel's eyes widened and she practically jumped into Quinn's lap, effectively trapping her.

"No! Stay here!"

Quinn smiled a little and pecked the pouting girl on the nose.

"I have to go sweetie, there's a bunch of stuff I need to do before we go back to work on Monday."

Rachel whined and her frown deepened.

"Stuff …? I'm stuff do me!" her eyes widened immediately as she realized what she had said.

"Oh my …Quinn I didn't mean to imply that we should-"

Quinn chuckled and cupped her cheek, nuzzling closer.

"You are adorable" she breathed, causing Rachel to blush lightly, "and I would love nothing more than to stay here with you on this couch forever, but we have to go back to reality sometime"

Rachel nodded sadly, knowing that there were so many things they still had to decide on, like telling all their friends and whether or not they were going to come out to the media. Her head swam as she thought about how hard this was going to be, but feeling Quinn's thumb rubbing random patterns on her palm, it made her realize that it was definitely worth it.

She quickly pressed a kiss to Quinn's nose and sighed dramatically.

"I guess you're right, I really should be doing something constructive." She crinkled her nose adorably and Quinn nodded quickly, getting up before she changed her mind.

She helped Rachel to her feet and they both made their way to the door hand in hand.

Rachel pulled open the door and pouted miserably.

"I guess this is goodbye"

"For now" corrected Quinn, leaning in to gently brush her lips over Rachel's.

"For now" echoed the brunette, eyes closing momentarily as she felt Quinn's hand slip from her own.

She heard the door swing shut and her heart ached.

She didn't know it was possible to get this attached to someone; she needed Quinn like she needed air. She stood there for a moment, breathing deeply, trying to summon the willpower to do something, anything that provided a distraction from Quinn's absence.

Finally opening her eyes and turning away from the door, the brunette took one step and froze. She heard something outside; slowly rotating she crept closer and strained her ears for anymore sounds.

She heard someone sigh and started.

"Q-Quinn is that you?"

A beat of silence and then;

"Yeah"

"What are you-?"

"I'm scared" admitted Quinn in a small voice.

Rachel frowned.

"Scared of what exactly?"

She heard another sigh and the sounds of Quinn sitting against the door. She sat too.

"I'm scared of this Rachel."

"This?"

"I'm scared of the fact that I only got as far as your front step, before I had to turn around. I'm scared that nothing else seems to matter right now, because I can hear your voice and it's the only thing that makes me feel safe."

Rachel sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She held a palm against the glass panelling and her heart thudded when Quinn placed hers against it. She could almost feel the heat through the cool glass.

"Most of all, I'm scared that I haven't even left yet and I already miss you like crazy."

Rachel smiled and pressed her palm further into the glass.

"I miss you too."


End file.
